Poll Disco v Lost in Space v Orville FIGHT

[catshadowsi8]

Yeah, definitely not the case for me. When I do read body language and other nonverbal cues, it's a very conscious process. And IRL as much as in fiction, if you really want me to understand something you want to communicate, there's no substitute for words. Drives me nuts when someone expects me to pick up on something they haven't actually voiced.

I see that. So when you see an organic actor or scene they/it probably come across as poor actors/writing because they are not verbalizing enough. Makes sense.

So while you have to have verbal communication or you're frustrated, my problem is I read those non verbal clues all the time. I can't shut it off. I can walk in a room and within a very short period of time (Im talking real short) I have read the dynamics even if nothing is said. Its unconscious. It can really put a crimp in a party if someone is angry at someone else but trying to hide it. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells and people are 'What's wrong with you?'. Lol

This is also why I sometimes struggle with the internet and rarely join chat groups or forums. I miss the nuances and sometimes misinterprete what is said.

I find it fascinating that people assume everyone is hardwired the same way. For you it is verbal, me the other way. It's frustrating we can't both get what we want but unfortunately it seems to be either/or..no middle ground. Sigh...

 

[catshadowsi8]

Btw lawman, I'm married to a person who is just like you. He is totally verbal, and can't read non verbal at all. I suspect he has the same occupation as you. He has come to trust my 'instincts' and follow my advice about certain people.

Of course he had to learn the hard way. I warned him about someone once and he ignored me. It came back to bite him later.

And he loves Discovery. He can't miss an episode and he will sometimes go back to watch specific scenes to make sure he 'heard' it correctly. He can't wait for season 2.

 

[lawman]

Interesting. The communication dynamic between the two of you must be the result of a carefully achieved compromise.

I have on occasion seen people who can walk into a room and "read" it as you describe. It's an enviable skill, but such people are certainly outliers. For my part, I wouldn't trust my judgment in such a scenario even if I tried. I can do a decent job of reading a person's nonverbal cues once I've gotten to know him or her pretty well (and have a "database" to draw on, as it were), but with strangers, I'm a lot more likely to misinterpret a nonverbal message than one framed in actual words.

Basically, I think accurately modeling what's going on inside the mind of another person is a devilishly complicated and error-prone task, unless (and sometimes even if) he or she is consciously trying to share that mental activity with you. Have you ever read any of the assorted online discussion of "Ask culture vs. Guess culture"? I think it sheds some interesting light on this kind of contrast in perspectives!...

 

[catshadowsi8]

Interesting. The communication dynamic between the two of you must be the result of a carefully achieved compromise.

I have on occasion seen people who can walk into a room and "read" it as you describe. It's an enviable skill, but such people are certainly outliers. For my part, I wouldn't trust my judgment in such a scenario even if I tried. I can do a decent job of reading a person's nonverbal cues once I've gotten to know him or her pretty well (and have a "database" to draw on, as it were), but with strangers, I'm a lot more likely to misinterpret a nonverbal message than one framed in actual words.

Basically, I think accurately modeling what's going on inside the mind of another person is a devilishly complicated and error-prone task, unless (and sometimes even if) he or she is consciously trying to share that mental activity with you. Have you ever read any of the assorted online discussion of "Ask culture vs. Guess culture"? I think it sheds some interesting light on this kind of contrast in perspectives!...

Well, I will say I can't win a verbal argument with the man no matter how hard I try.

Culture is a fascinating topic because non verbal cues can differ widely. In some cultures a lack of eye contact can mean respect, while others it's disrespectful. I'm careful to feel out what I think in all situations and, to be honest, non verbal cues are a map, not necessarily a paved path. They give me a nudge in the right direction but I don't trust it blindly, any more than you can trust someone is telling you the truth just because they say it. It sure helps though.