Did you ever ask a stranger a privat question?

[TerokNor]

I just wonder...each morning I pass a few benches and each morning on them are a few guys sitting with their beer bottles in hand and many more to come.
Each afternoon I pass the same benches again and often see some of them still sitting there, drinking, staring at nothing or talking with each other. And one time one of the guys was wet...I felt embaressed for him, but he seemed not to mind....or maybe he was just to drunk to feel embaressed about wetting himself in a puplic place at his age.... he just talked on with his mates. (They seemed not to mind either.)
Each time I pass there thousends of questions burning on my lips. What happend, that they sit there? Have they no more dreams or hope left? Have they no family that helps them back on their feet? What did they wanted there lifes to be, when they were children? etc.

Did you ever stopped and asked a stranger, in such a situation, how it came? Would you? Would that be to tactless and bold a question?

TerokNor

 

[Hermiod]

You're all strangers to me and I ask you all personal questions all the time.

 

[Kestra]

I ask people inappropriately private things all the time. It doesn't even occur to me not to, half the time. I'm too curious and I want to know everything about everyone. Well, almost everything.

 

[TerokNor]

Well, but online its a bit different isn´t it?

Would you ask them? (The guys I described.)

TerokNor

 

[Kestra]

Well, but online its a bit different isn´t it?

Would you ask them? (The guys I described.)

TerokNor

Oh, I ask people in RL private things. But in the situation you described, probably not. It could come across as rude or criticising or patronising or a million other things. If I were already in a conversation with someone, I might ask them private questions. Like when I volunteered at a literacy center, I got to know the backgrounds of the people there a lot of the time. I suppose the questions could have gone horribly wrong, but getting to know them as individuals helped me understand their struggles and helped me teach them how to read better, in a way, because I understood where they came from and how much reading would mean to them.

Sorry if that was a tangent. I think it's just a case-by-case thing, but generally I would have to have some sort of interaction with a person (however superficial) before I ask them an intensely personal question.

 

[Hermiod]

Well, but online its a bit different isn´t it?

Would you ask them? (The guys I described.)

TerokNor

No, because the people like that near where I work are often already drunk and are always arguing and fighting with each other.

 

[trekkiedane]

Did you ever stopped and asked a stranger, in such a situation, how it came? Would you? Would that be to tactless and bold a question

Over by the supermarket, just across the street from the social services office (or whatever it's called these days), there's a bunch of guys (and some women) and some of their big dogs - the dogs have a bowl of water and most of the people drink beer... I've often thought about bringing a round -as a token of good will- and then join them for a couple of hours, just to figure out what the F they were doing there all day.

But, no, I've never done so, and probably, yes, because I thought it would be considered tactless, bold or in bad taste...

 

[RJDiogenes]

Sometimes I shuffle through the street, stumbling on my feet, asking people, "What's the matter with you, boy?"

 

[iguana_tonante]

Did you ever stopped and asked a stranger, in such a situation, how it came? Would you? Would that be to tactless and bold a question?

In that instances, I wouldn't ask. That would be extremely tactless and judgmental in my opinion. Some people make bad choices and live with the consequences. Some people get one very bad day and their life is fucked beyond repair. You just don't know their predicament. In every case, what gives you the right to come at them and ask "why you didn't make anything of your life?" That's plain cruel, and honestly also just asking for being stabbed.

People deserve privacy, even if it's just privacy of their mind.

I rarely ask personal questions: part is because, truth to be told, I'm not very interested in people; part because I consider it rude and intrusive. I know most often people don't mean it, but I value my privacy very much. I am a very reserved individual, and I extend the same courtesy to other people as well.

Or maybe, I'm just paranoid.

 

[Colonel Green]

I just wonder...each morning I pass a few benches and each morning on them are a few guys sitting with their beer bottles in hand and many more to come.
Each afternoon I pass the same benches again and often see some of them still sitting there, drinking, staring at nothing or talking with each other. And one time one of the guys was wet...I felt embaressed for him, but he seemed not to mind....or maybe he was just to drunk to feel embaressed about wetting himself in a puplic place at his age.... he just talked on with his mates. (They seemed not to mind either.)
Each time I pass there thousends of questions burning on my lips. What happend, that they sit there? Have they no more dreams or hope left? Have they no family that helps them back on their feet? What did they wanted there lifes to be, when they were children? etc.

Did you ever stopped and asked a stranger, in such a situation, how it came? Would you? Would that be to tactless and bold a question?

TerokNor

No hopes or dreams? Being able to sit in the park all day drinking beer and chatting IS my dream! Well, less the wetting myself part.

 

[Marie1]

Would you ask them? (The guys I described.)

TerokNor

I wouldn't cuz they made sober up long enough to beat you up...

Personally I'm a pretty private person, except for pet peeves, so I tend to note get into private stuff. People seem to like to tell me private stuff randomly... for some reason.

Not that I usually mind, I like to help people, but sometimes...

 

[trampledamage]

Did you ever stopped and asked a stranger, in such a situation, how it came? Would you? Would that be to tactless and bold a question?

In that instances, I wouldn't ask. That would be extremely tactless and judgmental in my opinion. Some people make bad choices and live with the consequences. Some people get one very bad day and their life is fucked beyond repair. You just don't know their predicament. In every case, what gives you the right to come at them and ask "why you didn't make anything of your life?" That's plain cruel, and honestly also just asking for being stabbed.

People deserve privacy, even if it's just privacy of their mind.

I rarely ask personal questions: part is because, truth to be told, I'm not very interested in people; part because I consider it rude and intrusive. I know most often people don't mean it, but I value my privacy very much. I am a very reserved individual, and I extend the same courtesy to other people as well.

Or maybe, I'm just paranoid.

I agree with jenji120 on this issue.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Don't ask too many questions or you might get hurt.

Of course there's a variant on that, "Don't be askin' toos many questions or youse might gets hurt."

 

[Holdfast]

I just wonder...each morning I pass a few benches and each morning on them are a few guys sitting with their beer bottles in hand and many more to come....

Each time I pass there thousends of questions burning on my lips. What happend, that they sit there? Have they no more dreams or hope left? Have they no family that helps them back on their feet? What did they wanted there lifes to be, when they were children? etc.

Having been professionally obliged to ask those very questions to similar individuals more times than I can recall, believe me, the answers are generally neither inspiring nor edifying.

Anyway, I'm a very private person myself. Or rather, controlled might be a better word. I don't mind sharing certain some information others perhaps wouldn't, but it has to be on MY terms only.

Point is, if somebody starts asking me lots of questions, I generally find a way to deflect or reflect them to maintain the balance of the conversation. I don't like the prying and don't tend to do it much myself, though when I want to, I can do it reasonably well. Having said that, one friend of mine has an extremely disarming, wide-eyed, way of asking questions that often elicits amazing amounts of information from others. I'm always impressed to see her dredging content from conversations, and more importantly, she remembers most of that content, whereas I almost always forget it!

 

[TerokNor]

Hmm, yes, well...that´s probably right, that it would be rude to ask. And today they were shouting angrily at each other, so they do have some aggressive potential...and I like my face intact.
Besides...if such questions would come across judgemental that probably would do more harm, than good, when no ones there to truly "catch" them.

TerokNor