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Dec Challenge-You're My Pally

Mistral

Vice Admiral
Admiral
putting this up as a stand-alone to weather criticism

You’re My Only Pally by Mistral

“Nobody ever comes in here just to relax anymore, Quark. Don’t they take any time to blow off steam?” Vic slowly turned the glass sitting in front of him in circle. “I mean, even during the war they managed to break away for an evening to just dance and relax.” They were sitting in Vic’s Rat Pack-era casino nightclub having drinks.

“Vic, I know what you mean. Business has been off since the armistice was signed.” Quark sighed. “ I still get customers, don’t get me wrong, but they’re all strangers. With O’Brien teaching on Earth Bashir never drops by anymore, unless its to have a quick drink with Ezri before they head off to their apartment. I mean, she’s cooking dinner for him most nights these days so he doesn’t even eat here anymore. And Odo’s God knows where off with the Founders, Sisko is dead(at least I think so although no one seems to want to use the word), Worf took that transfer back to the Fleet and Rom’s off fooling around with the fundamental structure of Ferengi society as the Grand Nagus. Nog is about to become Second Officer on the Reed somewhere out in the Beta Quadrant and Jake is attending that writing school in New Zealand back on Earth. Kira’s still around but I only see her when that crazy Andorian woman she assigned to take over security trumps up some fallacious charge against me.” Vic covered his mouth to hide the smirk this pronouncement caused to appear on his face. “Like I said, I still have customers but I don’t KNOW any of them, not really. Morn still comes in but I can only listen to him babble for so long before I start wanting to shove tribbles in my ears.”

“Do you still have some of those lying around?” Vic asked.

Quark took on an evasive look. “Of course not! Hungry little buggers would eat up all of my stocks in an instant! You know how bad they breed! Took us six weeks to clear the Promenade after that , ah, infestation we had.” Vic smiled knowingly and nodded, taking a drink from his glass.

“Y’know, Quark, its been worse for me, “ Vic said. “If you didn’t drop by every Thursday night I wouldn’t see anybody. I don’t know if you realize this, pally, but there’s nobody really left who even knows I’m here. They’ve all split for greener pastures.” He stared down into his drink with a wistful look. “I mean, sure, I do my sets every night for the people,” he waved his drink to take in the holographic customers scattered around the room,” but I never get to sing for anyone from out there,” he nodded vaguely towards the Arch that led to Quark’s, “ and frankly, I miss it. It was the cat’s meow, baby.”

Quark considered this for a moment. “Vic, I never realized. Now that I think of it, no one comes in asking to use your holosuite anymore. Which is a darn shame because it costs me to keep it running.” He held up his hand to forestall any protest. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I enjoy our little Thursday get-togethers.”

Vic suddenly looked thoughtful and stared off into space. Shaking himself, he said, “Quark, I may have a way to fix both of our problems.”

Quark perked up a bit. “How so, Vic?”

“Look,” Vic said, “ I want people to come in here from out there, and you said business is down, right pally?”

“Well, with no more soldiers coming through Deep Space 9 my year over year numbers…”

“Right,” said Vic, cutting him off, “And what will bring in more people?” Quark looked puzzled at his friend’s question. “A new attraction!” Vic exclaimed.

“A new attraction? What are you talking about?” Quark asked.

“Why, me, of course!” Vic replied. “Look, Quark, you have this holosuite running all of the time anyway, right?” At Quark’s nod Vic continued, “And what does the outside of the Arch look like?”

Confused, Quark answered, “A pair of doors leading to a holosuite, why?”

“There’s your problem!” Vic responded. “What you need to do is put a couple of tall, skinny potted plants on either side of the doorway and put a big neon sign over the doors that says, ‘Vic’s Place’ or something like that. Then when people ask you, you tell them its some kind of hoity-toity exclusive club-within-a-club and you charge them a cover to get in. If people think something is exclusive they’ll want in, pally!”

Quark began to get excited, “Yeah, and I could put one of my bartenders in here to serve real drinks at your bar and charge for that too!”

Vic smiled. “Now you’re using the old gray matter!”

“Ferengi brains are kinda blue, actually.” Quark said.

“Whatever,” Vic replied, “But if you wanna put one of your guys behind my bar he’s gonna have to wear a tux to fit the atmosphere around here.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Quark said, “We Ferengi are snappy dressers.”

Vic looked down at Quark’s bright orange doublet and blue hose. “ Of course you are!” he exclaimed.

“I’ll do it!” Quark said, barely able to contain himself.
They stood up and Vic threw an arm over his shoulder.

“Pally, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Quark looked puzzled. “We’re already friends, Vic.”

Vic sighed, “Nevermind. Let’s get this show on the road! The joint’s gonna be jumpin once again!”
 
A good first effort. But, if you don't mind, I'd like to give you a few suggestions that would help make your story more readable for people. First, you should break up your conversations into separate paragraphs like this:

“Nobody ever comes in here just to relax anymore, Quark. Don’t they take any time to blow off steam?” Vic slowly turned the glass sitting in front of him in circle. “I mean, even during the war they managed to break away for an evening to just dance and relax.” They were sitting in Vic’s Rat Pack-era casino nightclub having drinks.

“Vic, I know what you mean. Business has been off since the armistice was signed.” Quark sighed. “ I still get customers, don’t get me wrong, but they’re all strangers..."

etc. etc.

Now...what do you have planned next? :)
 
I actually ripped that out in twenty minutes yesterday right before I had to go home. I know it could use clearer spacing and I may go back and edit it. Its really a bit of fluff. What I'm really working on is a story about Picard and Vash finding a Preserver site. Its several pages long already but still in the opening sequences. I mean, I've only killed off one Starfleet security officer so far so it has a way to go-and, yes, I am dividing it up better. :)
 
It's fluff, but it's diverting fluff. :)

Largely spot-on characterisations of Vic and Quark, and the idea of franchisement is both funny and in character for both.

Liked the Casablanca nod, too. ;)
 
I liked it, a nice lightweight tale- not that there's anything wrong with things being lightweight you understand :)

I thought Vic was spot on, the only fault I could find with it really was Qurk. Not the characterisation, he acted how I'd expect him to act, no it was the language. I just couldn't see Quark saying some of the words you put in his mouth.

God knows, darn, bugger...none of them sat quite right. (To be fair to you though even professional Star Trek writers still insist on putting human terms like hell/ God etc into the mouths of aliens)

That's just me being picky though. Like I said, I liked it :bolian:
 
Starkers said:
(To be fair to you though even professional Star Trek writers still insist on putting human terms like hell/

Maybe hell is a UT translation for the Vault of Eternal Destitution? ;) The word is ultimately pagan and Nordic in origin, after all, and was used to translate the Greek word Hades in the New Testament, which has a different pagan reference altogether.

Anyway, Star Trek aliens are manifestly humans but presented allegorically. I don't see that big a deal so long as they sound like something Quark would say... admittedly, they don't, but generally he was spot on.
 
I liked this. I thought Quark went on a bit long here (but I guess he had to, to explain where everybody had gone)

Also, how did Quark not come up with this idea earlier? A way to make extra profit he hadn't thought about before? Good thing Vic knows how he thinks.

A great little and very entertaining story and light-hearted to boot. We don't get too many of those in the challenges.

Good work. :thumbsup:
 
CeJay said:

A great little and very entertaining story and light-hearted to boot. We don't get too many of those in the challenges.

Very true, and proof that it's possible to take the most depressing sounding challenges and do something light hearted.

Unfortunately mine will likely be depressing! :lol:
 
Starkers said:
CeJay said:
A great little and very entertaining story and light-hearted to boot. We don't get too many of those in the challenges.
Very true, and proof that it's possible to take the most depressing sounding challenges and do something light hearted.

Unfortunately mine will likely be depressing! :lol:

I don't care what next month's challenge is. I'm going to write something funny. :)

Probably with Anticans. :evil:
 
Thank you for the kind words. My defense of Quark's dialogue is thus. 1.-He's been hanging around Hu-mans too long and 2. As a bartender he tries to ingratiate himself with his customers to make them feel at home. Hanging with Vic he's liable to match some speech patterns and use Hu-man phrasing.
As to why he never thought of that before? You'd have to ask Berman 'cause that should have been covered on the show. OH, and Quark ALWAYS goes on too long. I think its a Rule of Aquisition-"Silence never settled any deal." Thanks all. Wait till you see what I have in the works-it is writing itself so far and I just can't stop! Heeelllppp mmeeee!
 
Personally, I think you did a great job, both with Vick and Quark. And, as you stated, Quark's been hanging around humans a LONG time, so he's picked up some of the idioms.

Very nice work! :thumbsup:
 
I liked the dialogue between the characters myself. Sure, Quark's picked up some human aphorisms over the last decade, but that’s to be expected. I thought you captured the voices of both characters admirably, as well as their joint loneliness in the aftermath of the war and the dissolution of DS9’s senior staff. But hey, they’ll both find solace in their new venture. Vic will get the attention he craves, and Quark will get the profit he yearns for.

Nice job! :bolian:
 
I suspect I'll come back to Vic-he's always been one of my favorite characters-I guess because I'm just old enough to look back on the days of Rat Pack Vegas with nostalgia. I'm just glad everyone basically liked this. Gracias!
 
I loved this story - I think it fits that it wouldn't have occurred to Quark to run Vic's as a separate nightclub, that's very much within Vic's experience, not Quark's.

A nice take on the changes peace brings to DS9
 
Hehe. Out of all the people the war affected, and of all the characters "left behind" when DS9 ended, I never expected to read a story about Vic Fontaine. But what you've written here is both sensible and fun. I'm just surprised that Quark (or Vic) didn't mention the 34th Rule of Acquisition.

Just one small suggestion: Quark's big "where are they now" speech might read a little easier if you break it up with some observations and questions from Vic.
 
Thank you, and yes. This was a very early writing attempt. And I'm not done with Vic, rest assured, but isn't he people too? So the end of the war would mess him up just like the others...
 
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