Qristmas
The Enterprise was three days out from D’ahkar Station, located near the former Cardassian Union, on a relief supply mission. Captain Jean-Luc Picard sat in his command chair, reading over cargo manifests. Next to him, Commander William Riker was frankly dozing at his post after a late night of poker. The entire ship carried a feeling of ennui, a quietness related to the fact that the Fleet flagship was on a milk run. It was therefore understandable that Captain Picard dropped the padd in his hand to the deck when he unexpectedly heard,
“Hello, Jean-Luc!” in an all too familiar voice. Every head on the bridge swiveled over to look at the man leaning, cocky expression intact, against the safety restraint rail left of the tactical station. “Do you know what today is, Jean-Luc?”
Jean-Luc glared at the intruder. “Of course I do, Q,” he replied, “It’s stardate 87-“
“No, no, no, “ Q cut him off. “I delved into the omnipotent informational source that is my mind and discovered you Humans, at least, those of your cultural background, celebrate a holiday today.” He seemed very satisfied with himself.
Picard opened his mouth but Riker cut him off. “Actually, sir, he’s right. Today is Christmas Eve. You were planning to attend the party in 10 Forward tomorrow, right?”
Q appeared delighted that Riker was on his side. “Exactly, Jean-Luc! And so I decided to give you a gift.” He smiled sardonically at Picard and Riker. “I do believe it is tradition.”
Riker scowled at Q. “Q, what is it that you really want?” The hostility in his voice was obvious.
Q just smiled. “In keeping with your own traditions, I am giving you a gift.” There was a flash and Q was holding a little package, a square object wrapped in reflective paper that was decorated with tiny reindeer. On the top sat a red silk bow. Picard eyed it warily.
“Q, we’re not falling for your tricks,” Riker said.
Picard shook himself visibly. “Yes, Q, you aren’t sucking us into another of your little fantasies. I am afraid I’ve had more than enough time being Robin Hood, or whatever you think you have in store for us. We have to deliver these relief supplies to what’s left of Cardassia Prime.”
“Jean-Luc, Jean-Luc, Jean-Luc, I just want to give you a Christmas gift! Why do you assume I would otherwise cause you grief?” He smirked at Picard. The package disappeared. “I think the Christmas gift-giving tradition is wonderful. And I like you, so I thought, let’s get something special for Jean-Luc!”
Picard looked at him with hooded eyes. “I don’t know what you are up to, but I would like you to leave.” Q stared at him for a moment.
“Very well, Jean-Luc,” he said, “But you’ll hate yourself for refusing my gift.”
Riker spoke up. “Q, you gave me a gift one time. It didn’t work out very well.”
“This is different,” Q replied, “But that’s ok-if you don’t want it I’ll go away.” And he vanished.
Picard turned towards Riker. “Why do I feel we haven’t we haven’t seen the last of him?”
Riker looked into the Captain’s eyes firmly. “Because he never let’s us know what he’s really up to until it’s too late.”
Picard stood and tugged down his uniform. “Yes, you’re right, of course.” He strode towards the door to his ready room. “I have some paperwork to complete. You have the con. Let me know if Q returns.”
“Aye, Captain,” Riker responded, taking the command chair.
***********************
It was late in the evening and Picard’s neck hurt. He closed the final file on the padd in his hand and headed out into the corridor. As he made his way to his quarters several crewmembers passed him and wished him a merry Christmas. He responded correctly, his mind on other things. As he reached the door to his quarters he heard,
“It’s about time! I was starting to think that you lived on the Bridge!”
Picard looked up at the person leaning on the door to his quarters. “Q! Why won’t you leave me alone?”
The man at the door crossed his arms, propped against the doorjamb. “Jean-Luc, I’d really like to give you a Christmas present.” He grinned. “I like you, Jean-Luc, don’t you know that?”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” Picard muttered.
“Oh, Jean-Luc, don’t be that way!” He got off the doorjamb and stepped towards Picard. “I have a present for you. It’s in your quarters.” He extended his hand towards Picard’s entryway. “Won’t you step in and see what it is?”
Jean-Luc looked at him warily. “Q, if this is some kind of trick or trial I’m not up for it. I’m tired, and I want to go to bed.” Remembering an incident involving Q some time in the past, he added, ”Alone.”
“Well, of course, Jean-Luc! Whatever you want! Just go on in!” Q smiled at him sardonically.
Eyeing Q carefully, Picard touched the control pad and the doors ‘wooshed’ open. It looked like his normal quarters. “I don’t see anything.”
Q smirked. ”I assure you, there is a gift in there for you.”
Picard stepped into the room. He suddenly found himself on a dirt lane leading up to an all too familiar house. Picard gaped in wonder. “This is my family home!” he exclaimed. “But, the fire…”
Q was standing next to him. He smiled. “No, Jean-Luc, this isn’t your home. There are a multitude of universes, where things have played out just a little differently. This is one of them. Here, your family home never burned down. As my gift to you, you can stay here for the next 24 Earth hours. It’s going to make things a little difficult for your counter-part in this universe, as he’s currently so far out that he’s beyond communication, but that’s his problem.” Q looked smug. “When he does return to Earth there’s going to be a bit of confusion.” Q seemed pleased with the prospect. Picard wondered about how many ‘Jean-Lucs’ he’d interfered with across the multiverse.
Picard looked at Q. “Why am I here?”
Q smiled, and for the first time in their long acquaintance, Picard felt that the smile was an honest one. He walked down the lane towards the door of the house. His hand was paused to knock, so uncomfortable did he feel, when it swung open.
“Jean-Luc, I thought you couldn’t make it!” Marie looked exceptionally pleased. “Come in, come in! Robert is in the kitchen.”
Picard looked at Q. “She can’t see me, you know,” Q said.
“Marie, you look splendid,” Picard said, grasping her hands. She blushed.
“Why, thank you, Jean-Luc!” She was both delighted and embarrassed. “Robert will be so pleased to see you!”
She stepped back into the house and Jean-Luc followed. Q trailed them, a grin on his face.
Robert had a bottle of wine in front of him, and a half-empty glass as well. He looked up from beneath bushy eyebrows.
“So the prodigal returns for the holiday?” His smile contradicted his gruff tone.
Picard looked in wonder at his family, Marie having stepped to Robert’s side. “But, the fire…”
“Was nothing, since I put in the upgraded detection system you insisted on during your last visit.” Robert looked puzzled at Jean-Luc’s comment. Picard glanced at Q with a puzzled expression on his face.
“Different universes, Jean-Luc, different paths chosen.” Q looked quite pleased with himself.
“And I have until midnight tomorrow?” Picard asked, looking at Q.
“Is that when you have to go back?” Marie asked. Picard looked uncomfortable.
“Um, yes, that’s when I have to report back,” he said, even as Q answered,
“That’s right, Jean-Luc.”
“Oh, well, then we must make the most of the time we have!” Marie exclaimed.
Jean-Luc stood by the table, flabbergasted, as Robert offered him a glass of the family vintage. Then he grinned.
“Yes, we should…make the most of the time we have.” He held his glass up. “To family!” Robert and Marie held up their glasses as well.
“To family!” Q grinned, watching them all. Suddenly, a thundering noise came from the front hall. A small boy burst into the room. He skidded to a halt, a look of shock and delight on his face upon seeing the unexpected guest.
“Uncle!” he cried, and rushed forward, throwing his arms around Picard’s legs. Tears formed in Jean-Luc’s eyes.
“Rene,” he breathed, his heart swelling with feelings he couldn’t define.
Q faded out like the Cheshire Cat and only Picard heard what he had to say.
“Merry Christmas, Jean-Luc.”
The Enterprise was three days out from D’ahkar Station, located near the former Cardassian Union, on a relief supply mission. Captain Jean-Luc Picard sat in his command chair, reading over cargo manifests. Next to him, Commander William Riker was frankly dozing at his post after a late night of poker. The entire ship carried a feeling of ennui, a quietness related to the fact that the Fleet flagship was on a milk run. It was therefore understandable that Captain Picard dropped the padd in his hand to the deck when he unexpectedly heard,
“Hello, Jean-Luc!” in an all too familiar voice. Every head on the bridge swiveled over to look at the man leaning, cocky expression intact, against the safety restraint rail left of the tactical station. “Do you know what today is, Jean-Luc?”
Jean-Luc glared at the intruder. “Of course I do, Q,” he replied, “It’s stardate 87-“
“No, no, no, “ Q cut him off. “I delved into the omnipotent informational source that is my mind and discovered you Humans, at least, those of your cultural background, celebrate a holiday today.” He seemed very satisfied with himself.
Picard opened his mouth but Riker cut him off. “Actually, sir, he’s right. Today is Christmas Eve. You were planning to attend the party in 10 Forward tomorrow, right?”
Q appeared delighted that Riker was on his side. “Exactly, Jean-Luc! And so I decided to give you a gift.” He smiled sardonically at Picard and Riker. “I do believe it is tradition.”
Riker scowled at Q. “Q, what is it that you really want?” The hostility in his voice was obvious.
Q just smiled. “In keeping with your own traditions, I am giving you a gift.” There was a flash and Q was holding a little package, a square object wrapped in reflective paper that was decorated with tiny reindeer. On the top sat a red silk bow. Picard eyed it warily.
“Q, we’re not falling for your tricks,” Riker said.
Picard shook himself visibly. “Yes, Q, you aren’t sucking us into another of your little fantasies. I am afraid I’ve had more than enough time being Robin Hood, or whatever you think you have in store for us. We have to deliver these relief supplies to what’s left of Cardassia Prime.”
“Jean-Luc, Jean-Luc, Jean-Luc, I just want to give you a Christmas gift! Why do you assume I would otherwise cause you grief?” He smirked at Picard. The package disappeared. “I think the Christmas gift-giving tradition is wonderful. And I like you, so I thought, let’s get something special for Jean-Luc!”
Picard looked at him with hooded eyes. “I don’t know what you are up to, but I would like you to leave.” Q stared at him for a moment.
“Very well, Jean-Luc,” he said, “But you’ll hate yourself for refusing my gift.”
Riker spoke up. “Q, you gave me a gift one time. It didn’t work out very well.”
“This is different,” Q replied, “But that’s ok-if you don’t want it I’ll go away.” And he vanished.
Picard turned towards Riker. “Why do I feel we haven’t we haven’t seen the last of him?”
Riker looked into the Captain’s eyes firmly. “Because he never let’s us know what he’s really up to until it’s too late.”
Picard stood and tugged down his uniform. “Yes, you’re right, of course.” He strode towards the door to his ready room. “I have some paperwork to complete. You have the con. Let me know if Q returns.”
“Aye, Captain,” Riker responded, taking the command chair.
***********************
It was late in the evening and Picard’s neck hurt. He closed the final file on the padd in his hand and headed out into the corridor. As he made his way to his quarters several crewmembers passed him and wished him a merry Christmas. He responded correctly, his mind on other things. As he reached the door to his quarters he heard,
“It’s about time! I was starting to think that you lived on the Bridge!”
Picard looked up at the person leaning on the door to his quarters. “Q! Why won’t you leave me alone?”
The man at the door crossed his arms, propped against the doorjamb. “Jean-Luc, I’d really like to give you a Christmas present.” He grinned. “I like you, Jean-Luc, don’t you know that?”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” Picard muttered.
“Oh, Jean-Luc, don’t be that way!” He got off the doorjamb and stepped towards Picard. “I have a present for you. It’s in your quarters.” He extended his hand towards Picard’s entryway. “Won’t you step in and see what it is?”
Jean-Luc looked at him warily. “Q, if this is some kind of trick or trial I’m not up for it. I’m tired, and I want to go to bed.” Remembering an incident involving Q some time in the past, he added, ”Alone.”
“Well, of course, Jean-Luc! Whatever you want! Just go on in!” Q smiled at him sardonically.
Eyeing Q carefully, Picard touched the control pad and the doors ‘wooshed’ open. It looked like his normal quarters. “I don’t see anything.”
Q smirked. ”I assure you, there is a gift in there for you.”
Picard stepped into the room. He suddenly found himself on a dirt lane leading up to an all too familiar house. Picard gaped in wonder. “This is my family home!” he exclaimed. “But, the fire…”
Q was standing next to him. He smiled. “No, Jean-Luc, this isn’t your home. There are a multitude of universes, where things have played out just a little differently. This is one of them. Here, your family home never burned down. As my gift to you, you can stay here for the next 24 Earth hours. It’s going to make things a little difficult for your counter-part in this universe, as he’s currently so far out that he’s beyond communication, but that’s his problem.” Q looked smug. “When he does return to Earth there’s going to be a bit of confusion.” Q seemed pleased with the prospect. Picard wondered about how many ‘Jean-Lucs’ he’d interfered with across the multiverse.
Picard looked at Q. “Why am I here?”
Q smiled, and for the first time in their long acquaintance, Picard felt that the smile was an honest one. He walked down the lane towards the door of the house. His hand was paused to knock, so uncomfortable did he feel, when it swung open.
“Jean-Luc, I thought you couldn’t make it!” Marie looked exceptionally pleased. “Come in, come in! Robert is in the kitchen.”
Picard looked at Q. “She can’t see me, you know,” Q said.
“Marie, you look splendid,” Picard said, grasping her hands. She blushed.
“Why, thank you, Jean-Luc!” She was both delighted and embarrassed. “Robert will be so pleased to see you!”
She stepped back into the house and Jean-Luc followed. Q trailed them, a grin on his face.
Robert had a bottle of wine in front of him, and a half-empty glass as well. He looked up from beneath bushy eyebrows.
“So the prodigal returns for the holiday?” His smile contradicted his gruff tone.
Picard looked in wonder at his family, Marie having stepped to Robert’s side. “But, the fire…”
“Was nothing, since I put in the upgraded detection system you insisted on during your last visit.” Robert looked puzzled at Jean-Luc’s comment. Picard glanced at Q with a puzzled expression on his face.
“Different universes, Jean-Luc, different paths chosen.” Q looked quite pleased with himself.
“And I have until midnight tomorrow?” Picard asked, looking at Q.
“Is that when you have to go back?” Marie asked. Picard looked uncomfortable.
“Um, yes, that’s when I have to report back,” he said, even as Q answered,
“That’s right, Jean-Luc.”
“Oh, well, then we must make the most of the time we have!” Marie exclaimed.
Jean-Luc stood by the table, flabbergasted, as Robert offered him a glass of the family vintage. Then he grinned.
“Yes, we should…make the most of the time we have.” He held his glass up. “To family!” Robert and Marie held up their glasses as well.
“To family!” Q grinned, watching them all. Suddenly, a thundering noise came from the front hall. A small boy burst into the room. He skidded to a halt, a look of shock and delight on his face upon seeing the unexpected guest.
“Uncle!” he cried, and rushed forward, throwing his arms around Picard’s legs. Tears formed in Jean-Luc’s eyes.
“Rene,” he breathed, his heart swelling with feelings he couldn’t define.
Q faded out like the Cheshire Cat and only Picard heard what he had to say.
“Merry Christmas, Jean-Luc.”
