Dear Abby... Give a TBBSer a Hand?

[Adm_Hawthorne]

You ever have a Dear Abby issue but you didn't bother to send it in because you figured you'd never get an answer?

Well, I think, maybe, we can be our own Abby (Abby's? Abbi? Abbies?). So, how about we crank out some Dear Abby letters and see if our fellow posters can give us a life changing answer in 4 paragraphs or less?

Here, I'll start...

Dear Abby,

A friend of mine pretty much summed up how I feel right now. I feel like I'm stuck in the 1st circle of hell at work. I am an administrative assistant at a headhunter agency, and one of the recruiters is driving me nuts.

She's over-bearing and hard headed. If she's not talking as loudly as she can about politics and what "bullshit" is going on that she doesn't agree with politically speaking, she's talking about her family. If she's not talking about her family, she's telling the other recruiter how wrong he is or making him leave his desk to go to hers for something inane. If she's doing none of the above, she's completely ignoring everyone to the point that we can't get work related answers from her. What's really odd to me is that she whispers to the other recruiter randomly. It probably wouldn't bother me so much if she didn't go through the extremes of practically yelling to whispering in the span of seconds.

She's erratic and temperamental. She becomes irritated when corrected, and she must ALWAYS be correct. She's offensive. She's the most politically incorrect person I have met in a long while. She becomes offended when anyone suggests what she's saying or doing may not be the best thing to say or talk about in the office.

What's worse is that she covers over everything she says by using the term "sweetie". So, conversations go something along the lines of, "Sweetie, you know, if you'd just stop eating so much, you could get rid of some that weight." It's her version of the Southern "bless your heart" routine.

I really want to jump her in the parking lot.

Thing is, the president of the company really likes her. He thinks she's a riot. So, going to him is out. He is my and her direct supervisor. But, I'm not sure I can deal with her much longer. Times are tough. I have a good job but for her. Can you give any advice on how to deal with her?

- Hell on Earth

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Dear Hell on Earth,

Just about everyone has that one annoying coworker that grinds their gears day in, day out. Since you can't force her to change her behavior, all you can do is change how you respond to her. Don't get involved in arguments with her. Tune out her ranting. Wear headphones. Minimize your dealings with her as much as possible.

Given that the President of the company is enabling her behavior, it sounds like he is also part of the problem. If you find it impossible to ignore her antics, she makes your job intolerable, and you have no way to redress your grievances, it may be time to seek employment elsewhere.

Good luck!

 

[Mistral]

Dear Hell On Earth,

Walmart is said to be phasing out the sale of firearms in many states. You need to move quickly.

 

[JiNX-01]

Dear Hell On Earth,

Walmart is said to be phasing out the sale of firearms in many states. You need to move quickly.

God, I hope you're kidding! Because it looks like "Hell" is about snap.

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

Dear Hell On Earth,

Walmart is said to be phasing out the sale of firearms in many states. You need to move quickly.

*takes down notes*
*checks for local WalMarts*

 

[Vulcan Princess]

Robert Maxwell said what I was going to say. I hope your situation improves.

Here's my letter:

Dear Abby,

My roommate and I decided to part ways last month. We had a big argument about her creepy alcoholic significant other overstaying his welcome that led up to the decision. Anyway, I ended up finding my own place and moving out. The lease on the old place was in my name, and we agreed that I would transfer the lease to her name, pay her a sum of money, and then leave. I did, and we signed the lease transfer paperwork. The landlord assures me that everything is now completely in my roommate's name and that I'm off the hook.

Now my roommate is claiming that I didn't give her enough money and is saying that I'm still responsible for paying the rent even though I'm not living there. My repeated attempts to explain to her that I've fulfilled our agreement have been met with angry e-mails threatening to sue. I've checked with my lawyer and I'm fine, so I have no legal worries. However, we have several mutual friends, and she's been painting me as the Antichrist, claiming that I'm cheating her and that I left her high and dry.

How do I defend myself from these unfair accusations?

-Never Having Roommates Again

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

Dear Never,

There are many reasons friends and money don't mix. It's much like mixing oil and water.

It sounds to me like your ex-roommate is looking for some extra money because she wasn't prepared for the reality of living on her own. Because you two have mutual friends, it can be hard to take the high road knowing she is taking the mud slinging path.

But, if they're really your friends, they'll approach you and ask for your side. I wouldn't advise volunteering information, however. The people who consider you a friend and her a friend should already know about her SO's little problem, and shouldn't be surprised at the outcome of the situation.

In the meantime, ignore her emails or, better yet, block them completely. Unfriend her, block her number, and know you did nothing wrong.

 

[Mistral]

Adm Hawthorne-how many points? No flag, no country. Those are the rules that I've just made up.

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

Adm Hawthorne-how many points? No flag, no country. Those are the rules that I've just made up.

10 points for effort. It's an Eddy Izzard reference.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Dead creepy roommate experiencer,


Annonymous Craigslist postings will surely sour her reputation. And a call to her mom and/or dad about her behavior towards you and with the alcoholic, might be more than your roommate wants.

If all else fails, grab her from behind when she's not looking, put a knife to her throat and tell her not to "push it" and that youll give her a "war you won't believe...".

 

[Mistral]

Adm Hawthorne-how many points? No flag, no country. Those are the rules that I've just made up.

10 points for effort. It's an Eddy Izzard reference.

From Dressed to Kill. About 42 minutes in, if I recall correctly.While explaining how Britain got its colonial empire. Just before the whole "Cake or Death?!?" bit.

Wore out my VHS copy and replaced it with every Izzard concert DVD I could find. It was wifey's Xmas gift a couple years back.

 

[MetalPants]

I feel like I'm stuck in the 1st circle of hell at work.

You feel like you are stuck in Limbo with the guiltless pagans, suffering through all eternity because of your separation from God?

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

I feel like I'm stuck in the 1st circle of hell at work.

You feel like you are stuck in Limbo with the guiltless pagans, suffering through all eternity because of your separation from God?

This woman makes baby Jesus cry. There are no good days, and there are no bad days. There are just days. They come and go in constant cycle of blah where no one speaks and we all do the same things over and over again.

The work environment is disjointed, and no one can relate to anyone else because her personality dictates the office. Her personality is heartless in a way I cannot begin describe.

So, yeah, in a way it feels like I'm separated from anything good, righteous, or holy while I'm there.

 

[Kestra]

Dear Never Having Roommates Again,

If you're legally in the clear (and you're sure of this), then don't fret too much. Just make sure you keep documentation longer than you think you need to. The mutual friends thing sucks, but take the high road and don't mudsling. Answer questions if they're asked or if the topic comes up, but try to stay civil and keep things focused on what you did right, rather than what the other person did wrong.

Sometimes you can't totally clear your name when it comes to the social aspect. Know that you did nothing wrong and keep that confident attitude around your friends. They'll pick up on it and as long as you're not saying shit behind the other person's back, it'll make you look better in the long run. Plus drama just sucks.

 

[LaxScrutiny]

Dear Never Having Roomates,

This is less of a legal issue than a social one. You have to be the judge of what is at stake.

Are your friendships secure? Will people think less of you in any way that actually matters? If she is exagerating to the point of lying, it becomes slander.

A simple "I don't what she is talking about, I signed with the landlord to transfer the lease to her." is all you really have to say to people. This establishes fact, rather than emotion, and you may then change the subject and take the high road from there.

You best protect your repuation by being an honest and trustworthy friend to everyone else.

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

Dear Abby,

I have a friend - we'll call her "Katie" - that can't seem to make up her mind, and it's starting to put a strain on our friendship.

A few months ago, we were both introduced to a young intern who is two shades short of a a perfect 10. She's funny. She's smart. She's gorgeous. She's unattached. She also bats for my team, which has many of the men in the office pretty bummed.

Katie wound up being the intern's mentor, which is perfectly fine by me. I've been trying to get a date, so the conflict of interest if the intern had been mine would have just been awful.

Anyway, long story short, the intern's not really interested in me, but she has the hots for Katie in a blinding sort of way. Katie knows about it, but she doesn't want to break protocol, and she's not really into women. At least, she says she's not, but I think Katie might swing a little more my direction than she wants to let herself believe.

The problem here is that Katie keeps asking me what to do about it all. I keep telling her she should follow her instincts on it, and, if she wants to date the intern, I'll switch over to mentor her at work so there won't be a conflict of interests. Katie thinks I'm trying to pull her over to the dark side when I say things like that, which makes us fight because I'm not. I want her to be happy, and her obvious attraction to the intern is starting to make her cranky.

Have any advice on how I can help Katie make a final decision? Something's going to have to give soon.

- Trying to be Fair

 

[TheBrew]

Trying to be fair,

Have her transfer the intern to you no matter what. It will clear the space and let "Katie" think about what she wants to do. Their relationship is obviously not on a professional basis anymore and is facing a big conflict of interest.

-Abby-Doobie

 

[SiorX]

^ Dear Trying To Be Fair,

At first glance, this seems like a labyrinthine social dilemma. But it's not. This is actually a health and safety issue.

Ostensibly straight women who won't quit with the ambiguous signals are a menace to mental well-being and, in worst-case scenarios, can induce screaming fits of frustration detrimental to morale in the workplace.

I suggest a team training day. Motivational guest speakers could include Sigourney Weaver, Kate Mulgrew, Jane Lynch, Tina Fey, Lucy Lawless ... lost my train of thought.

Seriously though, there's only so much you can do. Sounds like even if your friend is attracted to the intern, she's far from comfortable with the idea of it. There's a lot for her to work through, and she has to do that herself. My advice would be to tell her straight out this is something she needs to work out for herself, and that while you're willing to listen, you can't choose for her. Then try to keep shtum, no matter how much you want to hit her in the head.