Data does Stand up.

[Jayson1]

Data was finally going to do it. He always was fascinated with comedy when he was a Android without emotions and even understood some of the basic logic as to why a joke was or was not funny but understanding comedy through logic was one thing. To feel it running through his blood was different.

It had been a month since Data or Data with a little Lore and B4 inside him had been brought back to life and some of glow of being reunited with his old friends and his old favorite ship and saving the Federation from the Borg(again) was wearing off and life was returning to normal for most and for him a new normal he never had before. Which meant he needed to start living again.

He could have continued in Starfleet but he just didn't feel it. While he didn't quit, he did go on a reserve clause for people who wants the option of maybe returning someday. He instead wanted to try something new. No Starfleet or even anything science related. He wanted to be a comedian and so he booked his first gig in New York at the George Carlin theater. Something that had been a go to place for big comedy acts since the early days of the New York reconstruction after WW III.


Sure a month wasn't a very long time to prepare a stand up number but he was eager to get started and worked hard to come up with some material and now he was going to try his hand and see if any of it works and if not what he needs to work on. He was now waiting for the MC to usher him on the stage. Well the moment has arrived.


"Okay you might know our next act. He is a hero of the Federation. A Android turned human. The first machine to have more wrinkles than your grandparents. Mr Data!" MC said her words and smiled and watched Data come out on stage. He walked out smiling and sort of absorbing the clapping and cheers. Wearing a business casual suit that Riker told him would look really good on him. He took the voice amplifier from the MC. "Thank you folks. You are making me so happy. Granted with new emotions getting a stub toe makes me smile so maybe.. " Data did a sort of head shrug and the crowd laughed. "I think we should thank our MC. Macey the Ape was very kind to host this invent. She usually specializes in monkey humor so I feel like I should give her my poop after the show." the crowd laughed as the MC left the stage.


I will come finish this story a little later.

 

[Jayson1]

Data was now on the stage alone. Looking across the crowd of about 200 people or so. Data was still smart but no so much that he could give a perfect exact number like he use to. "Anyways yes it's true I am a Android. Or Androidish. Got the personalities of two brothers inside of me in the new version of me. Of course I get all the credit now when I do something good but if I fail I get to blame them. So if I bomb tonight then shame on them I say. " crowed chuckled but Data realized not the big laugh because he assumed they might not know this aspect of him.

"I know it was big in the news that me and my old crew saved the day by flying our old ship the Enterprise D into battle." Data developed a small smile. "It was grand to be back and me and the crew cherished the experience. It's why we made sure to not let Commander Worf touch any of the buttons." Crowd laughed hard. Data knew the story of what happened to the Enterprise E was very much in the headlines at the time and the events were public knowledge. Poor Worf. Still he had to go their.

Data continued on. "I am guessing some of you are wonder about the thing. You know the thing. Yes I do have a penis and yes it is part android in design and no it does not vibrate on command." I get hard like everyone else does. KIrk/Spock holofiction." Crowd laughed again. Data felt he was doing good. "I do seriously though want to fall in love. I have fallen in love before." Data could feel the tears forming but wanted to hold back as he thought or Tasha. "She is not with us anymore. Hopefully in a better place. I would like to believe a God is real but I once saw a GOD wear a Sombrero so who knows." Crowd laughed again but sort of. Old Enterprise D books were long ago so who knows what people still recalled from those times."

"I also loved my old cat Spot. She never listened to me and did whatever she wanted and I miss her dearly. But I also figured out something. Cats are to pet owners what teenagers are to parents. Annoying at times, arrogant but God dang it you are still not required to feed them. So if any parents are on the crowd. Feline supplement number 9. They will love it." crowd didn't quite get the joke and Data was not surprised. It wasn't one of his favorites either.

"Well before I leave" I wanted to drop a little wisdom before going. Or not. Hear that Lore!" as Data made a talking to himself reaction and the crowd was back and laughed. People say that these are dark times and if you have traveled on a modern Starfleet ship I would see why but it's not. " Data who had paced most of the evening stood still now. "Times are better than ever. We have made peace with many of the aliens that use to be our enemies back in my younger days. The Borg are no longer a threat. Androids are starting to finally get rights and even Bajor is a paradise that it was not after their Occupation." Data looked at the people. "I hope people still have the love and optimism we did back in my day. Look around at the world and see the glory. If not at least be happy we get to wear clothes now with pockets again. Fashion back in my day looked like it came out of 20th century costume party." the crown once again laughed. "Thank you. I appreciate your attention. I now give way to Duke Cannonball and his fudge balls." Data handed the speaking device to Duke and walked out the left side exit almost bumping into the fudge canon being pulled onstage but lucky no wacky antics involving fudge this time.

Data had did it. He was proud and happy and was excited about doing it again someday. Data pulled out his communicator and made a call. " I did it. I wish you could have been here to see me but I understand Starfleet Academy training is hard and time consuming." then " I know Dad. I wanted to be their so much. I can't wait to see it on a holodeck with you. I do think I can be in San Fran in a week. Are you going to be at your apartment then?" Data smiled 'Yes. I will be working on new material. New Yucks. Look forward to the visit. I guess I will let you go. Goodnight Soji." and "Goodnight dad." Data turned the communicator off and lifted his head up and started walking. It was good to be alive again he thought.

 

[Jayson1]

Okay I am done. What do people think?

 

[Robert Bruce Scott]

I enjoyed the jokes - overall pretty good. I do recommend you take some time to go back through and pay close attention to your quotation marks. They get a little random, particularly in the next to last paragraph, and it gets distracting because it's a little challenging to pick up on when Data is speaking and when you're describing action. You never want your reader stumbling over punctuation.

Thanks!! rbs