Author's Notes: This story takes place in conjuction with David Falkayn's Sutherland story Messages from Earth. The inspiration from this story came from the challenge entry Hell Date. Some of you guys suggested I expand that story, so here goes. This story takes place from late 2371 to mid-2372.
Dark Territory: False Colors
- Thread starter DarKush
- Start date
Sorry again guys. I'm having trouble posting stories lately. Could someone explain to me how to format the stories again. I keep pressing the button with the double A's that has an X across it, but it's not working. Also, this darn thing is stuck in centering mode. If I can't get it posted on here I'll just post it on the United Trek website once I'm finished and provide a link. Sorry.
Might have something to do with your browser. I've had so many problems posting stuff using Internet Explorer that I switched to Firefox for TrekBBS purposes.
You could also try to copy your story into notepad before pasting it into TrekBBS. It doesn't seem to like Word particularly well.
You could also try to copy your story into notepad before pasting it into TrekBBS. It doesn't seem to like Word particularly well.
Thanks CeJay. It's funny but I used to have no problems copying and posting from Word.
I think it's a combination of vBulletin and Word 2007--the xml markup language in .docx files can really cause a bad case of file bloat. You might want to consider saving your file as a Word 2003 .doc file or as a text file and then copy and paste.
I'm looking forward to seeing this story!
I'm looking forward to seeing this story!
It took a long time, but I can finally say that "False Colors" is complete. Here is a link to it:
http://www.unitedtrek.org/Dark Territory/FalseColors.htm
I want to thank David Falkayn for posting this on the United Trek website. I hope you all enjoy.
http://www.unitedtrek.org/Dark Territory/FalseColors.htm
I want to thank David Falkayn for posting this on the United Trek website. I hope you all enjoy.
Just finished with this one and I'm seriously impressed.
This is an amazing story on a number of different levels. Even though you've got countless different characters, relationships and motivations, the story remained very focused on Haas and Leyton's coup on Earth throughout with plenty of Terrence Glover/Jasmine drama added into the mix.
The implications of the coup appear even worse in this story than we've seen previously (except of course the death toll, of course). Here, Starfleet comes to the brink of civil war and even at the end of the story the two sides appear bitterly divided. I like the focus on the relationship between Starfleet and the Federation and also how some Starfleet officers see themselves as soldiers first. That's an interesting conflict that I'm sure will come up again, especially after the Dominion War.
The characters were definitely the key to this story. Absolueltey everyone was fascinating in their own way. Even your main villain was an entirely likeable character and a man who just tried to do the right thing.
Most disturbing of all was probably the fact that so many Starfleet officers were willing to turn against each other so quickly. That, above all else, might be the worst legacy of this entire affair.
I loved seeing part of the Agamemnon crew make their first offical appearance. That was fun.
An awesome effort!
This is an amazing story on a number of different levels. Even though you've got countless different characters, relationships and motivations, the story remained very focused on Haas and Leyton's coup on Earth throughout with plenty of Terrence Glover/Jasmine drama added into the mix.
The implications of the coup appear even worse in this story than we've seen previously (except of course the death toll, of course). Here, Starfleet comes to the brink of civil war and even at the end of the story the two sides appear bitterly divided. I like the focus on the relationship between Starfleet and the Federation and also how some Starfleet officers see themselves as soldiers first. That's an interesting conflict that I'm sure will come up again, especially after the Dominion War.
The characters were definitely the key to this story. Absolueltey everyone was fascinating in their own way. Even your main villain was an entirely likeable character and a man who just tried to do the right thing.
Most disturbing of all was probably the fact that so many Starfleet officers were willing to turn against each other so quickly. That, above all else, might be the worst legacy of this entire affair.
I loved seeing part of the Agamemnon crew make their first offical appearance. That was fun.
An awesome effort!
Only getting started on the story but considering the tone of your series I am looking forward to how you treat this episode in Starfleet's hiostory and will add a great darkness to it which it warrents. Also intrigued how you will fit in with other UT story expanding on this dark chapter too.
This was an incredibly strong story made even more powerful by the personalities of the antagonists. Haas is an excellent villain--his motives are very understandable, and, to a certain degree, he's right in his fears--it's just that he and the others went about the situation the entirely wrong way. Leyton's coup provides grist for several stories.
Thanks for all the wonderful comments...so far, but I welcome negative comments too. This one was a challenge to write, especially since I was trying to follow in the footsteps of DF's "Messages from Earth", which is my favorite Sutherland story so far. I wanted to add to the coup, but not so much that it wouldn't make sense that the events of the story weren't referenced, or their ramifications felt, on DS9 during its run. Something of a balancing act. I also want to thank everyone who did the Alpha Read for portions of this story, because that helped tremendously.
I'm glad you guys liked Haas. The more I wrote the guy the less I saw him as completely villianous, a bit unhinged as the story progressed, but a guy with good reasons for what he was doing, but like DF said, a bad approach. Justine Haas was originally supposed to be more villianous as well, but her being a real heavy didn't really feel right to me either.
I also wanted to write this story to flesh out Terrence's relationship with Jasmine. I felt I had done a poor job with that in previous stories, showing more of their problems than the things that got them to the altar in the first place. I also wanted to flesh out the DS5 crew a little.
I'm glad you guys liked Haas. The more I wrote the guy the less I saw him as completely villianous, a bit unhinged as the story progressed, but a guy with good reasons for what he was doing, but like DF said, a bad approach. Justine Haas was originally supposed to be more villianous as well, but her being a real heavy didn't really feel right to me either.
I also wanted to write this story to flesh out Terrence's relationship with Jasmine. I felt I had done a poor job with that in previous stories, showing more of their problems than the things that got them to the altar in the first place. I also wanted to flesh out the DS5 crew a little.
Finished this story [I know what took me so long] and was seriously impressed by how first it fitted in with the DS9 stories and how it also dovetailed with DFs Messages From Home. Really good storytelling and juggling act there.
I too liked Haas though I thought the ending was just a tad rushed especially with his daughter Justine showing up etc. up till then he had played it smart and cool. Dragging her in to arrest Glover was not the best way to go but I suppose it shows Haas slowly losing his grip on the situation.
I'd like to echo CeJay and congratulate you on the charcters and how charcter driven this whole story was - despite the huge plot devise of the mutiny you spent time on Glover and Jasmine's relationship. kudos for a good story.
I'm glad you read it and really glad you liked it. About the point you referred to, you made a good guess because that was what I was aiming for. I was trying to show how the antagonist was starting to get antsy and made a bad gamble. I had tried to establish early in the story that he was a bit of a maverick and had an impatient streak, and the action you referenced was an example of that.
I just finished up with this terrific tale. Very well done. You've given us even more depth and perspective on the Federation's thankfully brief civil war that surrounded Leyton's attempted coup.
Haas came across as a misguided patriot, seeking to secure the Federation's safety, though he undermined just that through his actions.
The Glover's were great as usual, and I appreciated the closer look at how Samson Glover works when dropped into the thick of things. And I'm always glad to get greater insight into the inner workings of Terrence Glover and his many relationships.
Fantastic all the way around!
Haas came across as a misguided patriot, seeking to secure the Federation's safety, though he undermined just that through his actions.
The Glover's were great as usual, and I appreciated the closer look at how Samson Glover works when dropped into the thick of things. And I'm always glad to get greater insight into the inner workings of Terrence Glover and his many relationships.
Fantastic all the way around!
