Chekov’s Hair Club For Starfleet Crewmembers

[Spock's Barber]

Chekov’s hair changed during his service aboard the Enterprise from the Shaggy Dog/Beatle type wig to Koenig’s natural combover style. Personally, even though it dates from the 1960’s, I prefer the wig as it seems to make him look a few years younger.

Your thoughts?

 

[Warp Core Breach]

Much like Janice Rand's Beehive Wigaroo™, I always figured there were probably rodents nesting in their respective wigs.

 

[Adventerprise]

Or spiders. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/tressed-to-kill/

I guess Chekov has to leave the fresh outta the Academy look behind sometime. Alternately, there's Yelchin's mop of curls.

 

[Q'OrnamentalDeqor]

The wig is okay, I guess, but I'd much easier date bald men or natural 'dos. Either way and given the goal was to make him look 12 years younger and somehow try to pass as Davy Jones to lure in new viewers, it's just as amazing they'd didn't use the intended as the butt of jokes along with everything else - especially in season 2. And he was in many ways, the least of which being that it's a joke that people would watch Star Trek only if a Davy Jones lookalike contest winner became a bridge crewmember...

But he really looked too much like Davy Jones, just without the accent. Which was actually the intended idea, as if any teen will watch a show only because it has a Davy Jones stunt double in it or why none of the other TV shows were having the 30-somethings donning the same wig to try to look 19 because "Hey Hey We Are The Monkeelookalikes", so it's that much more to one's relief that Chekov also didn't croon out songs like the following:

Take the last train to Minskville
...

or

Catherine'the great lady and she's mine, all mine
And there doesn't seem a way that she won't come and lose my mind
It's too easy humming songs to a lady with furniture
It's been a long time since the party, and the room is in a mess
...

to really rake in the highest number possible until they realized that "Star Trek" ain't "The Monkees", and because TOS was already doing everything else along with often-cringey joke tropes with Chekov - at least until season 3 where he gets to be a character one could begin to take seriously more often, because having this array of characters and if they're all just the butt of jokes, then make a sitcom instead On the plus side and come to think of it thanks to the power of tangents and squirrel (and moose), even Star Trek V the Final Frontier treated Chekov better than a number of the TOS TV episodes...

 

[Just a Bill]

"Hey Hey We Are The Monkeelookalikes" ... Take the last train to Minskville

Now see what you went and made me do?

Take the last ship from Bajor
And I'll meet you on the station
You'll arrive by thirteen hundred
'Cause Quark hacked your reservation

Don't be slow​

Oh, no, no, no​

Oh, no, no, no​

'Cause I'm leavin' thru the wormhole
And I must see you this eve
We'll have one more holosuite romp
Til the Shifter makes us leave

And I must go​

Oh, no, no, no​

Oh, no, no, no​

And I don't know if I'm ever comin' home​

Take the last ship from Bajor
I'll be waiting on the station
We'll have time for Raktajino kisses
And a bit of conversation

Oh, no, no, no​

Oh, no, no, no​

Take the last ship from Bajor
Now I must shut down this link
I can't hear you in this noisy
Promenade, and I can't think

I'm feelin' slow​

Oh, no, no, no​

Oh, no, no, no​

And I don't know if I'm ever comin' home​

Oh

Take the last ship from Bajor
And relax about the station
You'll arrive without inspections
'Cause Quark cleaned your reputation

Don't lie low​

Oh, no, no, no​

Oh, no, no, no​

And I don't know if I'm ever comin' home​

Take the last ship from Bajor
Take the last ship from Bajor
Take the last ship from Bajor
Watch your back with the Major

---

(My deepest apologies for crossing the streams here. I blame Arne Darvin and the Orb of Time.)

 

[Adventerprise]

Maybe they were hoping somebody merely seeing Chekov while browsing channels would make them stop, mistaking him for one of those singers, and by the time they realized it wasn't, they'd be drawn in by the show and watch it regardless. (Rather than knowing he was not one of them from the beginning, but watching because he looked like one of them.)

(BTW, you might like these song rewrites of mine:

Adele's "Hello", a la Nyota Uhura

Hello, we read you Are you in trouble, we heard your call for help, what do you need Sir, that’s all I’m getting There’s a distress call still broadcasting But they’re just not answering Hello, can you hear me? We’re not reading any lifesigns from your ship that we can see You may be...

www.trekbbs.com

https://www.trekbbs.com/threads/boldly-going-to-the-tune-of-hallelujah.314829/)

 

[ZapBrannigan]

Maybe they were hoping somebody merely seeing Chekov while browsing channels would make them stop, mistaking him for one of those singers, and by the time they realized it wasn't, they'd be drawn in by the show and watch it regardless. (Rather than knowing he was not one of them from the beginning, but watching because he looked like one of them.)

I think that's right, even though channel surfing was less of a thing in those days. Most of us didn't have a remote, so we stood at the set laboriously turning a selector knob that went CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK to get from, say channel 4 to channel 7.

And we were lucky to pull in five channels, including the network affiliates, PBS, and a low-rent independent station. One glance at the newspaper listing or TV Guide, and we knew what to watch, no surfing required.

 

[Nude Colonel Stuart]

Now see what you went and made me do?

Take the last ship from Bajor
And I'll meet you on the station
You'll arrive by thirteen hundred
'Cause Quark hacked your reservation

Don't be slow​

Oh, no, no, no​

Oh, no, no, no​

I'm going to buy me a tribble...because I need a friend now.

 

[Greg Cox]

Maybe they were hoping somebody merely seeing Chekov while browsing channels would make them stop, mistaking him for one of those singers, and by the time they realized it wasn't, they'd be drawn in by the show and watch it regardless. (Rather than knowing he was not one of them from the beginning, but watching because he looked like one of them.)

(BTW, you might like these song rewrites of mine:

Adele's "Hello", a la Nyota Uhura

Hello, we read you Are you in trouble, we heard your call for help, what do you need Sir, that’s all I’m getting There’s a distress call still broadcasting But they’re just not answering Hello, can you hear me? We’re not reading any lifesigns from your ship that we can see You may be...

www.trekbbs.com

https://www.trekbbs.com/threads/boldly-going-to-the-tune-of-hallelujah.314829/)

I think it was more that they were hoping he would become a teen idol, make the cover of Tiger Beat, attract an influx of teenboppers who thought he was hip or dreamy or whatever.

Even though Nimoy turned out to be the show's big sex symbol.

 

[SantaTom]

I think it was more that they were hoping he would become a teen idol, make the cover of Tiger Beat, attract an influx of teenboppers who thought he was hip or dreamy or whatever.

Even though Nimoy turned out to be the show's big sex symbol.

Which is interesting because, of course, Chekov was not added until the second season and Spock had already become the breakout character by then.

 

[Greg Cox]

Which is interesting because, of course, Chekov was not added until the second season and Spock had already become the breakout character by then.

Maybe that they thought Nimoy attracted an older crowd, and they were fishing for more teenager viewers?

 

[Maurice]

Maybe that they thought Nimoy attracted an older crowd, and they were fishing for more teenager viewers?

Possibly, as a broader demographic was helpful.

By themselves, however, teens weren't an ideal audience in the eyes of sponsors because they didn't make significant purchases (kids were worth even less). The demographic sweet spot was the 18–34 and 35–49 age groups, particularly women in these age ranges. I suspect Chekov was motivated almost as much by David McCallum's teen heartthrob status as Illya Kuryakin as he was by Davy Jones.

 

[Just a Bill]

So, tragically, I got just enough encouragement on my first space-Davy-Jones single to release a second one. Hope you didn't like Pleasant Valley Sunday, 'cause it's about to get despoiled.

The legendary James T. Kirk
Is tryin' hard to save a ship
He offers "tractor beam" in vain
Because it's just a P.R. trip

The tractor doesn’t come 'til Tuesday (Tuesday)
Ribbons burnin' everywhere
Decks of people that are gonna die
'Cause no one was prepared

See Captain John, his face is long
With no torpedoes on demand
And Captain Jim, he's feelin' grim
He's got a gap in every plan

Torpedoes don't show up 'til Tuesday (Tuesday)
This is getting out of hand
Don't Starfleet realize how dumb this is?
And the crew just can't understand

Now the Nexus rolls​

Something has grabbed my soul​

Feels oddly like pneumonia​

My thoughts are stirred and cast​

To times and people past​

I need to see Antoniaaa-aaa-aaaaaa​

​

chop chop-chop chop, crack crack crack crack,​

cook cook cook cook — space owes me one (Ahh)​

ride ride ride ride, jump jump jump jump,​

think think think think — eh, sounds like fun (Ahh)​

We've got no medical 'til Tuesday (Tuesday)
People hurtin' everywhere
You're all now nurses until Tuesday
You, you! You! Go over there!

The D had poker games on Tuesday (ah, weekly games on Tuesday)
Ferengi Tongo night was Tuesday (confront, evade on Tuesday)
And Odo's crime report each Tuesday (with Kira's help on Tuesday)
NX had movie nights on Tuesday (but, then they moved to Monday)
Don't flip a second card on Tuesday (unless it's dark on Tuesday?)
Beheadings don't take place on Tuesday (no, those we do on We'n'sday)
And A.I. Zora's Taco Tuesday (but, praytell what's a Tuesday?)

 

[Adventerprise]

@Just a Bill you should share these on the Fan fiction forum.

Maybe that they thought Nimoy attracted an older crowd, and they were fishing for more teenager viewers?

Or at the very least, those who were attracted to "adorable and innocent" rather than "dark and brooding".

 

[Just a Bill]

Yeah, maybe that's a more appropriate place.

 

[Phaser Two]

Yeah, maybe that's a more appropriate place.

I don’t think they meant stop posting them here, though, just crossspost over there for wider exposure. I for one am thoroughly enjoying them! As someone who grew to loathe the "cute" writing tropes on DS9—including every mo-foing person on the station suddenly and irrevocably obsessed with raktajino—I thought your parody was magnificent.