Catfishing Conman trying to be my brother in law

[Chancellor M'rek]

This is kinda TLDR but please bear with me. IT’s worth it. This story is nuts!


My sister in law’s getting a divorce and meets a guy through a plenty of fish back in January. Turns out he's from another state but he just happens to be in her small town so they hook up. Says he from Georgia but just happens to be in a small Iowa town “on assignment.”


He tells her he's a private security contractor and pays her 500 dollars a week to hang out with him. She's not really attracted to him but loves the cash. he was living in a Red Roof Inn and the maids kept complaining about all of the guns he left out on the beds. (Allegedly)


About a month later he tells her he's going to go away on business for a few months and says he spent the superbowl guarding the head of Pfizer and his family. But when he gets back he's gonna buy her a house that’s listed for 995,000. . You see, he's gonna go to Papa New Guinea this summer and sign his multi million dollar deal that's going to set him up for the rest of his life and they are going to live happily ever after.


She’s become absolutely insufferable. I’ve had to block her on social media because all she does is retweet pictures of mansions and 5 karat diamonds.


Yesterday he “came back early” from his “assignment.” But now he’s lving in a small town about 70 miles from the small town he was in before. Thursday night I’m meeting this guy. Turns out this will be his and hers first date together without his friend tagging along.


I’ve scoured the internet for any trace of him and have found nothing. I’m 100% certain he’s catfishing her.


What’s the best way to get to the bottom of this? What are the questions I should ask. He told her he was a police officer and that he recently passed a physical fitness test for the DOD but he’s approximately 300 pounds accorindg to my wife who’s met him already. I’m going to find out the name of the city he was worked for and do that checking. Are there any legit websites that can provide me with accurate info once I know the spelling of his name. Which is funny because when they met he went by Scott but turns out his name is Sam.

 

[Plutodawn]

Doesn't sound legit, given no nation wide private armed security licence exists.

In Georgia, a unarmed guard is required to take a 24 hour course, armed guards have to qualify for a Blue Card, that certifies them. It doesn't matter if your a nose picking 18 year old standing in a jewelry store to satisfy the bysiness% insurance rewuirenenrs,, or James Bond, if your not a police officer, operating as a guard, you gotta take the stupid course. They by default have a registry to search somewhere, I just can't find it. Its pretty much available in every other state offering guard cards, proof you can work legally that a employer can print out and reference to.

http://sos.ga.gov/index.php/licensing/plb/42

I am also 99% certain NY state has a armed guard registry, but I think you grasp the idea. Google it, if you gotta, call (provide your social instead of your Business ID if you lack a Georgia or New York business licence, cause individuals higher security all the time).

If you can't find him on any damn registry, ask your sister for a photo of him and her up close, good facial features.

Papua New Guinea is English speaking, was part if Australia (more or less) for a long time, and mansions can he found at decent prices. You can also find cholera. Again, doesn't make him not legit.

Most guards making millions only achieve that status by gaining large contracts, such as providing guards for concerts, opera houses. Jeff Gutierrez, a old boss if mine, went from a usher everyone looked down upon to a millionaire. It can be done.

What he should have in his gear is non-silenced pistol (not pistols, but if he has they, they need be uniformed, in a carrying case each, cleaning kit, papers to sign them out), either ICOMs or Motorola's, and recharging bays for a group. Ear pieces are disposable. Blue tooth and phones for small teams are killing this off.

In many "high end" coporate hotels, staff forces literally anyone not a guest or visitor to go and register in a vehicle maintence bay (from my experience where it generally is) with a print scanning and picture taking machine, gives you a dorky name tag and bar code, you write your own title in "PR Rep, Florist, Mr. Personality"- if he does events all over, he will have pics of him in a suit wearing a lapel, as well as having on at least a few occasions a barcode on him. Look for these on your visit.

Also, know many drugs can be detected with a blacklight.

He is highly, highly unlikely to be making this sort of money for private security without managing a whole crew, and if he is managing a crew and thinks he can just delegate it, he is a damn fool. Damn fools do exist, and it is legal it be in way over your head- but honestly he should know by now.

I'm not liking this discription your giving me of a guy living in a hotel room with guns. I've only brushed up with security armed with automatic rifles once in Hawaii, and it was through my idiot employer, if your a person requiring such men, your either the president, or your a deeply dirty politician or mafios. Guy who runs EBay lives in Hawaii, no guards follow him around. Why? Nobody is looking for him, nobody wants him dead.

Most I've head armed guards making (without owning a business, just contract) with US Airborne Ranger backgrounds is in the Mexican Riveria, a few hundred grand a year. Your not making millions though. Your pretty much expected to have to kill gang or cartel guys though in that sort of job.

They don't offer that sort of money for working legal overseas mercenaries either. Honestly, only way is to work up and gain a reputation, start a company, drum the streets getting contacts and filling them with your own guards. It can be done. I was going to do it for a long time, then said F it.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Apparently the private security contractor claim is a common scam on dating sites:

http://www.cupidscreen.com/is-your-...e-security-or-verification-id-read-this-post/
https://pairedlife.com/dating/Internet-Dating-Scammers-How-To-Identify-Them

My sister says she gets messages from guys claiming to be security contractors on dating sites all the time and avoids them because they all come off sketchy as hell, over and above the being a mercenary thing.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Intervention time.

Go ahead and hire someone to do a full background check if you need to and present her with it. She will hate you but hey, at the end of the day if you don't go all out to keep her from making such a huge mistake you will hate yourself.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

My sister in law’s getting a divorce and meets a guy through a plenty of fish back in January...

Let's assume you mistyped and she is your sister -- at some point you have to let people make their own mistakes and learn from them, particularly if they won't heed repeated warnings and they're old enough to make their own choices in life. I've heard many stories of conmen parting lonely women from their savings -- it also happened to a relative of mine. Every single time, the woman refused to listen to their nearest and dearest telling them that the guy was no good. It seems like they're addicted to the rush of dopamine or oxytocin that they get from a relationship that makes them feel wanted and valued. Even if you had cast-iron proof, it might be in vain.

 

[Jedman67]

you can do a skiptrace on a person using an online service (Accurint/LexisNexis is what i used when i was in debt-collections). You don't need much as long as you have enough "background" info to corroborate - name and telephone number can be enough, even misspelled.

 

[J.T.B.]

He tells her he's a private security contractor and pays her 500 dollars a week to hang out with him. She's not really attracted to him but loves the cash.

That's more of a business transaction than a romantic relationship. If the money keeps coming in, it won't matter if he's honest or what his background is.

 

[Kor]

How about hiring a private investigator to dig up some dirt on this fella?

I have a bias against private security contractors, based on various personal observations and business dealings. I can't fathom why anyone would try to impress others by pretending to be one.

Um, no offense intended to any private security contractors who may be here.

Kor

 

[Jedman67]

Um, no offense intended to any private security contractors who may be here.

There are a couple of private security "contractors" working in my office now as part of a security grant.

They'd be hard pressed to protect a box of donuts, let alone a private building....

 

[psCargile]

So what does your sister-in-law have that he could want?

 

[Jedman67]

So what does your sister-in-law have that he could want?

He's trying to get laid, presumably...

 

[psCargile]

Easier ways than that. If I had thousands of dollars to spend frivolously on women, I'd indulge myself at a certain ranch in Nevada. Why the con if money is not a factor?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

The thing is dude.. your sister is an escort. Whether she would use that word or not. Now some people do marry an escort but it seems more likely he's just paying her until there's some problem (which will probably be you) and then he will pay someone else. Because even though this reads super scammy he IS apparently actually forking out a lot of money every week and if this is catfishing your sister must be a pretty big cat financially to be worth such an investment. If she is very wealthy with easily accessible money maybe this is some long game from hell but this does seem unlikely.

So if it's a scam and the guy is full of shit where is the money coming from?

Is she REALLY getting this money? Do you know for sure?

If she is, escort.

 

[Jedman67]

@teacake accepting "gifts" from her "boyfriend" doesn't make her an escort. Presumably there is some sort of relationship in the picture.
If it's just money for sex, that'd be different but it *appears* to be something more. Perhaps not much more, but something.

 

[psCargile]

The con is the man with little money targets the wealthy, lonely woman, and defrauds her of a good sum of money, and leaves. If the sister-in-law is taking gobs of spending cash from a guy she's not interested in, I would question who is really getting conned in this situation. That's a shitty thing to do.

 

[sojourner]

@teacake accepting "gifts" from her "boyfriend" doesn't make her an escort. Presumably there is some sort of relationship in the picture.
If it's just money for sex, that'd be different but it *appears* to be something more. Perhaps not much more, but something.

Ahem:

pays her 500 dollars a week to hang out with him

That's an escort. Not a hooker, mind you, but it is definitely being a a companion for money.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

He sounds like he's a crap conman never mind a crap security contractor.

How many hours with how good a hooker could he buy for $500? Perhaps he's lonely too and values companionship more than sex. I don't see anything wrong with a woman or man escorting for money provided that they aren't induced into providing sexual services against their will.

 

[Spot261]

This may be somewhat tasteless but it's worth considering the going rate for a professional escort is approaching that figure per hour (I just took the liberty of checking), then if that is the nature of the relationship not only is she being conned, she's being vastly underpaid.

 

[Plutodawn]

I think it is twice that actually for the "good ones" actually, at least one to my taste, if I was to go that route. If your gonna pay for a fantasy girl, better get a awesome memory from it. Cost-Benifit ratio for a fake girlfriend is a joke, but for that Total Recall experience with Jessica Biel..... that's secretly tempting. Think every guy would consider that while denying it to everyone.

And I'm no longer guarding, but it is honest work. Lots of decent people. I was always proactive in scaring people away, only ever got one guy arrested, and that's because he smashed a window, and stared me down after I threw open my store's door and told him to get the hell out of here- and I was honestly excepting him to go, but he didn't, and that kinda put me in a awkward position as I was still moving, albeit slower.... then he snapped out of it once I got real close, turned- ran- and a old hobo smacked him with his walking stick! Guy went half down, struggling on the old man in front of ky store.... I was right there.... ended up just slamming the idiot to the ground.

Only time a person ever was arrested because of me, and I didn't want to do it. Had the damn hobo just let him be, he could of gone off to do whatever tiny Asian guys with track marks all over their arms aspire to do. My stores never had any theft unless mass attacked by throngs coming out of ChinaTown 30+ people at once, stealing. Most of the time it ended in a Adieu, with pleasant conversation and escort, or me growling with my face away from camera.

A person working in security can reduce theft and avoid generational side effects from people being incarcerated, passing on permanent poverty to children and grand children due to lost of later earning ability arising from criminal records. Inner city minorities in their teens and twenties are especially pressured to steal, given a storyline about the 99%, slavery, modern racism, etc. Then when your in your later 30s, 40s, more mature and trusted and offered that job you never though you get.... that mark on your criminal record can ruin your way forward.

Same in guarding people, scaring and intimidating isn't very liberal, but it can be the most humane thing compared to direct challenges and physical actions. In California, guards have shot people for shooting spark plugs at auto shops, and got away with it. I could never do that. Its a absurd cost-benefit to take a life for a hours minimum wage worth of product. Straight up fuck that. But I would beat down or shoot in the leg or arm someone trying to attack or kill someone. If your certainly trying to kill, I would possibly do that if given no choice, especially if a warning shot didn't work.

I'm simultaneously opposed to racial militancy against cops by the left, while hypercritical of cops and use of force. I don't usually see much on the left looking at cops in a positively critical manner. Being the target of racism as security can be very challenging, heck- I used to get chased not in uniform just trying to get to Walmart in Oakland, by the Fruitvale train station. Every time, I was attacked, called a racist cause I'm white. Evasion is better than confrontation, but I can only evade so far from between the bus and train station. I generally favor body cams. I have been on some testosterone fueled attention by cops making scenes where I live though too. I keep in the law. They don't grasp I'm watching for their protection as much as the people they are arresting. Everyone needs to stay good.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

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