Breaking Up and Getting Back Together

[Joe Washington]

This is for those people out there who've had relationships with people they have broken up with only to get back together with them at some point in the past. What was the cause of the breakup? How was life after it? How long was the breakup? And what led to the reconciliation?

 

[Kestra]

Is this for your story?

 

[Joe Washington]

Yes.

 

[Jetfire]

I have never gotten back together with a girl I broke up with...nor would I want to. Reasons for breaking up...mostly they just do stupid things and I get tired of it. Other than that we both figure out the relationship isn't working. I think there was only one girl I wan't to get back together with because I broke up with her to be with someone else and when that fizzled...she had already moved away and years passed before I found her again but she was already involved with someone. The sad thing is she was the one that was perfect for me and I let her go.

 

[Electric Coleslaw]

About 6 months after my divorce I got back with my ex-wife. The sex was awesome but my friends and family wanted to disown me. After awhile I realized why we split in the first place and that was that. But I think the fling did its job at providing me with the secure knowledge that I should have no regrets.

 

[LaxScrutiny]

What happened to me when I was younger, and I've seen it with many people I know, is that when you meet the first time, you are both single and doing interesting things with your time.

You fall in love and start spending your time with each other, and stop doing these interesting things.

You eventually start to grate on each other, find the situation a boring, dead end, and break up.

Lo and behold, 6 weeks later you bump into your ex in some bar and you and they are the interesting, vibrant people you were when you first met. So you date again. And the same thing happens, only quicker. You just have bad chemistry together and stop being the best person you are capable of being. Them too.

Part of all that was also immaturity, the tendancy to fall totally in love when I was 20 or so, and the willingness to give up so much my life to hang out with my GF. I wouldn't live that way now, and the women I meet wouldn't want that either.

 

[SmoothieX]

I've been with the same woman for about 9 years now. The closest we ever came to splitting up was when I had a bad case of gas on a long car ride after eating leftover squash stew.

The squash incident might be a nice addition to your story!

 

[DonIago]

From what experience I have it's just a bad idea. Not only does whatever caused the original break-up tend to recur, but you've also totally destroyed your credibility in the eyes of any witnesses.

My college roommate's GF cheated on him, and I was supportive of him after that even though I'd never cared for her...until he got back together with her. My opinion of him plummeted at that point, and sure enough things fell apart between them later on. No way I was sticking around for him after he'd made the same mistake twice.

 

[Joe Washington]

Has there been any get-togethers that resulted in the relationship being better or stronger than before?

 

[DonIago]

No.

 

[Squiggy]

What was the cause of the breakup?

She was crazy.

How was life after it?

Sucked.

How long was the breakup?

A month.

And what led to the reconciliation?

She was horny.

 

[Joe Washington]

Come on. You're telling me there's no one out there with a successful reconcilitation story that isn't so depressing or crude?

 

[John Picard]

Come on. You're telling me there's no one out there with a successful reconcilitation story that isn't so depressing or crude?

Can't handle reality, eh?

 

[Squiggy]

Come on. You're telling me there's no one out there with a successful reconcilitation story that isn't so depressing or crude?

There's a reason people break up.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

Has there been any get-togethers that resulted in the relationship being better or stronger than before?

My friend and his girlfriend broke up on many occasions (related to him cheating, more or less). Every time they got back together, I thought she was crazy for doing so. This time, it doesn't look like he's going to cheat. I still think she might be crazy, but it's at least not so clear cut. Not sure that's quite a stronger relationship, but it's overcoming the immaturity that led to the breakup to begin with (unless, of course, they break up again, in which case, no, I don't know of any kind of relationship like you're looking for ).

 

[Joe Washington]

Here's an example of the kind of thing I'm looking for: this friend of mine had a niece who had a boyfriend. They broke up when things didn't seem to be working out between them. They didn't see each other for six years until they contacted each other through a mutual friend of theirs on Facebook. Some time after that, they got married.

I don't see their rekindled relationship as the perfect romance straight out of a novel but at least they've matured enought to overcome some of their issues paving the way for the rebirth of their relationship.

That's the kind of success story I'm talking about. I'm not naive. I know that couples break up. A number of those who do get back together after breaking up end up as just miserable as before or more once the old unresolved issues resurface screwing things up once again. I know that not every relationship get to reach a happy ending but that doesn't mean doomed failure is the reality of all relationships. Only a part of it.

 

[DonIago]

I think most of those who break-up don't choose to ever get back together with the person they broke up with. Of the ones who do, I think most of the time things still don't work out. It's quite possible that in the limited slice of society that is the TrekBBS people who are reading this thread there just isn't a scenario that you're looking for.

 

[John Picard]

Here's an example of the kind of thing I'm looking for: this friend of mine had a niece who had a boyfriend. They broke up when things didn't seem to be working out between them. They didn't see each other for six years until they contacted each other through a mutual friend of theirs on Facebook. Some time after that, they got married.

I don't see their rekindled relationship as the perfect romance straight out of a novel but at least they've matured enought to overcome some of their issues paving the way for the rebirth of their relationship.

That's the kind of success story I'm talking about. I'm not naive. I know that couples break up. A number of those who do get back together after breaking up end up as just miserable as before or more once the old unresolved issues resurface screwing things up once again. I know that not every relationship get to reach a happy ending but that doesn't mean doomed failure is the reality of all relationships. Only a part of it.

Sounds like you've been watching too many chick flicks.

 

[TheLonelySquire]

Come on. You're telling me there's no one out there with a successful reconcilitation story that isn't so depressing or crude?

Okay. When I was 21 I started dating a girl for about six months. Then I met another girl and dumped the first one.

I discovered I really liked the other girl several months later when I ran into her at our local bar one night. She was with her friends and I was with mine. "This Old Heart Of Mine" by the Isley Brothers was playing on the juke box and I just had to tell her I was sorry and wanted her back. She calmly poured an entire draft beer down my pants and left me standing there. Right then I KNEW she was the girl for me. I broke up with the other girl that night and dated the one I loved for another 11 years. Almost married her too. To this day we're great friends.

***Side note. The other girl ran away with some cult and learned to shoot guns or something. I wonder how she's doin now.....***