Fair enough, I'll add that to my ever growing British-American dictionary.
Breaking news! Just invented word's lamest joke!
- Thread starter Jayson
- Start date
Not even close! Now i'm going to lay down the brilliant jokes I had to elevate the quality of the thread even more!
Joke:What does Bambi's emasculated dad always say to his wife.
punchline: "Yes Deer"
Joke: Why did the nerd buy a calendar?
punchline:So he could finally get a date!
Joke: Why did "American Idol" allow a farm animal sit on the panel?
punchline: Because it's name was Simon Cow!
Jason
The username 'Jason' was taken when he joined so he went with Jayson.
As a Brit I have always wondered why in the UK full stops are called periods.
Nardpuncher
Rear Admiral
To use the punchline better:
TEACHER: Class, today for show and tell, I want you to do a drawing of something exciting that happened to your family recently.
1 MINUTE LATER
JIMMY: here you go teacher!
TEACHER: Jimmy, what is this? You only drew a little dot on your paper!
JIMMY: It's a period.
TEACHER: And? How is a period so exciting for your family?
JIMMY: Are you kidding?!? My sister told my parents that she missed one of these and they both went absolutely nuts!
TEACHER: Class, today for show and tell, I want you to do a drawing of something exciting that happened to your family recently.
1 MINUTE LATER
JIMMY: here you go teacher!
TEACHER: Jimmy, what is this? You only drew a little dot on your paper!
JIMMY: It's a period.
TEACHER: And? How is a period so exciting for your family?
JIMMY: Are you kidding?!? My sister told my parents that she missed one of these and they both went absolutely nuts!
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said 'I want to be a movie star.' Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, 'What's your name?'
The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood you are going to have to change your name.'
'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.'
'So be it! I guess we will not do business together' the guy said and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed
'Dear Sir, five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood, you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice.'
Dick van Dyke
The agent asked, 'What's your name?'
The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood you are going to have to change your name.'
'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.'
'So be it! I guess we will not do business together' the guy said and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed
'Dear Sir, five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood, you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice.'
Dick van Dyke
ha ha, thats actually pretty good. I'll send it to my girlfriend and see if she appreciates it. Probably not.
Must depend on which county you are in, since full stops have always been called full stops in both the North West and North East. Even wikipedia agrees, at least until someone changes it anyway.
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