Bitterness and Jealousy

[Amaris]

I get jealous for brief periods of time, but they usually pass quickly. It's more of a sense of insecurity for me, than envy or bitterness. Everyone I grew up with and all of my college friends are doctors or lawyers (including my own siblings!). Meanwhile, I'm just now going back to school to get a bachelors in Psychology.

It used to get to me a lot more. And Facebook too, all those bright shiny smiley status updates. But I think it's just about being comfortable in your own skin and secure with your own place in life. In a way, going off the path has been very freeing for me. Even if I were to become a doctor, there would always be more things to compare (what specialty, location of residency, etc.). Same goes with pretty much any profession, I think.

The point is to stop comparing. On the surface, someone might have a lot of things going for them but you don't know what's going on in the background. And focus on obtaining your own goals instead of worrying that others have reached theirs. If others want to play the game, that's fine. You don't need to.

Completely agreed. My own bouts of insecurity are becoming less and less prominent, as like you say, I become comfortable in my own skin. I'm working very hard to stop comparing myself with others. I've always had this low self esteem, and when a classmate or friend is doing much better than I (which at this point is the vast majority), I take it as a direct commentary on my own worth as a person, and I shouldn't.

As for you, all my best to getting that Bachelor's in Psychology! That is an accomplishment!

 

[Rett Mikhal]

Oddly, immediately after reading this thread I gathered with my old high school gang and realized none of them know anything and we actually have little in common. I guess I matured and they stood still. Sure we still quote Family Guy, but they seem interested in nothing in life but guitar and booze.

My college friends and I constantly test each other with questions in history, engineering, science, and mathematics. I tried it with my old friends and they were basically on the 3rd grade level...

It was a little embarrassing. Even more so when you consider these people have had steady jobs for years while I spent a year out of work since acquiring my engineering degree.

 

[Finn]

Yes, many of my old schoomates started families or just have kids (some of them accidently...). Some of them have gone on to a good career. When I first signed on FB, I had every reason to feel that way. It was fall 2007, a very different time in my life, back when I was still in the Laboratory Animal Care field, single and living in Maryland. I wasn't where I wanted to be and I didn't like where I was in life at the time, and saw how many of my old friends got to have families and nice careers of their own.

Boom! Three years has passed. It's a different chapter in my life. There was no way I could have expected to be where I am now, just three years ago. I have teaching experience. I'm engaged to a very beautiful woman, I have a better car, and I've gotten even closer to my family over FB and visits, and I finally have a great career in sight, and a married life within nine months and four days. My FB friend list has changed over the years, added or defriended. But only few of my old schoolmates know I'm in a glorious chaper of my life.

The morale is you can turn it around. Don't let it get to you. You can meet people, or make effort to change careers, oh or be forced to resign like I was

P.S. I just realized I was forced to resign two years ago this sunday Amazing!

 

[Gryffindorian]

Great feedback, everyone, and thank you for sharing your stories and experiences. Congratulations on having achieved your goals and so much more.