Attn Okies: Gary England Drinking Game

[John Picard]

For those of you who don't live in Oklahoma, this time of year is when weather systems converge and we tend to get severe storms ranging from torrential downpours to tornados. A local weatherman, named Gary England, tends to be a bit melodramatic, panicky, and IMHO couldn't predict a sunny day in mid-July. Anyway, in today's online edition of The Daily Oklahoman, someone posted the following comments in response to the article titled Tornado outbreak could be on horizon in Oklahoma

Suffice to say, those comments are spot-on

Gary England Drinking Game Pregame
1. Everyone selects a storm chaser other than Val Caster. Every time Gary talks to your storm chaser, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your storm chaser. Take four drinks if your storm chaser says "tornado on the ground."
2. Everyone selects a county other than Pottawatomie County. Every time Gary mentions your county, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your county. Take four drinks if a tornado touches down in your county.

One drink
1. Take one drink every time Gary says the following: "Hook echo" | "Updraft" | "Metro" | "Doppler radar" | "Wall cloud" | "Ranger 9" | "Underground" | "Mobile home"
2. When Gary gives a list of counties, take one drink for every county in the list.
3. Take one drink every time Gary interrupts a program. Take one drink if Gary says "You're not missing any of [program name]." Take one drink when Gary says "We'll keep you advised."

Two drinks
1. Take two drinks every time Gary says the following: "Baseball-sized hail" | "Waterloo Road" | "Pottawatomie County" | "Deer Creek High School"
2. Take two drinks every time Gary mentions the following towns: Altus | Burns Flat | Dill City | Gotebo | Hydro | Lookeba | Meeker | Mulhall | Oktaha | Olustee | Shattuck | Slaughterville | Tryon | Vici | Waukomis | Wayne (or Payne) | Weleetka | Wetumkah
3. Take two drinks every time Gary talks to Val Caster.

Three drinks

1. Take three drinks if we see footage from Val Caster.
2. Take three drinks if we see footage from Pottawatomie County.
3. Take three drinks if Gary mentions the following: "Immediate tornado precautions" | "National Weather Service" | "Mesocyclone" | "Portable Radio" | "Take shelter" | "Tornado warning in effect until ..."

Four drinks

1. Take four drinks if Ranger 9 must land to refuel.
2. Take four drinks if Gary issues his own tornado warning, not recognized by the NWS or says the following: "Will someone please answer that phone?" | "Do you see power flashes?"
3. Take four drinks if a shirt-less tornado victim is interviewed.

Finish your drink

1. Finish your drink if someone uses the word tornado as a verb or if Gary mentions the nearest cross streets to you.
2. If Gary says "We've lost Val," pour a little out for your homie and finish your drink.

.

 

[Dorian Thompson]

Gary England
He's Our Man
If He Can't Do It
No One Can.....

 

[John Picard]

^^ People who don't live here might not see the humor, but all of the above is so true. I almost lost it with the "shirtless man" interview. They always find the biggest howdy to interview after a storm has struck!

 

[Dorian Thompson]

No lie about that. This outbreak of storms on Monday isn't just us, is it? It's the plains states up to Nebraska, isn't it?

 

[John Picard]

Yepper. It's SPRINGTIME!