Ah, my stupid cupid.

[galleywest]

My funny Valentine. As I'm preparing here in galleywestland for our annual Stupid Cupid Valentine's Day party, I give you all the opportunity to play along at home by captioning these Valentine cards:

And also, the cover of the invite for the party for this year:

 

[Trekker4747]

I've no idea why, but I read the thread title as "Ah, my stupid... er "see you next Tuesday."

Clearly I was wrong, and now I need to question my own sanity.

 

[RJDiogenes]

And you gave me diabetes and I had to have my hands and feet amputated.

Because they're putting in a new gas line and I'm afraid they'll find your body.

I can't wait to pull your little wings off so you'll stay with me forever.

And "Deadman's Curve" is one awesome song.

Now let's flock.

AAAUUGGHHH!!!

 

[Capn Flukie]

 

[Trekker4747]

You love gives me Type-2 Diabeties. Thanks a lot!

No one will be able to find your body when I'm done.

Your love gives me ventricular fibrillation. Thanks, you've now killed me.

I love you so much I want to chug a six and then beat you with with hot-dog shaped universal remote. While wearing my "3" hat and and a sleeve-less undershirt.

A drop of poop to eat the top-coat off your new Mazda-6!

Here I sit all broken hearted, came to piss but also shitted.

 

[Tim]

Hey, kiddo. Long time, no see.

And now I am going into a diabetic coma!

A shallow grave, that is.

And eventually it'll give me a massive stroke. (One for the medical folks.)

As long as you don't leave any skidmarks.

I'm sorry the condom broke.

And also, the cover of the invite for the party for this year:

Is this real turd or simulacrum? And if real, how did you, erm, pose it?

 

[Neroon]

Gotta love sneak peaks.

 

[galleywest]

The cover of the invite is indeed what you think it is, lovingly delivered by my sister's dog, Derringer. It was not manipulated in any way whatsoever. He's just talented.

 

[Tim]

He's just talented.

Years of training, no doubt.

 

[M'Sharak]

The cover of the invite is indeed what you think it is, lovingly delivered by my sister's dog, Derringer. It was not manipulated in any way whatsoever. He's just talented.

But is it art?

 

[galleywest]

The cover of the invite is indeed what you think it is, lovingly delivered by my sister's dog, Derringer. It was not manipulated in any way whatsoever. He's just talented.

But is it art?

YES. (If Matthew Barney can tap dance in a pig outift and call it art, then yes, it's art.)

*sigh* People are dropping like flies from the RSVP list from the party.

 

[Capn Flukie]

I love how diabetes is always the response for the first one.

 

[Neroon]

The cover of the invite is indeed what you think it is, lovingly delivered by my sister's dog, Derringer. It was not manipulated in any way whatsoever. He's just talented.

But is it art?

YES. (If Matthew Barney can tap dance in a pig outift and call it art, then yes, it's art.)

*sigh* People are dropping like flies from the RSVP list from the party.

Mrs. Neroon & I will still be there, and we are bringing guests.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

I love how diabetes is always the response for the first one.

What about Diabeetus?

 

[Trekker4747]

I love how diabetes is always the response for the first one.

What about Diabeetus?

Wilford Brimley is sad.

 

[Tim]

I love how diabetes is always the response for the first one.

What about Diabeetus?

Wilford Brimley is sad.

Check your blood sugar and check it often!

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

I can't compete with RJD's up there. So here are some more I've been saving since last year!

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

That last one's horrible.

 

[Trekker4747]

Toke one on me tonight, baby!

I love you so much, I want you to get an angioplasty!

This is your heart on love. Any questions?

You and me, baby, we're like two frying chicken abortions.

Wait... Are we two girl eggs? Is this card promoting lesbianism?

Your love to me is like an anemometer inexplicably located in a sealed jar inside my helmet.

I love you as much as I love butchered baby cows!

 

[Tim]

That last one's horrible.

Especially since the grommet looks like a bolt gun hole given at the slaughterhouse.