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2010 Bulwer-Lytton results are in!

gturner

Admiral
The winner is Molly Ringle from Seattle.

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.

The Science Fiction winner is Bryan Olive from Tustin, CA

t'Bleen and Golxxm squelched their way romantically along the slough beach beneath the three Sommodian moons, their eye-stalks occasionally touching, and tenderly belched sweet nothings like, "I don't think I've ever had such a charming evening," and, "Say, would you like to gnaw that hunk of suppurating tissue off my dorsal appendage—it really itches."

Full contest results
 
Most of those are pretty good, but the hands-down winner for me is from Historical Fiction:

The band of pre-humans departed the cave in search of solace from the omnipresent dangers found there knowing that it meant survival of their kind, though they probably didn't understand it intellectually since their brains were so small and undeveloped but fundamentally they understood that they didn't like big animals that ate them.*

Mike Mayfield
Austin,TX

That shit is brilliant :guffaw:
 
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