TNG Caption This! #356: Time Capsule: Part 7

TFWT!




Riker: The key to making it in Star Fleet is to be alert, to be constantly on your toes ready to spring into action at a seconds notice, to spot the small clues that can lead to the bigger picture. Once you've learnt that you'll be ready for promotion Ensign.

Ensign?





Data: That is the last time I order out for prostitutes.





Dorn: YOU'RE A TERRIBLE DIRECTOR!!!!!!!!

McFadden: Now I know what William Shatner had to put up with on V...




Picard:... and then all her clothes fell off.




Data: How much must we consume before these captions become funny?

Worf: Six bottles.

 

CRUSHER: Stop moving Worf, I must tie this to extract your goddamn tooth.

 

Admiral's Log: Chairs with higher backs needs to be ordered for the Enterprise, especially Jean-Luc's ready room. I'm growing tired of hearing Baby Blues Billy's pants shuffling as he does the Riker, whenever I talk with Jean-Luc.

 

Nechayev: Jean-Luc, you're talking to Riker again, aren't you?

Picard: That's correct, Admiral. How did you know?

Nechayev: Because stinknuts propagate across subspace. Riker, I know you're there, may I suggest TWO showers a day?

 

PICARD: Ever see an old 2D called "The Wicked Lady"?

RIKER: No. Why?

PICARD: No reason.

 

Necheyev: Captain Picard, I've asked Commander Riker to join this meeting to confirm whether you are, in fact, wearing pants. Commander?

Riker: The French flag is flying free in the breeze, Admiral.

Picard: Run silent, run deep, Little Commodore!

Riker: And that's the other thing, Admiral....

 

Thanks for the KBLA LH!!!




Worf: "Impressive."

Troi: "Not to worry, it's perfectly natural Data."

LaForge: "I didn't know androids were capable of 'morning wood'."





Picard: "Of course Admiral, we'll be happy to make a chair available at the poker game when you arrive."

Riker thinking: "Son of a...you didn't."

 

Ha ha! these are great! more!!!

 

PICARD: Why do they manage to get abducted every time they go to a seminar or a symposium?
RIKER: Frankly sir, I didn't even noticed she has been not there for the last two weeks.

 

Second Officer's Log: My 47th attempt at having dreams about Tasha has failed. Those dreams with Geordi, Counselor Troi and Worf would be described by most Humans as very disturbing.

 

DATA: I did not steal a Mondrian, I painted this myself.
GEORDI: Data, lying is not a good solution.

 

DATA: I can explain...

 

Worf: Data, you are under arrest. There are no tags on that mattress!

 

Worf: "I am sorry, Commander, but the Mentorans are demanding we extradite you to their planet to stand trial for having sex with a minor."
Data: "What!"
LaForge: "Apparently, you got 'jiggy' with Jenna D'Sora while you two were on leave there last month."
Data: "But...she's not even a Mentoran citizen!"
Troi: "Doesn't matter according to their law."
Data: "But...Jenna D'Sora has got to be pushing thirty! How can she be a minor?"
Worf: "The age of consent on Mentora III is thirty."
Data: "But...I am a machine! What is the Mentoran age of consent for using a sex toy?"
Troi: "...That just might work!"

 

Data: Okay, I'll turn off my masturbation subroutine!

Worf: Is he going to say that every time we use this picture?

 

Data: I can explain. Spot needed a scratching post, and things went from there.
Geordi<ripping off visor>: I've seen enough.

 

The secret behind the holodeck's operation? Copius amounts of booze.

 

I'm not in charge of this contest-but I'd say we have a winnah! Truly inspired!

 

DATA: "In what culture do they serve Miller High Life in these kind of glasses?"

Worf: "It's the champagne of beers-shut up and drink."

 

New Contest!