http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Health/story?id=7880954&page=1 I don't think I could do this. I respect the family for taking care of her, but I don't think I could handle a literal perpetual child.
I think it's one of those things that's difficult, but you do it because she's still your child, and a person that you can't just abandon. Yes, I know people can and do abandon their children, but many parents rise to the occasion and do their best like the family here.
The fortitude of any parent who raises a disabled or badly ill child constantly amazes and humbles me. Knowing how I feel about my kids I know I would try but the emotional strength required must be phenomenal and I have moments of not coping with my two. I am eternally grateful that I don't have to find out how I would cope with a disability.
And she's 16?! Wow...My heroes are 1) People with disabilities who can overcome them and 2) the families of people with disabilities who are mature enough to accept it without going insane. My kudos to her family for coping so well with this.
I'd imagine so, in a sense. The article did say she has the bones of a 10 year old. I'm going to guess that there is something else that isn't "toddler" in her body.
Well, that's just uncanny. That's an amazing family with an amazing attitude; they're not only happy with her the way she is, but are hopeful that she can help others by what is learned from her. More is always learned from abnormal cases than normal ones. Not only does this kid not age normally, but she apparently has had the ability to bounce back from strokes, brain tumors and other conditions. If they can figure her out, great advances in medicine could be made. It's also interesting to speculate what might happen to her in the future. Will she live a normal lifetime? Longer? Could she be immortal? What if she someday suddenly starts to age normally?
This isn't directed at anyone personally in this thread; it's a general statement. Having a special needs child myself and having spoken with a lot of other parents of special needs kids, I can safely say that one thing that drives parents of special needs kids nuts is people who say "I couldn't do that" or "Wow, you must be a saint/angel/etc". Why? Because it comes across as being patronising, even though it most likely isn't intended to be. I bet that those of you who think you couldn't cope with a special needs child could do just that, because a lot of us thought the same thing until our special needs children came along. You adjust and do the best you can, sometimes with the help of a glass or two of chardonnay. It can be hard, but then my neurotypical kids can drive me as batshit crazy as my autistic son can.
THANK YOU. This is exactly what I was going to say. I don't have any children at all, but some of the statements I was reading ALMOST have the sense that they would give up on a special needs child. But if you truly love your child, then rising to the challenges that child provides, whether healthy or having any medical conditions, is absolutely a must. You take on that obligation as soon as you decide to have unprotected sex--that you will take responsibility and put the needs of your child ahead of your own. It doesn't matter how your child is born. The obligation stands--period. And frankly, to expect anything less is degrading and ranks the worth of children according to their physical condition. If someone doesn't think you could care for a special-needs child, then don't have CHILDREN. Of ANY kind. Because any child, even if you adopt and they are healthy at the time of adoption, CAN become very seriously sick or injured. The risk is always there, and if you're not ready to incur it, then you're not mature enough to be a parent.
I have no plans to have children, and I can safely say that it wouldn't happen on accident with me either.
And that's good that you know yourself well enough to recognize that. But when people DON'T recognize it, and their acceptance of children is conditional...that just crawls all over me.
I know how you feel. I have cerebral palsy and this affected my relationship with both parents. My dad couldn't take it and our relationship has always been strained. My mom (along with her parents) jumped right in and made sure I had everything I needed to have a normal childhood (at least, as normal as was possible for me), and we were close right up til the day she died. As I grew older, I sometimes felt she was overprotective and smothering, and this sometimes led to friction between us, but as I matured, I realized she did what she did out of love for me. However, having been a disabled child has made me never want to have kids of my own, which, has led to several arguments with my girlfriend who does want to have kids. She keeps telling me I'd make a great dad, but having lived through a disability, I simply wouldn't want to wish that life on a kid. And also, I'm afraid, that BECAUSE of my disability, I won't be able to put in the time required to raise a kid. I just don't have the stamina.
Regarding being a parent with a disability, I think there's TONS of resources out there on the Internet and elsewhere with good info on that. I dunno for sure, but I'd have to think that being a kid with a disability vs. being a kid with a disability whose parents are subpar at parenting would be two different experiences. Just my totally uninformed take, though--worth exactly what you paid for it. That sucks about your dad...totally inexcusable, in my book. As for your mom--also not right but at least I think MAYBE she was overcompensating, if your dad was not being the parent he should be.