TNG Caption This #156 - "Safety First"

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Amanda: I don't care what you say, I want you to take me out for a drive in movie, a burger and fries damn it!

 

Amanda giving the silent EVIIL WIFE look

LaForge: I'm Sorry Amanda but you don't need to act like a housewife to get back for missing our date!





Data: Fascinating your skin is smooth right down to your ass.

Woman: You say the nicest things.

 

Amanda: You know what your problem is.
Geordi: I'm sure I'm about to.
Amanda: You're VISOR is really a gold-plated bitch magnet.
Geordi: I know.
Amanda: You'll never get anywhere with women.
Geordi: Even Stevie Wonder could see that.
Amanda: Hate to break it to ya. <flashes away>
Geordi: I already knew that!




Data: I do not know why all the chemical nutrient solution is leaving my cranial area.

 

Jessica Simpson as Amanda Rogers...

In a role that will NOT surprise you.

 

Geordi: "You actually turned every tuna into a chicken just so 'Chicken of the Sea' would make more sense to you?"

 

"So, Commander...

Seen that new movie ye...


OH.


Never mind."

 

Amanda: "Don't drop your fuckin' padd again, asshole."

 

"Nice move, Geordi.

Drop your PADD then use the excuse to look up my skirt.

HELLO! I have slacks on underneath, Stevie Wonder!!"

 

LAFORGE: I see you don't shave your legs.

AMANDA: Dial it back a notch Visor Lad.

 

GEORDI:"Nice dress.

Who's your tailor? The Sham-Wow Corporation?"

 

Girl: So. You never called.
Geordi: Oh, hey. Fancy running into you here.
Girl: This is my ship you're fixing



When Data tries to activate his Charm program a falty pathway accidentally activates the rarely used peodophile subdirective.

 

Girl: How come you get the cool uniform and I get a leotard and a towel with a neckhole cut in it?
Geordi: Well I am a main character. Look on the bright side, you don't have to walk around with a headband glued to your face all day.

Director: Umm, guy's the camera's still rolling and Gene will be seeing all this later.



Some celebrities go to great lengths to make sure they are recognised when they appear on 'Dancing with the Stars'.

 

AMANDA:"Do I know Fred Savage?

Not biblically."




"Computer...save Holoprogram FEY PUTZ WITH LAME MOVES 1 from this time index and end."

 

Geordi: Well whatever, we've gone 364 days without a single barrel falling on a commander. One more day and I win the hot tub.




Dancer: Don't you find the mating of an android and a hologram to be...pointless?
Data: Whatever, just give me your shoes when you're finished.

 

Geordi: "LaForge to Barclay...Can you make an adjustment to character John Brakes in my program called BigGeordiOne. Give him a potbelly".

Barclay: "Yes, Sir. What is this all about?"

 

AMANDA:"Is it true your VISOR can see through clothing?"

GEORDI:"No...of course not. That's just a silly rumor.

By the way...nice Hello Kitty panties."

 

Brent Spiner was a cocky sunnuvabitch.

Two free lessons at the Burbank Arthur Murray Dance Studios and he thought he could mack like an albino Fred Astaire.

 

"This is Data, and he is livin' large thanks to Andriod Enzyte. All his crew knows he is fully functional."

 

LaForge: "What the...? Oh my God..."

Amanda: "That's right, I've given you a really bad case of the blistering shits AND I've sealed your asshole shut with some sweet Q power.

LaForge: "Oh my GOD!"

Amanda: "Let's see you engineer your way out of that in the next 48 minutes."

 

pause

Amanda: "Eww! What the! In my bra? That's disgusting!"

LaForge: "Yeah, you may have the power of a Q, but I can still fine tune remote control a shuttle transporter with a PADD to beam shit out of my colon and into your cleavage."