The Magicks of Megas-Tu Line-by-Line

LUCIEN: Ah, humans. Lovely primitive humans. Can't you do anything right?

 

Kirk: Please.

 

LUCIEN: Of course, friend. Of course. Rhadamanthus!

 

The Enterprise is now in normal looking space above a pink and red striped planet.

Lucien (continued): Everything is working, my friends.
Spock: It cannot. It is not logical.

 

MCCOY: Look around you, Spock. Everything is working.

 

Lucien: Welcome! I knew eventually humans would come searching for me.

 

LUCIEN: Call me Lucien! Call me friend! Never could I abandon those who come to rollick with me. But not up here. No, no. Let us leave this vessel and go where true delights lie!
(Lucien, Kirk, Spock and McCoy vanish, leaving Uhura, Sulu and Arex open-mouthed)

 

The four appear inside the orange chaos of the centre of the galaxy

Kirk: Bones, you all right?

 

MCCOY: Nothing wrong, Jim, but a face full of dust. But if I had a medical tricorder (opens eyes) Jim, look at yourself.
(Everything is distorted and swirling, including the people)

 

LUCIEN: Very well, Captain. I'd forgotten how much bodily integrity means to you humans. This isn't easy, you know, holding us together like this. It's not even natural.

 

MCCOY: Being in one piece is very natural where we come from.

 

Bones: Probably because you're not very natural to begin with, Spock.

 

KIRK: Look, Lucien, or whatever you want to call yourself, I want to know why you brought us here.

 

(Lucien waves his hand, Kirk somersaults, and McCoy and Spock turn into a young Lucien and a spinning top)
LUCIEN: Children will play.
(Then they are back to normal, in a woodland glade)
LUCIEN: Is this better, my friends? I've translated my world into symbols your minds can understand. Welcome, my friends, to Megas-Tu.

 

Kirk: And just exactly what is Megas-Tu?

 

LUCIEN: A world, Captain James Kirk, that operates by rules quite different from those in your universe.