Make up an episode line-by-line!

Here are the only rules:

1. No primary, secondary, or recurring characters can be killed (no fair taking them away).
2. No spoilers.
3. Attention to continuity is not required!
4. The less sense it makes, the better.
5. One line at a time!

Kicking it off...

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Tilly: Do I have to get up?

 

Michael: Only if you want that promotion someday.

 

Tilly: I still have awhile left before that day.

 

Saru: Moooooo

 

Lorca: What's that Kelpian for?

 

Georgiou: That Kelpien is for dinner!

 

Lorca: I'll ask Stamets to cut up some mushrooms to go with it. I've got the A-1 sauce.

 

L'rell: Well I had lunch but I seemed to have missed dessert.

 

Tilly: Eating Kelpian? That's so weird!

 

Saru: *nervously* Moooooo…?

 

Burnham: I'm going to pass. It didn't agree with me last time.

 

Tilly: Tee hee. Silly me, I accidentally swapped out Mr. Saru's Universal Translator for a cowbell. Here you go... sorry!

 

Saru: I don't find any of this amusing at all!

 

Admiral The Bruce Dickinson: Needs more cowbell!

 

Lorca: Captain's Log Stardate 6923.1 We are on a covert mission to infiltrate the Klingon Trouser Manufacturing Facility on Knicker 9 Using the recently patented Spore Drive® we hope to catch the Klingons with their pants down.

 

L'Rell: I won't tell you anything!

 

Lorca: How did you get in here?

 

L'Rell: Voq! Vorch-dog-baghk, Kahless!

English Translation: Voq! All hail, Kahless!

 

Klingon Richard Dawkins: Kahless doesn't exist! We evolved from weird crab-ape things as proven by TNG Season 7 episode 'Genesis'

 

Suddenly for no reason at all Klingon Dick Dawkins head falls off.

Lorca: Strewth!