So, you've probably seen (spoiler) the scene where she heals herself/keeps herself alive and then "flies" back to the ship with the Force. I'll allow the "not suffering horrible decompression effects" because they would have looked grotesque as an acceptable break from realism, but a number of commenters on the internet have said there was no hint of Leia having powers, and the whole scene looked weird. So, first I would have had a scene in a quiet moment (maybe also make it so the First Order Hyperspace Tracking wasn't so accurate initially? Maybe needing a week to pinpoint their location? Then progressively getting faster, to days then hours then minutes?). Then later I would have changed the details of her force power scene. First Scene: Lieutenant Connix headed down to the cargo bay. She'd been told that Poe was there, and she needed to hand him a report. She stepped through the doors, and as the closed behind her, she looked in puzzlement at the scene before her. In the middle of the mostly empty cargo bay, in-between some of the waist-high boxes dotted around the bay, stood Leia in her dress. For some reason, she had a pilot helmet on with the blast shield down? Poe stood a fair distance in front of Leia, holding a baseball. "You ready, General?" he asked Leia. She smirks and confidently replies "Bring it, flyboy!" Silently, Poe moves a few steps sideways - and Connix gasps in shock as he hurls the ball at Leia's head! But she needn't have worried. Almost immediately, Leia holds up a hand, two fingers pointing up. The ball stops in the air a few feet from Leia's head. Connix breathes a sigh of relief as Poe grins and says "Nice catch General!". Leia responds "All too easy." She then asks "What's Lieutenant Connix got for you?" Connix reacts in surprise as she hands the report to Poe, wondering how can Leia tell it's her with the blast shield down? Poe responds "Just a report." He flicks through the pages and then says out loud "Hmm....power converters?" Connix reacts with confusion - the words "power converters" were not in her report? She barely has enough time to complete that thought when SUDDENLY 4 crew members spring out of their hiding places in the boxes around (both in front and behind) Leia and each hurls a baseball at her! Leia gasps, drops the baseball she was holding in the air and puts both of her hands up, both with two fingers pointing up. She manages to stop all 4 in the air, and says "Close but no cigar, flyboy". Poe congratulates her "Well done General! Though I did manage to make you drop one." Smiling, Leia responds "Oh really? Look down." Poe does, and realises she's balancing that first baseball on her outstretched foot. She force-throws the balls back to their throwers, and then lifts the blast shield, happy at her performance. Connix smiles and puts her hand on a box, not realising it has a sharp edged burr on it. "Owww!" she gasps as she sustains a cut on her hand. "You ok?" asks Poe. "Argh...yes, just a small cut, I'll get it fixed in Sickbay" she replies. "Here, alllow me", says Leia, who takes the Lieutenant's hand into hers and concentrates. Connix reacts in mild surprise as the pain disappears, and then great surprise as the cut disappears, fully healed! She remarks "I didn't know you had Force powers?". Poe pipes in "Actually, when and who taught you those?" Leia smiles and says "My father, recently". Connix and Poe looks confused "Your....father?". Leia just smiles back at them mysteriously. (Note: the implication I'm going for is Anakin either taught her via a dream or came to her as a Force Ghost. Also, that Leia has Force pull/push, Force Sense and Force Heal). Second Scene: Everything seems to erupt in flames as the bridge is hit. Leia's entire world goes orange, then black. At the nearby damage control station, the crew assess the damage. "Bridge has taken a direct hit!" "Shutters and forcefields are in place, but we're still venting atmosphere!" "Bridge gravity is offline! Bridge life support is damaged! Air pressure and oxygen levels are critical and falling!" The officer in charge orders "Damage control team to the bridge!". The team responds with bad news "We can't get in! The bridge-side airlock door is jammed!" Debris is preventing the door from closing fully. "The computer thinks the bridge is open to space! It'll take us 5 minutes to override the safety protocols!". The officer reacts in alarm "They don't HAVE 5 minutes!". Leia and the bridge crew who haven't been sucked into space float lifelessly in the wreckage of the bridge. Frost beings to form of her face, on top of the cuts she has sustained. The damage control team can only look on helplessly in horror. Suddenly, the frost disappears and the cuts start healing! Eyes still closed, her face grimaces with effort. She puts herself standing on the deck, force-clears the debris from the airlock door, and starts immediately Force-sensing and Force-moving the other unconscious bridge crew still floating around her into the airlock, all while trying to use the Force to heal herself and keep herself alive. All survivors rescued, she hurls or Force-hurls herself into the airlock, and Force-presses the airlock door close button, before collapsing on the floor, utterly spent. The damage control team rush into the airlock as it pressurizes, desperately trying to save as many survivors as possible.
I haven't seen the original (sacreledge? I've never been a big Star Wars fan). So I can't comment on your specific changing of the scene. BUT I like your imagination and willingness to play with and explore how to change something that didn't set right with you about the scene. Your treatment/outline/paraphrase shows you can look at a scene from a big picture perspective and work down to the details. A useful skill to have when you are revising first drafts of your own work. Keep writing!
Having seen the film - underwhelming though it was - I'd say you have the right idea. This way, it's clear that Leia is able to do some remarkable things, and the situation on the bridge (instead of way out in space) is more believable.
Also, what Rose does in the movie on Crait makes no sense (especially if you've seen either the How it should have ended HISHE video or the Nostalgia critic review video). If the writer wanted this to make sense, she should have nudged Finn's craft out of the way, and rammed her own craft (and herself) into the Battering Ram Laser (or whatever it was). She would have had to have recorded the "we will win not by killing/destroying the enemy but by saving the ones/things we love" (I can't remember the exact quote) and then sent that to Finn (which maybe is a plot hole because when would she have had the time to record that?) but this would have worked a lot better than the scene in the movie (although it also means that would have been 3 females (others being Paige Tico and Vice-Admiral Holdo) in a single movie who sacrificed themselves for a greater good - although I doubt Kathleen Kennedy would have considered that a problem). Also, it would allow Finn to fly his damaged craft back to base.