DS9 CapCon 158: It's a Wonderful Deep Space Nine

Welcome back, everyone! This contest's title isinspired by the DS9 fan vid from last year, "Wonderful Deep Space Nine". First up, last "week's" winners!

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Leviathan's "Serious Business"

Odo: He tried to board a spacecraft with more than 250mL of fluids!

Santa Garrus' "But the Music was Awesome!"

Odo: 20th Century Earth?! Next time, I do the vacation planning.

Wintermute's "Good for the Goose, Good for the Gander"

Odo: Stop molesting me and scanning my brain!
Lwaxana: RANDOM SEARCH SIR. YOUR FULL COOPERATION IS APPRECIATED
Goldshirt: She's got you there, Security man.

JirinPanthosa's "Swagger"

WOMAN IN BLUE: God damn...he may not have perfected faces, but he's sure perfected THAT!

Finally, and doubling as the EC:

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Leviathan's "Hidden in Plain Sight"

Kira: ...and ANOTHER sighting of that historical assassin 'Colonel West'. This one came from Sisko's father.

And now, this week's run!

 

Quark: Natima! Baby! How you been?
Natima: *SMACK*
Quark, from floor: That good, eh?


Odo: I thought the custom on having a baby was to pass out cigars, chief, not beer.
O'Brien: The whole station's a non-smoking zone.


Kira's receipe for egg nog was a little elaborate.



O'Brien: I don't CARE if there's mistletoe, Quark.

 

Quark's 'Slap a Ferengi for two slips' promotion was even more successful than he had hoped.



ODO: Imperial IPA aged in Klingon blood wine barrels? And you say humanoids pay ten times more for this?



SISKO: Quick, snap a picture of us together while we're briefly on the same side! He could turn evil again any minute.



DUKAT: So you're dating Worf, huh? Yeah, I get it. Soft skinned woman, bumpy foreheaded powerful male. Worf is a lucky man.



WOMAN: You know humans have this thing they do with a pyramid of champagne glasses.
KIRA: Too hard.



Keiko quickly regretted agreeing to a Ferengi three way.

 

NATIMA: And that's for the jacket!

 

Natima: You, sir, have insulted my honour. I demand satisfaction!


Alien In Background: Hi mom!

 

Thanks for the EC and Win!



Kira: ...now we mix in Vodka, Peach Schnapps, and Odo...to make a 'Changeling on the Beach'

 

Dukat: So...any Dax hosts ever been killed by a Cardassian? Just curious, not planning anything....

 

Odo (to liquid in bottle): Hi mom!

 

Rarely seen alternate ending to "The Way of the Warrior":

Sisko attempts to sell Dukat back to the Klingons for 600 quatloos.

 

They do not accept.

 

KIRK: Excuse me, Captain. Here's tomorrow's duty roster for your approval.
SISKO: Lieutenant, er, Lieutenant?
KIRK: James Kirk, sir. I've been on temporary assignment here. Before I leave, I just want to say it's been an honor serving with you, sir.
SISKO: All right, Lieutenant. Carry on.
KIRK: Thank you, sir.

 

Thanks for the win!



Natima: Grilka said you'd like this.



Quark: Now, Rom!

(Rom takes photo)

Quark: Ah-ha! Odo drinking on duty! Perfect extortion material.



Sisko: Dax, get a message to Major Kira. Tell her we've made the best arrest in Bajoran history.



Dax: Have you ever considered putting a baseball on this desk?



Kira: And now, by the blessed word of the Prophets, LET'S ALL GET DRUNK AND PLAY PING PONG!

 

Sisko: "Good, I'm glad my little talk about taking our jobs more seriously got through to all of you. What do you have there, ensign?"

Ensign: "Duty roster."

 

Dukat: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
Dax: Mm-hmm.
Dukat: So say goodnight to the bad guy!
Dax: I realize you're in Federation custody, Dukat, but can't you find some more productive way of spending your time then watching Earth's gangster movies?
Dukat: Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
Dax: *sigh*


Natima, a second later: Sorry. Mosquito on your face.

 

Dukat: (laughs) No, seriously. Leia did WHAT in space?



Natima: TAG! You're it!

 

Kira cheekily kept ignoring Sisko's memo's that Starfleet wouldn't put up with her illegal distilleries on DS9, no matter how many religious festivals she invented as an excuse or 'but I've had a difficult childhood in the Bajoran resistance movement so cut me some slack!' stories she came up with.

Quark: OK, OK, but only if you kiss me afterwards, like Grilka!

 

Natima: I came out of hiding, risked death at the hands of Dominion, travelled hundreds of light years...just to punish you for 'Profit and Lace'. NEVER. AGAIN.

 

How Sparkly Vampires Are MAde...



Girl: "Hey, wanna beam him out into space?"

Kira: "DO I??? LOL!"

 

Quark: This jacket? I got it from a Terran antique dealer. He said it was the upholstery off of a '75 Pacer.

 

T4TW Smellincoffee!

Natima: The Partridge Family called - they want their bus paint back!


Odo: I'm going home to literally crawl into this bottle.
Quark: And I thought Rom was an idiot.