I think I know how they should have done "Rascals."

I was thinking about this episode and I think we all agree it is really bad. I think I know what they should have did, instead. They should have flipped the kid plot. Instead of kids playing the adults the adults should have played themselves as kids. It would be fun to see what Picard was like as a kid or Ro or Guinan before she was wise. I would have switched Keiko out though with another character. Maybe Worf or Geordi. At some point you might even have the kids having to pretend to be their adult selves because of the plot. I should note I would have ditched the Ferengi and just make it a character oriented episode and if they need some kind of danger or ticking clock just say that if they don't find a cure soon they will stay as kids and will basically have to grow up again but only they will be doing it in adult bodies so their "second life" would be doomed for complications and sadness.

Jason

 

Nah.

"We" never all agree.

 

"We all agree"? Huh, I've always liked "Rascals" as a slice of fun silliness.

 

I'd agree with that

 

I enjoy "Rascals" except for the horrifying ease with which the Ferengi seize the E-D.

...which in retrospect feels like a set-up for how easily the E-D is destroyed in GEN, so at least TPTB were consistent?

 

Sorry, I am in the pro-Rascals camp. Those child actors were pretty good, and the writing was excellent. ferengi B-plot is weak, but it’s just an excuse anyway.

 

I think the best way to do that episode would have been to shelve the idea and pick something else

 

The "kid shows" TNG had did seem to be more about giving the writers a chance to function within their comfort zone, where they didn't have to think and could just go on autopilot, as opposed to conforming to Gene Roddenberry's edict that the main cast doesn't hate on eachother, ever. "Ehhhhh ... it's too hard to write ... ehhh ... Gene Roddenberry's way ... EHHHHHhhhhhhh ... !!!!"

 

How they should have done Rascals:

Take the piece of paper with the pitch written on it.

Fold it neatly.

Place it in the trash.

Film something else.

 

For Rascals to even have a mild chance of working they would have had to got rid of the Ferengi takeover plot.

Seriously, they surrender the whole ship because they put one phaser on one officer? In season one they set the self destruct sequence when they didn't even know the bynars motives yet. In multiple other cases they've shown the ability to detect and disable weapons at will. That you can explain away, but the idea that they risked giving the Ferengi their flagship which they would definitely sell to the highest bidder that would definitely be one of their enemies is absurd.

I like the way Stargate handled 'Kid self' more than the way Rascals handled it. Based on our understanding of Starfleet, it shouldn't have been weird for the crew to take orders from a kid knowing he was Picard. Would they act the same way if they came across a race whose adults looked like our children? Very unprofessional. In Stargate, it was weird at first, but when O'Neall started talking like O'Neall he had their respect immediately.

I think they could have made a decent episode with this premise, but everything about the execution was terrible. The ridiculous ease of which they surrendered and the unprofessional attitude toward kid Picard were just the tip of the iceberg.

 

The capture of the Enterprise is extraordinarily silly, but man, did I love this episode as a kid. The child Picard's "I'm Captain P-card!" pronunciation had us in stitches every time.

But I think the idea in the original post, seeing the adult actors playing their characters as children, would have been interesting to see, especially Steward and Goldberg.

Not at the expense of seeing the kids retake the ship with Alexander's inexplicably huge remote control toy, though. That was a hoot.

 

Yeah, the retaking the ship part was a tad silly but at least that part of the episode worked.

And I like the scene at the end, Ro enjoying her chance to be a kid.

But the show also had that incredibly uncomfortable scene with Miles and Keiko.

 

I liked the scene between Miles and Keiko. It's one of those weird things things that you can only see on a sci-fi show and I am curious as to how someone would deal with that if it happened to them.

Jason

 

A great way to do this episode?

After the staff reads the script, they say: "...no... Got any better scripts?"

 

Perhaps the response was, "....well....we could do another clip show..."

 

That might have been better than Bird-of-Prey overpowering the Enterprise.

 

Maybe, but not better than, "He's my number one dad."

 

It would've been better if the Ferengi takeover was somehow tied into their transformation into children (maybe the whole crew could transform into children?). As such, it makes it look like as soon as Picard relieves himself of duty, for any reason, the Enterprise-D is easy pickings and Commander Riker is a terrible captain. Which is not the case elsewhere in the series.

They should've just gone the Excalbian/"Allegiance"/Nagilum route and had some super-powered creature(s) (maybe even just Q messing around) show up and transform some of the crew into children for the giggles. Then it could be all about the crew adjusting and then trying to convince the figures to end their experiment or that being a child shouldn't be a repeatable experience.

 

Picard: "Computer, End Program and Delete...including all backups"
Riker: "Wow, that was a stupid hijacking training simulation...what the hell was Starfleet thinking?!"
Picard: "Indeed. Remember the first Ferrengi encounter training simulation? The one where they had fur coats and energy whips? The programmers need to get out more"

 

"Good evening, I'm Jonathan Frakes. What you just witnessed was an exercise in frivolity. A television episode written purely for financial gain and to pad out the season after running out of ideas. But, is there a nugget of truth to be found? Did Captain Picard and the others actually turn into children and face off against Ferengi, or is it all just a pint-sized lie? A children's tale of sorts?"

 

It sounds like you're pitching "Big" or "13 Going On 30" or what I like to call the "Freaky Friday". For TNG? I'll pass

Tom Hanks is about the only actor to ever make the big kid gag work. I shudder to think how it might go with some of these actors

 

Mmmmmmm, me not so much or at all.