Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #531: Wait, have they used that set before?

Hello everyone!




First up to the plate, we have the "Vulcan Technology" Award, going to Laura Cynthia Chambers for:


Riker: "You know, just because it's Vulcan technology doesn't mean you can meld with it."
Rasmussen: "Shhh. What's Vulcan for "can, too!"?"


Next, we have the "Medical leave" Award, going to Jed-Ghost67 for:



PICARD: "Mr. Worf, I believe you are in my seat."
CRUSHER: (whispers) "Jean-Luc, you have the Captains chair. In the center."
PICARD: "GODDAMN IT Q! STOP BOSSING ME AROUND!!"
CRUSHER: "Come, let's go for a little nap, ok?"


Next, we have the "Thanks for getting the theme song stuck in my head" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:


Picard: Also, Data, a question of accuracy -- I don't think Scrooge had a giant vault of gold coins he swam in.


Next, we have the "Important Experiment!" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:



BEVERLY: My cotton candy experiment finished 24 hours faster than usual, I can't wait to share it with Jean-Luc!


Next, we have the "Somebody just use the transporter" Award, going to Shivkala for:



Worf: Sir, I must insist, you are the higher ranking officer, it is only right for you to enter the turbolift first.

Riker: Yes, Lt., but you were here first, so therefore it is only proper for you to go first.

Picard: You've been arguing for the past five minutes, one of you go first or you'll both be scrubbing the head with sonic toothbrushes!



Next, we have the "Adhesive of the future!" Award, going to Kaos - 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse, for:




Riker (to O'Brien): You added superglue to the transporter matrix again, didn't you?



Next, we have the "Backup Plan" Award, going to The Orange Monster for:



Worf: When the rotating frequencies become ineffective, put it in overload and throw the phaser at them.


Next, we have the "Not a great plan" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:



PICARD: By the way, nobody mention the absurdity of the idea that a single girl nobly bred in total isolation could somehow be the only hope to negotiate peace, it'll make them REALLY defensive.


Next, we have the "Will he steal the Defiant too?" Award, going to Mojochi for:



Riker: You know... every time you make that face, I expect another duplicate of me to show up.


Next, we have the "Only one speech for you O'Brien" Award, going to Kick the Can for:


Picard: When one has been angry for a very long time, one gets used to it. And it becomes comfortable, like... like old leather. And finally... becomes so familiar that one can't ever remember feeling any other way. But enough about marriage.

 

Two Photoshop Awards!

First, Zombie Cheerleader for:




Second, Q'eepy McMonster for:


Picard: "Mister O'Brien, I told you to get Dale K from the hotel. What is this?"
O'Brien: "Large Trash Cans? I'll get right on repairing the transporter coordinate tracking system before anything else happens."



The Award goes to: Shivkala for:



O'Brien: Personal Log--To alleviate the boredom, I like to play transporter roulette. I just set the coordinates and see who comes on-board. It's spread and now even the Captain will come down to bet on the species.




Four KBL's to award!

First, Leviathan for:



...in the 24th Century 'Sleep Mode' for Android was still complicated.


Second, Zombie Cheerleader for:


RASMUSSEN: Tiny houses are all the rage, Captain. It's all about downsizing.
PICARD: And you're a licensed Realtor?
RASMUSSEN: Why would I lie?


Third, Smellincoffee for:


O'Brien: Our signal is being interfered with from the ground. We're receiving a message..hm.
Riker: What does it say, chief?
O'Brien: "You'll never take me alive".
Riker: Fair enough. Bridge! Fire photon torpedos at the following coordinates-


Fourth, Inflatabledalek for:



Picard: But can you beam hair onto the head of a bald man? Asking for a friend.


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now in our new contest, we take a closer look at scenes where they MAY have repurposed a standing set to be a different location.











Enjoy!

 

Varley: I liked these chairs better when they had the flip up consoles.




Riker: I even offered to let the Captain go on this away mission. He said no for some reason.



Data: It's rave night in Transporter Room 3, Captain.



Data: First one to breach the warp core gets 10 points.



Picard: Why do I have the sudden urge to blast Miranda class starships?

 

VARLEY: Yeah, but I don't see your ship rocking a cool printed circuit thingy behind the captain's chair.

 

PICARD: Cancel Red Alert. Red Alert Off. End Red Alert. Damn it, is there a bloody off switch?

 

Varley: Jean-Luc, you know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look GOOD.

 

DATA: "...And over here is the ships lounge. In other episodes this is the main engineering hallway."
CRUSHER: "Data, what's an episode?"
DATA: "SHUT UP WESLEY!"

 

tftw!



PICARD: Greetings Captain...err...what's up with the decor?
OTHER CAPTAIN: Oh, this? I installed it so the tactical officer couldn't stare at my newly forming bald spot.
PICARD: Number one, who do I talk to about changing the bridge decor?



RIKER: Worf, get the flashlight on! Want to get eaten by a grue?



PICARD: This is Riker's idea of mood lighting?



DATA: Lal, these are balls. If men are ever overly aggressive toward you, it means they are insecure about the size of them.



PICARD: Actually, I studied capitalist economic theory, can I offer you this advice? You will make more money in the long run based on customer satisfaction than just by screwing your customer for a short term gain. If you had a better reputation you'd make far greater profits.
FERENGI: What? But...greed! ...Crap, you're right. How could we all be so stupid?!

 

Riker: "Look at me, Mr. Worf -- I put a foot off the metal flooring. I'm adventurous!"

Worf: "Careful, Commander, last time you got adventurous you grew a beard."

Riker "Hey!"




Picard: "Merde -- the red lights have cut on. Nobody say 'I'm a leaf on the wind, watch how I fly' or you surely will die. Got that Commander?"

Riker: "Yes, sir."

Picard: "Got that, Geordi?"

Geordi: "Yes, sir."

Picard: "Got that Tasha? Tasha?"

 

Thanks for the wins!


Picard: Why did you steal that starship, captain?!
Varley: I'm...er, trying to retrieve a dead body's friend because his ghost has posessed my chief medical officer.
Picard: Not good enough, dammit, not good enough! That only works on the Enterprise!


Picard: ...what are those spots on the floor?
Riker: Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies, captain.


Data: We shall now play a game once popular among human adolescents, called "Monkey in the Middle". Wesley, as the only genuine primate among us, I suggest you perform the role of the monkey first.

 

Wesley: "Data! You're not supposed to touch Happy Fun Ball!!!"

 

Picard: Well, look on the bright side, Captain. If all else fails, at least we'll have spare parts for my ship



Riker: I don't think the sales at this blue light special are going to be worth the trip



Laforge: Hey! In this lighting, I look like I'm back in my old command uniform

Picard: How about commanding the warp drive to work, ey commander?



Picard: No! I don't want to buy your stupid plasma ball, & I don't want any lava lamps either



Data: This is a ball, Lal. When playing with balls, we squeeze the balls thusly

Wesley: I don't think I want to play this game anymore, Sir.

 

Picard: Captain's Personal Log--From time to time, I like to contact other Galaxy class ships and just see what they've done to them. Note to self, Yamato has an interesting teal design on the security console behind the captain's chair, but the printed circuit board painting does not look good at all.

Varley: You, know, Jean-Luc, when you start monologing a Captain's Log, the rest of us can hear you. And this painting really ties the bridge together, damn it!




Riker: I don't get it, once again, no one has come to trick-or-treat here!



Picard: Damn it, Lt. I told you, it needs to be mauve! Red is the universal colour of camp! All these red alerts, all this dancing!



Data: Ball playing is not permitted in the hotel lobby, Lal.

Wesley: But, sir, this is the lounge on the Enterprise, not a hotel lobby.

Lal: Shut up, Wesley.



Picard: Rule of Aquisition #83, revenge is profitless, Bok!

Bok: I don't quote Starfleet regulations to you, do I? Now, shut up, blow up the Enterprise and die like a good little hu-mon!

 

Picard: "Nice try, Alec Peters! You fooled no one. The incorrect railing color gave you away!"

 

T4TW The Illusive Man!
Varley: Um, WE DA BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILITY. YA'LL BETTER ADAPT YOUR VESSEL TO SERVICE US NOW.
Picard: I'm really not Locutus anymore, Captain. I'm Jean Luc Picard again.
Varley: WE BORGS DO NOT FALL FOR THAT ENTRAPMENT! OR ELSE WHY YOU PULL US OVER IN THE FIRST PLACE, "JEAN LUC PICARD" - OR SHOULD I SAY JEAN-LUCUTUS-PICK YOURSELF OUT A NEW ALCOVE!!!


Worf: No, it's palm strike, double-backfist cross, double-backfist uppercut. Not palm strike double-backfist hook, double- backfist uppercut.
Riker: And if there are no computer consoles nearby to throw them into?
Worf: Improvise. Now stay behind me and when you see me lean back really far, that's when you know I'm going into the double-backfist combination. You'll have about five seconds to react, unless they somehow drive a truck through our defenses again.
Riker: Right behind you, learning as always, Lieutenant.


Picard: So you guys like my new darkroom?
Riker: Sure. I'm just not sure why you invited us here to see it.
Picard: Counselor Troi said I should try to develop a new image.


Bok: This new tracking ball technology will revolutionize helm control!
Picard: Interesting...could it be adapted to control the volume of Commander Riker's "Giving Orders" voice?


Lal: Father - did you paint that space scene too?
Data: No, Lal.
Lal: I was gonna say. It's too good.
Data: And now you are grounded. And I do not mean your positronic current.

 

awful!

 

Varley: you should see the Galaxy. The Captain's chair has a cup holder!

 

Thanks for the win! Again, not the one I expected!


Data: "Sorry. Homework first, fun later."
(1 second later)
Lal/Wesley: "Done./Done."
Data: "Now was that so hard?"


Riker: "Geordi, when I asked you to program the computer to let us know when the captain was coming, I was thinking of a tiny blinking light, not bathing the room in red."
Picard: "Why would you need such an alert, anyway? And why is it called "code billiard ball"?"


Picard: "Before I accept your challenge to fisticuffs, I feel duty-bound to warn you that I attended the Kirk school of martial arts."

 

--caption 1--

"Lol, if you count the number of balloons, you will determine roughly the age of Captain Picard, at least in years."



--or caption 2--

...With apologies to Nina...

You and I in a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we´ve got
Set them free at the break of dawn
Till one by one they were gone
Back at base, sparks in the software
Flash the message
somethings out there?
Floating in the summer sky
Ninety nine red balloons go by
Ninety nine red balloons
Floating in the summer sky
Panic bells, its red alert
There´s something here from somewhere else
The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
And focusing it on the sky
The ninety nine red balloons go by
Ninety nine decisions treat
Ninety nine ministers meet
To worry, worry, super scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we've waited for
This is it boys, this is war
The President is on the line
As ninety nine red balloons go by

 

Picard: "Remember this show, Number One?"
Riker: "Yeah. How they got Gene to play the role of Frank is beyond me, the scripts were tacky. But they did have the spandex..."
Wesley: "You adults were so lucky, all I had was Gary Gnu!"
Riker: "That explains a lot." (turns to Picard) "Captain, may I ask Geordi what he watched as a kid?"
Picard: "Make it show--"
Director: "CUT! That one's not going into the blooper reel!"