Contest: ENTER DS9 CapCon 156: They're Heeeee-eeeeeeee-eere

O'BRIEN: Did you just shush me?

 

O'Brien: Captain. You aren't going to believe this. We've found Michael Burnham.

Sisko: The Hero of Axanar?

O'Brien: No the mutineer, sir. You're thinking of that other crazy from the 2250s.

Sisko: Oh. Well spool up one of our old tech drives and send her back. No sense keeping her in this century.

Nog: Crazy 23rd century humans.

Garak: Now they were real people.

O'Brien: I can still hear you, you know.

 

O'Brien: "Found another victim of 'Star Trek: Discovery'."

 

O'Brien: Make a note in the log, Ensign. The Lieutenant died of natural causes.
Nog: NATURAL CAUSES??? Dead on the deck in the middle of an abandoned space station???
O'Brien: Looks that way.
Nog: What do you call those phaser burns there?
O'Brien: Those are self-inflicted.
Nog: The burns are indicative of a Cardassian weapon. She's carrying a Federation phaser.... And it hasn't even been discharged!
O'Brien: She might have disposed of one.
Nog: Sure, first thing she did after phasing herself -
O'Brien: Naturally.
Nog: - And then she crawled over here in the middle of the deck to die of...
O'Brien: Natural causes.
Nog: And those forty seven stab wounds?
O'Brien: What? Where?
Nog: Oh, all across her starboard flank.
O'Brien: She appeared to be a nail biter
Nog: A NAIL BITER???!!!
O'Brien: Lots of people are.
Nog: And the tricorder displaying the life signs of an as-yet unknown third party?
O'Brien: That could be one of us.
Nog: IT'S CARDASSIAN!!!
O'Brien: Garak, then.
Nog: GARAK, WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE TO YOU???
Garak: Hm? Natural causes.
Nog: NATURAL CAUSES??!! DEAD ON THE DECK IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ABANDONED SPACE STATION??!!
O'Brien: A Cardassian Space Station, Ensign.
Garak: He does catch on rather slowly, doesn't he.

 

New contest Wednesday!

 

Sisko: Maybe she would've stayed if I shaved and grew a beard.



O'Brien: Wait, we don't use sheets in the 24th Century.

The sheet: Go away, Chief. Nerys is sleeping.

O'Brien: Odo!



O'Brien: We'd better send out that distress call. We're running out of expendable characters.



Altovar: Remember my species! We should be in the show more than twice!