Contest: ENTER DS9 CapCon 156: They're Heeeee-eeeeeeee-eere

Welcome back everyone, and this being October we're going with a Hallowe'en theme -- with plenty of shots to play with!

First, let's take a look at last week's winners.

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Laura Cynthia Chamber's Hazard Pay

Bashir: "So far, I've found three Froot Loops, some glitter sparkles, an eraser that looks like a targ, a Bajoran spiny basil thorn, and the cap to a bottle of caulking foam. How long did you doze off for?"
Quark: "Only two minutes. But let me tell you, I am never, EVER babysitting that O'Brien brat again!"
Bashir: "On behalf of Yoshi and the entire family, thank you."


Kick the Can's "Self-Medication"

Worf: You will write me a prescription for anger control pills.
Doc: It doesn't work like that. Have you made an appointment?
Worf: No
Doc: Have you waited three weeks?
Worf: No
Doc: Have you checked in?
Worf: No
Doc: Have you filled out the insurance form?
Worf: No
Doc: Have you waited at least two hours in the waiting room?
Worf: No
Doc: Have you waited another hour in the examination room?
Worf: No
Doc: Have you been examined by a nurse?
Worf: No
Doc: Have you been examined by a Physician Assistant?
Worf: No
Doc: So do you see where the problem is?
Worf: Yes...you have not started writing me a prescription for anger control pills.
Doc: Why don't I just write you a prescription for anger control pills.


Zombie Cheerleader's "Shoot the Bastard. That's My Policy."

GARAK: Odo's replacement is Constable Callahan???

Bad Thoughts' "Pepper Jelly Prep is Serious Business"

Sisko: Say it!
Dax: No one touches your peppers!
Sisko: Louder!
Dax: NO ONE TOUCHES YOUR PEPPERS! Isn't torture against the Federation Charter?
Sisko: Wouldn't be the first time I broke it ... this week.


tharpdevenport's "Cleanup on the Promenade"

Where Will You Be When You Space Diarrhea Comes Ba--

"Too late!"

And coming in with the EC....Leviathan's "Brain Bleach, Please!"

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The screaming wouldnt stop. Eventually they just had to remove the entire memory of 'Profit and Lace' from his mind.

And now, for shots of suspense, terror, and creepy-crawliness!

 

Chief Enginer's Log. Turns out Julian can't hold his liquor. He kept pretending to be a parrot who only knew dirty "Irish" limericks. I had to throw a blanket over him to make him think it was night and shut up!


Disembodied voice, OS: He's dead, Jim.
O'Brien: Okay, that's it. Away team to Runabout, three to beam up.


Bashir: OPAKA ALREADY READ MY PAGH THANK YOU

 

Help me, Benjamin Sisko, you're my only hope.



Thinking: Hiding Kukalaka in the morgue will be a blast.



Electrolysis in the 24th century.

 

Double post. Stupid hospital Internet.

 

Bashir: When I said I wanted to get a buzz this weekend, THIS WASN'T WHAT I MEANT!

 

Jadzia: I learned all my moves from The Dancing Doctor

Alternate Caption
Jake: Who's leading, me or you?

 

Sisko: Nice top hat. Are you the chimney sweep of Christmas past?

 

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

 

SISKO: Wait, wait! It's not cheating if you're a brain projection!



O'BRIEN: I'm totally going to pull this back and it's going to be my own dead body. Because, yeah, what else could it freaking be?



NOG: I'm detecting high levels redshirting.
O'BRIEN: O'Brien to all surviving redshirts. Will you STOP separating out from each other, NOT turn down that next corner alone, make sensible decisions and actually COVER EACH OTHERS' BACKS?
ENSIGN (over com): Let's split up, we'll cover more ground that way!
O'BRIEN: What did I just say?!



BASHIR: This...method...of murder...is...overly...elaborate!!!



DAX: We really should stop telling Bajorans about human holidays.
KIRA: But Human Halloween is so awesome!



JAKE: Dad, wait! Dax is giving me dancing lessons!

 

I'm a class four apparition.
Nice to meet you. I'm the Emissary of the freaking Prophets.
I exist on an incorporeal plane.
Yeah? I exist outside of the freaking spacetime continuum.
Well, I look good in red.
Wait till Garak gets my size fourteen stilettos and we'll see who look good in freaking red up in here


Please be O'Brien, please be O'Brien, please be O'Brien - damn. That ain't O'Brien.


Nog! Make yourself useful and hold that light over here! I can't attract the special ops killers AND go through these pockets at the same time!


Bashir: The rule specifically states no bunny slippers on the promenade!!!
Alien: THESE ARE HARE SLIPPERS!!!


Oh please, you think that's scary?? I gotta look at freaking ODO every day, for crying out loud. What's your next trick, boring me to death with ship manifest clerical errors? .


Jake: WAAAIIIIT! I wanna know if the next leap will be his leap home!
Dax: Yeah and Duncan Macleod gets killed in third episode of the series. IDIOT

 

Thanks for the win, Smellin' Coffee




O'Brien: O'Brien to Sisko, are you sure we should be doing this? Is it against the laws of war or something?
Sisko, over comm: Philippa Georgiou did it. Now, stuff that corpse with explosives and put it in a torpedo tube!

 

"Is this the set for "Sub rosa"?"

"Wrong show. Thank the Prophets."

 

Present Jake: Dad, no!
Future Jake, narating: Losing my father was the most difficult thing I faced as a young man, but that's when I decided I would spend my life trying to get him back ... by perfecting my recipe for mushroom soup.

 

Jake: Hold on - shouldn't you be referencing something more familiar, like that series with the Skipper who keeps beating down the little buddy for his cockamame contributions?
Dax: YEAH OK, and Voyager gets home in the third episode of the series. IDIOT

 

Thanks for the win! Poor Quark...never fall asleep around small children!


As technology improved, it became increasingly harder to avoid telemarketers.

Sisko: "For the last time, I don't want to buy magazines, windows, air conditioning, or have my air ducts cleaned!"

 

TFTEC!



Sisko: Let me guess...you want me to go to the dag-o-bah system?

 

Deleted scene from Visionary:

Future O'Brien: I'm not dead.
O'Brien: Yes you are.
Future O'Brien: I'm getting better!
O'Brien: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
Future O'Brien: I don't want to go on the cart!
O'Brien: Oh dont be such a baby.
Future O'Brien: I think I'll go for a walk!
O'Brien: You're not fooling anyone, you know.
Future O'Brien: I feel happy! I feel happy!
O'Brien: <club> Right.

 

Bashir became much more tolerable after the crew chipped in for a few rounds of electro-shock.

 

O'BRIEN: Okay, so the waltz is a bust. Maybe the Cha-cha?

 

Specter: If you build it, he will come.
Sisko: Any excuse to turn part of the station into a baseball diamond!


O'Brien Clone: In retrospect, my Original's idea to have a clone of himself made to absorb the dirty and dangerous jobs and leave him in peace was a good one. He probably wasn't expecting that part of the habitat ring he was relaxing in to explosively decompress, but them's the breaks.


O'Brien: I told you. There are rules. You can't have sex, you can't drink or do drugs, and you should never, EVER, say something like "I'll Be Right Back".