Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #526: Cardio Contest

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Sep 18, 2017.

  1. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    ENSIGN NONAME: Is this the best time to practice bowling?
    LAFORGE: Of course it is! The sector championship is coming up!

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    CRUSHER: Dammit, Geordi!!!!
     
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  2. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Geordi: "...and you stick your landing and put your arms out like this to keep balance."

    Ensign: "Wow, I never knew you watched some much figure skating."

    Geordi: "Oddly enough it doesn't attract the girls. Maybe if I also added curling to my viewing schedule."
     
  3. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Admiral Admiral

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    RIKER (Thinking): Now to sneak away for a couple hours to the Edo bathhouses.
    TROI: Commander, where are you going?
    RIKER (Thinking): ...Damn it.

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    BEVERLY: Oh well, since I'm alone now. Computer, while I'm sprinting to Engineering, play song "My Heart Will Go On" on repeat.

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    The day Wesley Crusher practiced with his tripwire set and his voice simulator. Also the day Wesley Crusher mysteriously broke both his legs.

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    (A few seconds earlier)
    COMPUTER: Holodeck Program 'Cat Leah' has just been accessed by Leah Brahms.

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    (A few seconds earlier)
    DATA: Do you mind giving me constructive feedback on my poetry?
     
  4. Nebusj

    Nebusj Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Riker: ``Wait, running on the lawn is a crime too? Um ... ''


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    Another botched first contact with the Planet of Living Surgical Gowns.


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    Riker: ``Since when does an honorable Klingon call 'You're it I quit'?!''
    Worf: ``Since he won!''


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    LaForge: ``I'm busy here, I got no time for John de Lancie's stand-in!''


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    Picard: ``Personal log, supplemental. Taco Tuesday was a lie!''
     
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    CRUSHER: This had better not be another candle ghost! How many lovers did you have Granny???
     
  6. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Riker: Initiate "Running Man" procedure!

    Troi: "Running Man," aye, Sir!

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    Ogawa: Ogawa to Crusher, you're needed in Sick Bay.

    ♪Step one, you say we need to talk
    He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk
    He smiles politely back at you
    You stare politely right on through
    Some sort of window to your right
    As he goes left, and you stay right
    Between the lines of fear and blame
    You begin to wonder why you came


    Crusher: Ogawa, this is Crusher. Is that, "How to Save a Life" by the Fray I hear playing in the background? You should have told me it was this serious!

    We'll do it all
    Everything
    On our own
    We don't need
    Anything
    Or anyone
    If I lay here
    If I just lay here
    Would you lie with me
    And just forget the world?

    Crusher: Oh, crap, now it's "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol? Crusher to Ogawa, please tell me I'm not too late!

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    Worf: Damn phaser!

    Riker: Worf, is your phaser stuck? Are you just the worst security chief ever or what?

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    LaForge: Tag! You're it!

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    Where will you be when your diarrhea strikes?
     
  7. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

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    TROI: Stop it Will! Just stop. Power walking is not making a comeback!!!!
     
  8. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Heart of Dixie
    Thanks for the win! :D

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    Troi: (huff) (huff) This is (huff) (huff) a stu- (huff) -pid way (huff) to qualify (huff) for (huff) promotion.

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    Crusher: I HATE HYPOCHRONDRIACS!

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    Worf: Captain, I protest! I am not "IT"!

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    LaForge: NEW GIRLS BEAMING UP! OUTTA THE WAY!
    Ensign: Oh, sure. You'll make a great impression sweating and panting.

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    Lwaxana Troi: Oh, wasn't Willie just in here? I keep missing him!

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    Pulaski, in pursuit: I'll get you, my pretty! And your little boy, too!
     
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  9. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Riker: Screw the mission Troi, I'm working out. No way I'm getting 'Admiral Riker Fat'
     
  10. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    T4TW Leadhead!
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    Troi: Will, you keep saying you gotta get a horga'hn but this isn't even Risa! Hey, wait up!

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    The old leotard floss remover sidestep, don't fail me now!!

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    Crewman: This is literally the first time I have ever seen you run, Lieutenant.
    Worf: 50% off ridge enhancement! To Sickbay!
    Crewman: Seriously, not even against a self-destruct countdown....
    Worf: WITH COUPON!!!

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    Crewman: Bird imitations?
    Geordi: Hey! The male peacock mates with as many as six peahens in a single mating season!
    Crewman: And how many peahens have you attracted so far?
    Geordi: Well it's the off-season, isn't it!
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2017
  11. Gary7

    Gary7 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Having braved Klingon gagh, Riker thought he could stomach a bowl of squirming grubs...
    Riker: "Out of my way -- I'm gonna blow!"
     
  12. Herbert

    Herbert Commodore Commodore

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    Picard: <immitating Snagglepuss> Exit, stage left
     
  13. Herbert

    Herbert Commodore Commodore

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    Crewman Noname: Worst jazzhands EVAR!
     
  14. Hutchy01

    Hutchy01 Captain Captain

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    Inside the Wastelands of my mind!
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    Ensign: Can't you see I'm walking here?
     
  15. Mutai Sho-Rin

    Mutai Sho-Rin Crusty Old Bastard Moderator

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    Orange, CA USA
    Ummmm - your age is showing. :rommie:
     
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  16. Qonundrum

    Qonundrum Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Troi: "What's chasing us? It looks like a big tennis ball with a mouth."
    Riker: "Relax, that's just Pac-Man. Oh, he just ate a blue pill so he'll be chasing us for hours. Isn't it great how Starfleet's exercise regimen keeps us ahead of them with ease?"
    Troi (panting): "You bet. I ain't afraid of no ghosts!"
    Riker: "I like Ray Parker Jr too, but this is not the time for stilted karaoke!"

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    (strange echoing voice) "You'd have less drag coefficient if you ran without your robe on!"
    Director: CUT!!!
    Beverly: "HEY! The script says you're supposed to tell me not to run in the hallways, you dork!"
    Wil Wheaton: "Sorry, I just got contacted by someone named 'Sheldon Cooper'?"

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    Riker: "Mr. Worf, stand at ease! I know it smells but I won't report you to the captain!"

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    Geordi: "I have to hurry! I forgot to set the VCR to record the ABC Monday Night movie presentation of 'Mannequin'!"

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    Picard: "I have to hurry! I forgot to set the VCR to record the ABC Monday Night movie presentation of 'Porky's'!"
    Riker: "Hold up! There's no need to hurry, I'll lend you mine."
     
  17. Noname Given

    Noname Given Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Deanna always hated that Will Riker used the Holodeck to recreate the night on Betazed she took him to meet her mother... and his immediate reaction that night (to run FAR AWAY)...And the fact he used it as a basis for his Cardio workout regimen.
     
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  18. Herbert

    Herbert Commodore Commodore

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    I wonder how many people read that and then googled "Snagglepuss"
     
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  19. NinjaRaiden2005

    NinjaRaiden2005 Lieutenant Red Shirt

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    Mar 6, 2017
    Thanks, LeadHead!

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    The Baywatch spinoffs just kept getting stranger and stranger.

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    Gates: NO! I won't do another romance story! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!

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    The real reason Riker and Worf weren't up for promotion until years later. They were caught playing flag football during an admiral's inspection.

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    Crewman: Interested in our book club, Sir?
    Geordi: Screw your book club. I got Dead or Alive: Super Ultra Advanced Xtreme Beach Volleyball 12 3D waiting for me in the holodeck!

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    Beverly: Oh COME ON, guys! It's not THAT bad!
     
  20. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Troi: Where are you running off to, Will?
    Will: Some of us are gonna go look at a dead guy and we want to take off before Wesley hears about it.

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    Beverly: ♩ ♪ I'm siiiingin' in the rain, just siiiiiiingin' in the rain ♫ ♬ Computer, add musical accompaniment.
    <A Clockwork Orange starts playing>
    Everyone's a critic!