Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #525: Theoretical Relationships

Hello everyone! Sorry to not have winners ready to go here. The life of LeadHead has been insanely busy lately. Also apologies to those waiting on some movement on the Movies I-X and TOS contests. My hope is to get those moving in the next 2 weeks.

In the meantime, here are the new photos for this week, featuring "In Theory" one of our runners up in the voting on episode contests.











Enjoy!

 

Data: I realize that many advancements have been made to safety technology, however it seems quite foolish to rest your head against a photon torpedo.



D'Sora: Do want to hug or dance?



Worf: I am reading transporter traces, I believe this is revenge for making O'Brien move to Transporter Room 4.




Picard: Number One, this is what happens when you forget to invite Beverly to the staff meetings.



Picard: Picard to Enterprise. Don't we have a better shuttle for a dangerous mission than this?

 

DATA: I must warn you. Although I am capable of all the physical aspects of a romantic relationship, I can not accurately simulate the emotional whirlwinds of a real human relationship, nor the typical prideful behavior of a human male.
D'SORA: Why am I the first woman who's thought of this?



D'SORA: Actually I think you're a little *too* good at doing the Robot.



PICARD: What are the readings?
WORF: Gum. Lots and lots of gum.



The Enterprise crew went a little overboard with the post modern art-deco.



The moment you realize, Starfleet desperately needs to hire a new UI designer.

 

Picard: Merde...perhaps Klingon Opera music chairs was a bad idea for our monthly professional development activity...

 

RIKER: Who we gonna call?

 

PICARD: Klingon opera? Jazz? Dammit, I told them not to mess with my presets!

 

Worf: "Observe. The scanner on the new Gamma Five Thousand Tricorder can even read through four inches of solid dodecaquintanium! BANG! Klingon life signs!"
Picard: *sigh* "Impressive."
Worf: "But that's not all! It has also been equipped with a state-of-the-art sarcasm detector...perfect for diplomatic functions."
Picard: "Mmm. About that..."

 

Jenna: Maybe we should run the vibration stress test on the torpedo one more time.


Since we're no longer a couple, may I have my plants back?


Worf: I'm detecting no life signs, Captain

Picard: No dammit. I said I found A spot on the carpet, not Data's cat. Just go get a shampooer


Picard: I know it can be a little demeaning, but no. Only I can sit at the end of the table


No computer, I said identify this purple haze outside the shuttle? Who the Devil is Jimi Hendrix?

 

"No thanks, I've already been hugged today."




"Damn, I've entered the semen nebula again."

 

DATA: I have located the problem. It would appear your presence here was unnecessary.
JENNA: Yep, that's why I love working with you.
DATA: "Working" would seem to be a misnomer.

 

Jenna: I feel as smug as a starship captain on a planet of capitalists.
Data: Actually they usually come aboard our ship, as their planets offer very little for an actual away mission.
Jenna: A planet of refugees then.
Data: I highly doubt a Federation starship captain could out-smug a refugee of an alien occupying force. Trust me, been there done that, bought the hasperat.
Jenna: OK, a planet of women, then.
Data: Actually all the smugness in that scenario usually happens prior to beaming down. It almost never survives the actual interaction.
Jenna: ALL RIGHT, then YOU give me a metaphor!
Data: As smug as an android who covets human emotion.
Jenna: NAILED IT!


Jenna: Wow, that must have been a really scary platypus.


Worf: I haven't seen this much sperm since The Voyage Home.
Picard: Technically those were humpbacks, Mister Worf.
Worf: NERD ALERT


Data: The chairs are awry, sir.
Picard: Thank you captain obvious.
Data: Lieutenant obvious, sir.


GPS: Turn left at vector two-five-zero mark one.
Picard: I already passed that! Who programs these things, a Pakled??
GPS: Fly straight ahead.
Picard: It's another four thousand, seven hundred sixty-two light years to the next exit!
GPS: He is smart.

 

D'Sora: Data, it's not working out. It's not you, it's me. Besides, I've found someone new.

Data: The photon torpedo?



Data: That hair length usually works on a person who has a body frame with 25% less BMI than yours. However, you make it work.

D'Sora: Was that negging? Data, have you been reading dating suggestions from 21st Century Pick-up artists? And are you expecting my 24th Century values would crumble and I'd fall into your arms after you slightly insulted me in a positive way?

Data: Human sexuality. It is a difficult concept.



Worf: Sir, I do not see this "snipe" you are talking about.

Picard: Look under there, Mr. Worf!

Worf: Under where?

Picard: Gotcha! By the way, what is that smell? Merde, I think it's updog!

Worf: What is "updog"?

Picard: Not much, what's up with you?

Worf: If you were any other man...

Picard: Yeah, yeah, I've heard that before.



Picard: Q!

Q: My dear Captain, I'm insulted. With all this power at my fingertips, you assume that I would be so petty as to rearrange your precious chairs? Me, who could create a blackhole in the middle of your warp engine? Me, who could reshape your ship like putty? Me, who could smite you with nary a blink of an eye? You think this is my work?

Picard: What? No. I just figured you could put everything back really quickly. Now, be a lamb and fix this mess.

Q: If you were any other man...

Picard: Yeah, I've heard that before.



Picard: Now, impulse drive... impulse drive, hmm. Now if I were the impulse drive, which one of these would I be?

 

Peanuts: 24th century style.

 

Data: "Symmetrical chair stacking. Just like the Philadelphious IV mass turbulence of 2347"

 

Data: "It appears our unofficial on-again, off-again feud with night shift is on again, sir."
Riker: "No, that's not it. Boys!"
Matthew and Pola (in unison): "Do you like our tree fort, Commander Riker?"

 

Captain Jake: Beer me!

 

Deleted Scene where Jenna debates getting into a relationship with Data:

Jenna: How big is it?

 

Picard: That sucked.

 

Data: "Your expression is similar to the one I once observed on Spot when Lt. Martel's Serinus canaria forma domesticus escaped from its cage."

 

Data: Help me help you