Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #524: Beaming

Picard (over the comm): "Report, Mr. Data."

Data: "Curious -- it appears the aliens have re-created Commander Riker and Lieutenant Yar as wax figures."

Picard: "Then nothing new of interest. Away team, beam back up."

 

Picard: THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!
Troi: Do NOT look at me!


Tomalak: So you used a neutrino beacon that could be detected by the transmitter on that guy's face? Tell me, does it have 1080p?
Picard: YES


Riker: Data, must you do that here?
Data: On behalf of the United Federation of Planets, I claim this tree.


Data: FEDERATION STANDARD, MOTHER FEKLAR! DO YOU SPEAK IT??!!
Fajo: Oh NOW he uses the Pulp Fiction chip I gave him. Couldn't do it yesterday when Space Gimp was here.


Barclay: There's SOMETHING out on the WING!
Casting Director: NAILED IT!

 

Sorry to be so late again everyone. It was another travel weekend for me. I'll put up a couple of extra photos to caption soon and finish this contest this weekend.

 

Frakes: <thinking> Okay Jonny, you got this. Do it just like they said in acting school. Gaze into the imaginary distance. Channel the mighty oak. Tall, stoic, erect, majestic. Hah! Let's see Stewart do this.

 

Fajo: Gah! This is worse than being sniped on ebay!
Data: Precisely, as I bid you farewell… <shoots>




<Reads Sticky Note>
Paused TP buffer DO NOT TOUCH!
Back in 2 hours - Chief

&&

O Brien: <incoherant technobabble about defragging the Heizenberg compensators>




Data: I’m reading a 9.5 on the wood-o-meter... Beaming in additional co-stars to compensate.

 

We coulda have used one over in Fan Art before M took over

​

 

Little boy (OS) *punches the transporter console button over and over, laughing completely innocently*
Barclay: "No! Stop! How do I make you understand?"

 

And here we see Leadhead on realizing he could just make these contests last two weeks.

 

Transporters come in handy if you suddenly develop stage fright...
Geordi: "Wait, what was my line again?"


...or finally getting rid of that annoying relative who's managed to turn a weekend visit into a month-long stay.
Worf: "Just. Go. Home. Already."



Be glad the world of Star Trek is a ways off yet; If the aliens landed now, we'd all be far too busy posting selfies to notice.


Geordi: "Don't worry, Captain, I can get Dr. Crusher back."
Pulaski (under her breath): "Blast it, I thought I'd finally-"
Troi: "Finally what, Doctor?"
Pulaski: "Nothing! Ooooh, look, sparkles!"

 

Picard: Mr. Worf, beam him out of here before he launches into his long-winded speech about honor! I'm the only one around here who's allowed to make long-winded speeches!



Pulaski: They can't sue you for malpractice if you beam them into space.



Pakled Captain: We told engineer'd be here between 1300 and 1500 hours. It now 1750! This ridiculous! We demand to speak with your supervisor!



Data: Commander, I'm picking up two teleportation beams.

Shelby: If I wanted someone to state the obvious, I would have brought Troi along!

 

KlingWan'Khenohbi: Worf...Worf...you must go the Dago-bah system.

 

COMPUTER: Warning, intruder alert on the bridge...
PICARD: Damn it, Worf! You have one job!!!!!

 

Starscream: Oh, how it pains me to do this...

Picard: He sure milks that one role doesn't he?





Pulaski: Transporters, cheaper than malpractice insurance.





Starscream: Oh how it pains me to do this...

Riker: Dude really is milking that role.





Chief Engineer's Log: Boy, it's only when you see our two transporter beams side by side you realise what a midget I am next to Commander Riker.

 

DATA: <turms to Worf> You should get your latinum back for that Tuvok Security Course.

 

KLINGON CAPTAIN: What? How dare you do this? My position is completely logically sound here! Our ally infected our ship for no reason and is offering to fix it for free as a trick! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN?!



PULASKI: We've finally found it Captain. A life form even more self righteous than us.
PICARD: Challenge accepted.



RIKER: By the way, I hope you don't mind we give all your information to the Ferengi? They'd be great trading partners for such smart people as yourselves.
PAK'LED CAPTAIN: That sounds great, please send them all our information.



SHELBY: So I should have Riker's job in a week, right? Oh, ssh, there he is.

 

Shelby: There, we almost have it!

Data: Yes, as long as nothing disturbs this soil for the next 30 seconds, our analysis will give us what we need to defeat the Borg.

(Riker and La Forge materialize.)

 

WARNING: creatures in transporter beams are closer than they appear.

 

Wesley: I thought you might be pleased, Sir. If I had followed your orders, that bird of prey would have slammed right into our viewscreen. The bottle says guarantees to cloak your ship or your Latinum back.