Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #520: Wait, there's other people aboard?

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jul 26, 2017.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
    Hello and welcome to the new contest! Sorry for missing the Monday start again. Next week should be easier.

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    First up to the plate, we have the "To Boldly Endanger..." Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

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    TROI: This is a great one, it's a picture of you, taking hundreds of children into a war zone.



    Next, we have the "Crowd-sourcing" Award, going to F14peter for:

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    PICARD: "These aliens are being very uncooperative ... suggestions gentlemen!"

    RIKER: "Gotta play it like poker, seven-card stud. Run a bluff like we have a pair of threes and they have four hearts showing"

    LAFORGE: "Well, I could reroute the futzlemak flow through the flappenjammer valve, although we would need to adjust the puzenwackel pressure to within .000001% of the zipp-pop-gunzel ratio --"

    WORF: "Shoot them"

    ADMIRAL PRESSMAN: "I'm with Worf"

    Next, we have the "Complicated Machinery" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

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    LaForge: You put the plus side up and the minus side down, right?



    Next, we have the "But we can keep the Miranda's, right?" going to inflatabledalek for:

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    Picard: OK, if we bury the model this deep, they won't be able to find it and we might get some new fucking ship designs on this show.

    Set course for the Excelsior!


    Next, we have the "What happens after to Riker lean" Award, going to Triskelion for:

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    Picard: - and you can come back to the bridge when you've finished airing out your junk. We can't keep going through pilots.



    Our Photoshop Award, goes to Nerys Myk for:

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    PICARD: Sorry, Commander Burnham. Seems that Starfleet forgot about you.
    BURNHAM: That sounds like my brother.


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    Extra KBL's this week!



    First KBL goes to Tharpdevenport for:

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    Picard: "This is for letting Deanna take the helm. You must promise never to do it again."

    Riker: "Do movies count?"



    Next KBL goes to Mojochi for:

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    Pressman: Court-martials for anyone who makes a "Rock & a hard place" joke



    The Final KBL goes to Shivkala for:

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    Riker: Well, sure, now that I see it from this angle, I can see why you didn't give me a pass on my driving test.

    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners! Continuing on with Season 7, lets check out the "Lower Decks!"


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    Enjoy!
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2017
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
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    Taurik: This game does not appear to create excitement. I recommend changing to Cards Against Humanity.


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    La Forge: Vorik's your brother!

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    Crusher: Start the timer! I'll heal these injuries fast and finally make it into the record books!

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    Captain's Log: I'm being followed by eager Ensigns again. Time to start transferring crew to Deep Space Nine...

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    Things got awkward when Worf accused RIker of cheating.
     
  3. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    shivkala
    Thanks for the win![​IMG]

    Another in the long line of "just throw some crap together and call it a futuristic game" trick the Star Trek prop department is famous for.


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    LaForge: No, I told you before, you are not learning how to eject the warp core until you learn how to successfully roll under the door.

    Taurik: Would it not be more logical to have the controls for the warp core ejection be on the other side of the door?

    LaForge: Look, that's the one cool part of this job!

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    Narrator: Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished... He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.

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    Ensign: Sir, do you have a moment to talk about the mission?

    Picard: Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk

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    Worf: Today is a good day to have a Dead Man's Hand!
     
  4. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    Confederation of Earth
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    Taurik: Alyssa, I appreciate your desire to attain the command of a starship, but "YAHTZEE!" is not an approved catch phrase for a vessel's commanding officer.


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    LaForge: Taurik! Don't move or the Plot Monster will get you!


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    Picard: Ensign, the corridor of a ship of the line is not an appropriate venue for line dancing.


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    Beverly began to suspect that her prospective boyfriends were resorting to drastic measures to break a date.


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    Worf: Commander, I must protest. "Go Fish" is without honor!
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2017
  5. Starbreaker

    Starbreaker Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Location:
    Birmingham, AL
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    Riker: No, this isn't a parallel universe where you win.
     
  6. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    ENSIGN: Out of the way, gramps. I'm on my way to the bridge to talk with the Captain!
     
  7. Mojochi

    Mojochi Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
    Thanks :D
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    Sam: After the 3rd one, I thought you'd have realize that those aren't cookies

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    Laforge: Don't play that emotionless Vulcan crap with me. I can SEE your galvanic skin response & increased heat rate

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    Beverly: Alyssa, prepare to rotate him, or he won't microwave evenly

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    Captain's Personal Log: Reminder to self. Walking companions should probably not be a meter shorter than me

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    Troi: (Thinking) I need a larger dating pool
     
  8. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    astral plane
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    Director: (O.C.) Look like you're having fun for chrissake, we've got a warehouse full of these things to sell by Christmas.
     
  9. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Location:
    JirinPanthosa
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    LAVELL: It's been so much easier to get good bridge assignments since Wesley stopped stealing all of them.
    SITO: Oh, tell me about it. Did you know Captain Picard called up the Academy and demanded he be given special placement on our team? He was the one who was supposed to be in the defective flyer.

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    LAFORGE: Oh, by the way, will you be my wingman tonight? Need someone to make me look warm and approachable so that's pretty much only Vulcans.

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    CRUSHER: This should be easy, I made it almost halfway through Beginning Cardassian Anatomy while watching Netflix.

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    SITO: I can impress the boss if he sees me doing laps in my off duty hours!

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    WORF: By the way, why do we always play five card stud? There are more fun poker variations, such as EVERY OTHER ****ING ONE.
     
  10. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    "Wait -- did you say I might die and never come back?"

    Picard: "Sorry, things to do..." walks away quickly.
     
  11. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Tenacity
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    Ensign: "The future supposed to have moving sidewalks, why do we have to walk everywhere?
     
  12. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    astral plane
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    Riker: Cheating? Data???

    La Forge: In fairness, someone programmed him to cheat.

    Worf: But who?

    Crusher: I'm going to ground that over-nursed ingrate for a year.

    Troi: I'm sensing conflict.
     
  13. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Riker" "So, strip poker, anyone? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

    Troi: "Okay, I guess."

    Beverly sits down.

    Riker: "So, Worf, you were talking about killing things?"
     
  14. Finn

    Finn Bad Batch of TrekBBS Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
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    Lavell: At least that Harry idiot isn't with us!

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    Taurik: (Jr. officer's log) Mental note: When I start experiencing Pon Farr, don't hit on him....


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    Sito: what if I colored my hair red?

    Picard: pardon?

    Sito: nothing
     
  15. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

    And then Geordi Admitted What None of Us Had Expected...

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    Geordi: "Your fly's undone! LOL, just kidding -- I can only seen thermal stuff; I can see you junk anyway. Shhh, don't tell anybody."
     
  16. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    LH, I think you credited me with F14peter's caption. :) Thanks for making me look good!
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    Ogawa: All right, who ordered the Marthrasian mongoose egg, and who got the Zortwingian beetle larvae?
    Johnson: Isn't that one a Twipeflian tart?
    Blondie: No, Twipeflian tarts have spider larvae, these aren't so squishy.
    Ogawa: All right, I'm going back for more drinks. Can I get anyone anything? Another Robitussen, T'Murray? Blondie? Some more red kool aid? Johnson? Another prune juice moonshine? Anybody?
    T'Murray: I would not say no to a shot of cherry schnapps.
    Johnson: You've placed the Coyote Stone at the crossroads of the fifth and sixth realms, which would divert our consciousnesses into the Mountains of the Antelope Women.
    T'Murray: I would not say no to an antelope woman.
    Ogawa: Geez what a lightweight.

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    Geordi: I'll have a fishburger value meal. Wait, you could make that a medium?
    T'Norris: Please wait while I get the manager.

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    Beverly: If he wakes up prematurely again I'm going to shoot him up with horse tranqs.

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    Picard: You'll find out that in command, getting crewmen to fight for you requires a great deal of hard work.
    Sito: I know! Fake crying is hard!

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    Riker: And this is how you win all the money.
    Worf: Which you can't spend.
    RIker: I hate you.
     
  17. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
    Thank you for saying that! I had a feeling I'd made a mistake in the winners. I just hadn't had the chance to take a closer look.

    First post edited and fixed!
     
  18. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    OGAWA: Loser has to go on a mission the could end in certain death.
    SITO: Wait...what?

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    RIKER: So, the Captain conned some noob goldshirt into going on a mission that could end in certain death.
    WORF: What happened?
    RIKER: I'm guessing certain death.
     
  19. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    astral plane
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    Beverly: Computer, transport this hot mess to deep space, widest angle of dispersion, and delete all medical logs from the past fifteen minutes. (sotto voce) Let's hope no one notices this little boo-boo.
     
  20. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2016
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    Mississauga
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    Beverly: "I warned you not to diss Spiderman..."
    Riker: "And they say you won't like the Hulk when he's angry..."

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    Geordi: "'Who took the cookies from the cookie jar? Taurik took the cookies from the cookie jar!'"
    Taurik: "To which biscuit container are you referring?"
    Geordi: "Do you honestly have no idea what I'm doing here, or are you just being a jerk?"