Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #309: Miracle Worker

Hello and welcome to the new caption contest!



First up to the plate, we have the "Emergency Beamout" Award, going to Mr. Laser Beam for:



Where will YOU be when those field rations go right through you?

Next, we have the "Somebody said the magic word" Award, going to rcjames for:



Kirk: "OK, you're coming with us Mudd."

Mudd: "But why?"

Kirk: "One corny episode with you was bad enough. We can't have another."

Mudd: "But I have sexbots!"

Kirk: *curious* "Sexbots you say?"


Next, we have the "Burned" Award going to Tenacity for:



Sergeant: "It's a dance style called "vogue," get with the times Herbert.


Next, we have the "Remote Control Madness" Award, going to Orac for:


Bones: You green-blooded sonofabitch! I WAS WATCHING THAT!


Next, we have the "Soon after, McCoy gave them both Red Shirts" Award, going to Laura Cynthia Chambers for:


Jaeger: "I think I feel a song coming on..."
McCoy: "So help me, if it's Kathleen, I'll belt you."
Riley (offscreen): "Did somebody say Kathleen? A one, a two, and a three-"

Our Photoshop Award, goes to Nerys Myk for:


MCCOY: Take it easy, Gerrera. You don't wanna get hooked.




The Tribbles have chosen RandyS for:



Bones: Say Yeager, I guess that laxative I gave you REALLY worked, huh?



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, lets give our Chief Engineer the chance to shine. It's your contest, Scotty!











Enjoy!

 

Scotty: This is Monty Scott, coming at you with the smooth jazz on 170.1 FM



Scotty: Everybody watch out for obvious deadly traps. I don't want to lose more than 2 of you!



Scotty: Scott to Captain Kirk. My engineers are almost done.

Kirk: Good, I want to watch that boxing match but I am NOT paying those ridiculous Pay-Per-View charges!



Scotty: Communicator, check messages.

Communicator: Checking for available massage appointments.




Scotty: Here's your problem. You put the USB in wrong again.

 

SCOTTY: Laddie, if your hand gets any closer, we're gonna have to be on a first name basis.

 

Scotty: I've been sitting in this chair for an hour, now, and I've decided that every single one of these things needs a higher back for comfort. The top of this thing digs in something fierce.

 

Scotty: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

 

SCOTT: Man, I should have gone down there to salvage the parts. What's the worst that could happen?

 

After the Taco Tuesday incident, they added more Port-A-Potties to location shoots.

 

Scotty: Scott and security detail reporting, sir.... Wait, what happened? We beamed down with a full party of six!

Redshirt #1: We lost Wilhelm in the swamp, sir.

Scotty: Oh, right. I heard the scream.

 

Scotty: Tell me captain, have you ever got two contests at once?

 

Redshirt: "How many more times are we going to have to run around this damned rock?"



Scotty: "Can it wait Captain, I sort of have both my hands occupied."

 

"Can anyone help me - I got me hands stuck in this er..um...circuit..that's it...circuit!"

 

Thanks for the win Leadhead!


Scotty: When I say run, run. Run!


Scotty dreaded working with Crewman Butt Toucher.

 

Some people have more trouble adapting to hands-free technology than others...


Crewman: "Hey, Grady, look. He's getting ready to break the fourth wall again..."

 

REDSHIRT: There's something different about Mr. Scott.
REDSMOCK: I think he grew a mustache.

 

Rare footage from the rejected Star Trek spin-off, "Scottymorphs".


"Ach, one at a time, laddie! This Jefferies tube ain't big enough for the both of us!"

 

Ensign Nameless: Soon it won't be big enough for the one of you.

 

Captains Log, Stardate 1968, Crewman Butt Toucher is occupied repairing Spock's computer, and yet I feel uneasy.

 

I dinna always wear a yellow shirt, but when I do, I get the bridge all to meself.

 

Crewman Butt Toucher: Mr. Scott, are you drunk again? This is your station.

 

Scott: Laddie, I'm from Scotland. What do you think?