Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #308: Just a Country Doctor

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Jaeger: "I think I feel a song coming on..."
McCoy: "So help me, if it's Kathleen, I'll belt you."
Riley (offscreen): "Did somebody say Kathleen? A one, a two, and a three-"

 

SPOCK: Everyone just stay low until the Jehovah's Witnesses move on to the Henderson's place.

McKoy: Scotty... beam me up while no one is looking. I put on my fake wedding band, but T'Pau is still giving me 'The Eye'...

(I figure if I'm gonna make a go at this caption thing, I should practice a bit)

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, Supplemental: turns out Vulcan is a lot like Boston. Just substitute the word "logic" for "wicked".


Mudd: I feel like Charleton Heston. You know what that makes you.
Kirk: Egyptians?
Bones: Soylent Green?
Scott: Ben Hur?
Kirk: Roman Centurions?
Bones: Japanese Zeros?
Scott: Wayne's World?
Mudd: You don't get Planet of the Apes, but you get Wayne's World. Geez.


Airman: Aliens secretly watch us??
Bones: Trust me, you'll like Vulcans better that way.


Bones: So...it's the first time in your life you ever made a stand for anything - and it's not human rights, civil rights, the right to vote, to demonstrate peacefully, to own property, or to have more than one child, equality, internet, freedom of travel, freedom of speech, assembly, or even the safety of everyone aboard this ship right now - it's to keep from getting bumped on a flight??
Spock: Yes, I finally have something worth risking my life for.
Bones: Kudos!


Bones: In the event of an emergency, fasten your own mask before helping others.
Passenger: That guy got more peanuts than me. I'm starting a revolution for equal distribution of peanuts. <dies of oxygen deprivation>

 

McCoy: This is just like that Twilight Zone episode.




MP: This is just like that Twilight Zone episode.




Jaeger: This is just like that Twilight Zone episode.


Edit to add: Oh, and thanks for the win. I expected to never get one.

 

Scott: "Oh, and while you're down there, would you mind picking me up a few L-series circuitry routers?"
McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a personal shopper!"

 

Dammit Jim! I'm a Doctor AND a Voyeur.

 

MCCOY: Damn it, Jim! Where are those steaks? The barbecue's ready to go!

 

Spock: "In a circular motion I and the command chair rotate as one. The exact point at which we will cease to rotate is determinable by taking into consideration several variables, including-"
McCoy: "For the love of space, Spock, stop spinning! You're making me nauseous! And for the record, you're supposed to say, "Round and round I go/Where I stop, nobody knows."

 

McCoy: "Damn it Spock, it's the only toilet on the ship, and I need it.

 

"Dammit, Uhura, how is my communicator only getting two bars here on Vulcan? Intellectual giants of the Federation, my ass..."


Man, Trainspotting 2 is much weirder than I expected.


Dr. McCoy's mime class on the Enterprise was considered second to none.


MCCOY: Dammit, Spock, how long is this charade going to go on? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WE'RE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?!?


Little-known fact: Dr. McCoy was Dennis Hopper's acting coach for Blue Velvet.

 

Where will YOU be when those field rations go right through you?




Lieutenant: The atmosphere on this planet can be toxic. If inhaled in too large a quantity it can cause unconsciousness and even death.

McCoy: Oh, sort of like your aftershave.

 

Martin Milner tries to sneak off the set, unsure of how he ever wandered over from Adam-12.

 

McCoy: "Vulcan has a thermostat? Then why the blazes do you leave it turned up so hot?"
Spock (offscreen): "We do not discuss it with outsiders."

 

Sergeant: "It's a dance style called "vogue," get with the times Herbert.



Uhura (os): "Doctor, there may be a problem."
McCoy: "What is it."
Uhura (os): "Do you remember the vampire cloud from Argus Ten?"
McCoy: "Sure I do, why?"

 

Chief Medical Officer's log, supplemental: I'm not sure if Vulcans eat hot dogs, but a high priest just offered to make me one with everything.

 

McCoy: McCoy to Vulcan Space Central.

Comm voice: Go ahead.

McCoy: Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

 

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