Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest # 172 Vorik and Torres

Not sure what inspired this topic.

This round of winners are:


The teamwork award goes to FInn and Devenport:



Next time on Star Trek; Voyager, Harry falls in love with Siri.
Harry: "Siri, when will I get promoted?"

Siri: "Searching ..... I'm sorry, I can't find that."


I think I know where she was going with this award: Laura

Paris: "One more thing, Harry; whatever you do, don't throw off his groove."



Don't you wish your Ensign were hot like me award goes to Tharpdevenport



"Is he still looking at me sensually?"



bad yet so good punch award to tenacity


Harry: I should have used a condom when I had sex with that Satan's robot.
Tom: What happen?
Harry: Accord to the doctor I've got rust.



HAHAHAHA award to Trisk

Harry: Hey Chaotica, if you love chaos so much, why did you organize a government?
Chaotica: Computer, delete the douchebag!
Harry: Ha ha, others have tried that.


Classic award goes to Nerys


HARRY: Tom, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened...
PARIS: Just a moment Harry, they might have a phone.

 

Won twice, nice.




Torres: "Hey, who are you?"

TT: "Me? I'm Token Vulcan. The shows producers are looking for a way to bring in viewers of the original series and figure throwing in a smarmy token Vulcan who isn't quite as bright as you, therefore making your character shine without actually character improvement, will endure you to the new audience."

Torres: "Huh. Will it work?"

TT: "Highly illogical. Wench."

 

Vorik: You spelled antimatter wrong.


Vorik: Mmmm, Doctor your hands are so smooth and soft, and they smell like strawberries.


Vorik: I don't wanna go for a walk! I wanna play video games!


Torres: I can't stop smelling my hands! Mmmm, strawberries.

 

TORRES: "ohmygod, Captain! He -- Vorik -- he flashed me! And it was green ... and forked!!"



EMH: "Stop whingeing and hold still, you randy bastard, while I attach this Testosterone Drainer to your throat. As long as you wear it, you'll be as limp as wet noodle."

 

Tolken Vulcan: "Eh, I only use it once every seven years anyway."





Torres: "Wait, wait, wait -- check out my Chacotay mating call impression," cups her mouth, "Wood! I'm wooden!"

 

Vorik: Let me take this opportunity to declare kone-hat so'likky.
Torres: What?
Vorik: My desire to wear a pointy hat.


EMH: You'll be under confinement and wearing this at all times.
Vorik: A cortical monitor?
EMH: A shock collar. For the barking.


Tuvok: Let me guess -Pon Farr?
Vorik: No, poison Ivy toilet paper.


Torres: And now, the Antarian Pygmy Duck, ladies and gentlemen. The Antarian Pygmy Duck.
Janeway: Uncanny!
EMH: Sounds more like a Helmeted Loon.
Janeway: Is that a bird?
EMH: Sure.

 

EMH: Ensign, you are exhibiting the classic symptoms of Pon-Farr. This device will simulate a hickie from a Vulcan female, which will provide some initial relief in the early stages.




Vorik: I am the GREAT CORNHOLIO! Do you have TP?
Tuvok: Clearly, we have found the thief stealing the Captain's coffee.


And for a Brady Bunch throwback to "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!"


B'Elanna: Ooooh, MY NOSE!!
EMH: The Captain always said - 'Don't play ball on the bridge'

 

Awesome!


Doctor: "Hold still while I tune it in."
Announcer: "xxxt!-VLKN, coming to you live from the top of Mount Seleya. We've got a full selection of music to meditate by. VLKN Vulcan radio. All logic, all day long."

 

B'ELANA: Wait, who is this guy Taurik? Is he your brother?
VAURIK: No, that's me. On my first day after transferring from the Enterprise the chief engineer called me Vaurik, and I didn't correct him. ...Now that you know, can you call me Taurik?
B'ELANA: Sure Saurik.



TUVOK: Yeah, there's something you need to know about working on a ship with humans. They ALWAYS want to talk about your pon farr.
VAURIK: EWW!

 

Tuvok: May I remind you, Ensign, that constipation is illogical.

 

JANEWAY: Torres's harmonica playing is giving me the blues.

 

Teacher (off screen): "Now Vorik, you operated the computer last time. It's B'elanna's turn now."
Torres: "Ha, ha. I win, you lose."
Vorik: "Phooey."
Torres: *raspberry*

Torres: "...and then he just hit me right in the nose! Owww...."
Doctor: "Don't worry, you'll be okay. It's not broken."
Janeway: "I'll have a talk with Vorik, okay? Next time, don't tease him."

 

Torres: Do me do me do me do me do me do me do me do me do me....
Janeway: So...was she affected by Vork's Pon Farr?
EMH: Nope.


Tuvok: I brought s'mores and my guitar.
Vorik: Yikes!

 

TUVOK: And then once the Ponn Farr passes you will mate....
VORIKL Ick! What about the cooties!!!

 

Tuvok: "How about a song, Lieutenant?"

Tolken Vulcan: "Singing? That seems high counter productive to what one would need to do to prepare for survival for the night."

Tuvok: "Trust me. I'll start off: Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream ... you're supposed to join in and sing the same reframe when I complete mine."

Tolken Vulcan: "Ah, I see Commander. Why?"

Tuvok: "It's musical counterpoint, Lieutenant."

Tolken Vulcan: "Pardon my ignorance in the human ways of music, but isn't counterpoint something that is different that counters the melody and helps propel it forward and not just repeating the same thing as the main melody."

Tuvok: "It doesn't seem highly illogical."

Tolken Vulcan: "Indeed."

Tuvok: "Shall we proceed? gently down the stream..."

Tolken Vulcan: "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream..."

Tuvok: "Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream."

Tolken Vulcan: "Merrily... But, sir, life is not a dream."

Tuvok: "Correct, Lieutenant."

Tolken Vulcan: "And who are these people and why are they rowing their boat in the stream?"

Tuvok: "Excellent question, Lieutenant. See, I told you this would be fun."

Tolken Vulcan: "You were right, Commander. OH! That marshmallow is coming out of me! Where's the bathroom?"

Tuvok: "Much liek a Federation ship, Lieutenant, there isnt one."

 

Tuvok: - and when they arrived home, she saw, hanging on the door handle - WAS A HOOK!
Vork: Automobiles of the era featuring handles often required thumb buttons. How did the fugitive intend to release the locking mechanism using his hook hand? Would it not be more logical to use his functional other hand to attempt ingress?

 

Vorik: Did I leave one of the candles lit when I left my quarters?

 

Vorik: "MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
Tuvok: "I regret to inform you that we are not playing the Captain Proton program today."
Vorik: "What, you mean I practiced Chaotica's evil laugh for nothing?"
Tuvok: "I am afraid so."

 

Desktop day. That means...an update! Just as soon as I get through my typical indecisiveness judging these. Stay tuned...

 

new contest up

https://www.trekbbs.com/threads/voyager-caption-contest-173-set-tech.286955/