This is my story about the first time Kirk faced a no-win scenario. It was the year of a Stardate I don't know because nobody pays much attention to stardates. Let's just say it's in the future from now but in the past from future Enterprise stuff. Baby Kirk was picked up out of his crib by his mom who had a busy job working for a Doctor House at the local hospital. It was her job to give him incorrect soultions so he can look like a genius after literally treating patients like lab experiments She changed Baby Kirk's diapers like any good mom and then proped him into a high chair and placed a vr headset on his head that would project virtual images of orion slave girls dancing. This distraction gave Kirk's mom time to prepare breakfast for Baby Kirk. She got out a future fry pan that we know is from the future because they handle has blinking lights on them and put it on the stove and broke open a Katarian egg and started to cook it. After about 5 minutes the egg was done. She then got a apple out of the fridge and cut it into baby slices that Baby Kirk coud eat. She went over and removed the vr headset and placed a plate with the egg and apple slices in front of Kirk and did what any good mom would do. She told him he had to choose which of the two food choices he can eat or else. If he chooses the egg she told him she would kill his father when he got home from doing Starfleet stuff or if he choose the apple slices she would burn down the hospital with everyone inside. Just after giving him this option Kirk's dad rushed into the front door of the home with starfleet security and a mental hospital worker which we know is that because of the comical big catchers net to use to catch crazy people. With the mom captured Baby Kirk took a bight out of one of the apple slices and thought back to how all the horrible things that could have happened were stoped. It seems the night before Baby Kirk overhead his mom in another room writing down things and talking to herself about ways that she could use to test Baby's Kirk's morality. After years of watching Doctor House constantly push the bounds of good taste she had finally snapped. She would now be the one who experiments on others. Baby Kirk had seen this coming for awhile now and had the forsight to place a listening device on her that connected to the comm channel of his dad's communicator. He heard everything. The couldn't do anything though until the caught her in the act because it is illegal to record peoples conversations and use them against them without a warrant. Not to mention you can't punish people for just talking to themselves. This is how Baby Kirk faced his first no-win scenario. Jason
I'm not really good at dialogue so I wanted to basically tell a story without it. I thought a backstory-slash spoof was the best way to go. Jason