Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #500: Memory Lane

Hello and welcome to the 500th TNG Caption This!




First up to the plate, we have the "Important Answers" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:


Picard: We've brought you here for one simple reason. We want to know: is your blood really hot pink? Because it's rather hard to take you seriously with blood that resembles digestive medicine.


Next, we have the "Even unpopular with the Klingons" Award, going to Hutchy01 for:



Khaaaaaaaan!



Next, we have the "Shining a light on the council" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:


TORAL: And my first act as Chancellor will be fix these damn lights! Seriously, I can't see a damn thing!


Next, we have the "But what was its theme music?" Award, going to Leviathan for:



A rarely seen photo from the unaired pilot of "Star Trek: Job Interview"

Next, we have the "Days of 24th Century Past" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:



Klingon: YOU ONLY JUST SORTED X-MEN CONTINUITY WITH A BIG REBOOT AND IT'S ALREADY NOT MAKING SENSE AGAIN!


Yay! Photoshops are back! The award goes to Triskelion for:


Gornophile Picard: That isn't a knife. Now that is a knife!
Thug: YOUR ACCENT IS WITHOUT HONOR!!!




The Award goes to Mojochi for:



Captain's Log, Supplemental: Nut grab... Works every time



Two KBL's this week!

First KBL goes to Noname Given for:


[Translated from the original Klingon]:
Klingons (Singing):
"Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plains,
Where the wavin' wheat,
Can sure smell sweet,
When the wind comes right behind the rain..."


Second KBL goes to GeorgeKirk for:


Korris' insistence that a "Faith of the Heart" sing-along was a traditional Klingon death ritual only intensified Worf's doubts about his new friends.




Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Wow, we have reached the 500th contest!

When I took over 300 some odd contests ago, I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be at the helm all the way to a milestone like this. Even more surprising is how many of you have stuck with me for this long! So much comedy has come out of the participant of this contest, so many days brightened, so many much needed laughs given. Thank you all for keeping this contest going every week.

Now, for our special 500th contest, I'm bringing back some of my favorite images from the early days of my work here. Because of time limitations for next weekend, I'm going to have two rounds of photos for this contest, the first round is live now, the second round will be posted next weekend (or potentially Monday if necessary) with the winners of both round being announced when I start contest 501 in two weeks.

But wait, there's more!

Starting with Contest 501, we'll be taking a journey through the seasons of TNG, starting with Season 1. Each season will get two contests, each centering on a specific episode. Who chooses which episodes? You do. Attached to this contest are a selection of episodes, for you to vote on. The top 2 choices will get their own contest.

 

Captain's Log: Why don't we have seatbelts again?



PIcard 1: If we join forces, we can have a new and better uniform next year.

Picard 2: Make it so!



Worf: Data can do this, why can't I?!



Worf: (Over comm) Worf to RIker, the Captain's shuttle is approaching.

Riker: Go to Warp 6. This chair is really comfortable.



Introducing the iData! (not in any way stolen from Android)

 

Data (singing): I...ain't got no body...




Worf: Black Friday specials at Walmart are without honor!




Data: Inquiry. Are we to perform the jump to the left and THEN the step to the right?

 

Data: "Captain, it appears the ship's internal camera systems have been taken over by the 1966 "Batman" cinematpgrapher."

Picard: "Suggestions?"

Data: "Nelson Riddle music?"





Picard, right: "Make it so."

Picard, left: "Hey! That's my line!"




"I like the vibrate and massage features, but I don't really care for the pop up dildo feature."

 

WORF: What part of "Hold the door" did you not understand?

 

TROI: You watched "Basic Instinct" last night, didn't you?

 

Counselor's Log: That damn bearded bastard yelled at me and I wasn't even at the CONN...




Riker: Soon....

 

50 Shades of Beard: "Oh ... OH ... oh yeah....."

Invisible Ro: "Commander, are you sure this will get me out of being phase shifted?"

50 Shades of Beard: "Again, yes. Tell Geordi it's his turn next..."

 

Congrats on 500 Leadhead and everyone! Here's to the next 500!
T4TW!

Data: Maybe there's a reason no captain has tried parallel parking at a starbase, Commander Show-Off!


Picard": I'm you from the future. Don't eat the pork burrito.
Picard': Is it Fiesta Thursday already?
Picard": Merde! Montezuma's Causality loop!


Riker: Come on, Worf. Pretend there's a tribble after you.



Riker: I'll call Shelby Number One, but my real Number One will always be Farrah Fawcett.


Data: No chance for loving or touching a woman ever. This must be what it's like for Geordi all the time.

 

RIKER: I have "giant green hand" in the pool. Tell me it's a giant green hand!!!

 

Tonight on Star Trek The Next Generation, Jean-Luc switches places with his look a like cousin Luc-Jean and hilarity ensues.

 

Data: ``We have arrived for our crossover with The Third Man, Captain.''
Picard: ``Thank you, Mister Data.''




Picard: ``Oh, oh jeez, not another one of these. No, shan't do it. Deal with your own spacetime anomaly clone alternate-timeline nonsense without me.''
Picard: ``That goes double for me!''
Picard: ``Now you're just encouraging them!''




Worf: ``Th-b-the-b-that's not all, folks!''




Riker: ``First officer's log. I now know how long is too long to spin in my chair.''




``Data to Counsellor Troi. Will you be able anytime soon to assist my research into the idiomatic expression `I do not know where my head has been all day'?''

 

Yay, 500!


Picard: Damn it, Wesley! I'm getting tired of this, "Do a barrell roll" merde!



Riker: So what's the plan?
Future Picard: Save us all, past, present, and future.
Picard: Tall order. Sounds wonderful.
Future Picard: Is that what you were thinking?
Picard: Yes. It's just so inspiring to hear me say it.



Worf: After all this, another bridge better not be behind these doors. Ah, crap, it's another bridge!



Riker: Acting Captain's Log-Captain Picard has been turned into a Borg. He was able to adapt their shields to our weapons and knows all of our techniques. But, on the plus side, his chair is really comfortable. Note to self-remove Stargazer bust, it's an ugly ship.



Data: Hello? Is anyone there? Hello? I've finished downloading. I'm ready to go now. Hello? Geordi? Hello?

Picard 1: I believe you meant to say, "Make it sew!"

Picard 2: It's a homophone, there's no way you'd know, oh, right, you're me. Damn it.

 

Riker smiled to himself, content in the knowledge that, while Captain Picard may have the been the first person to fart in this chair, he was no longer the only one.



"I remind you, Commander Riker, that although my enhanced olfactory senses made me the the first one to have 'smelt it', the fact that my body is laying in a Jefferies Tube on twelve decks above us means that I could not have 'dealt it'."

 

Data: Prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action.

 

DATA: "They're shaking the camera to the right, not the left."
RIKER: "Damn!"

 

Picard: Dammit Data, you said you knew how to fly! Alright starting tommorrow you will train Deanna so she can take the Conn!

 

Riker: "Reeeeealllly starting to regret recommending Ensign Frizzle for helm duty..."
Troi: "Second...that..."
Frizzle: "WAHOO!"


Worf plays the 2013 Star Trek video game...
Worf: "Why are these doors so hard to open?"
Riker: "Because it takes teamwork between you and the other guy. You think this is bad? You have to help him climb cliffs, too, but sometimes he jumps back down again. Oh, and don't get me started on that swimming in the air bit..."
Deanna (off screen): "Did you tell him about the tribbles?"
Worf: "The what?"

 

TFTW!



Even the doors can kick Worf's ass.

 

Binge-watching in the 24th century.