TOS Caption Contest #299: Captionpaw The Revenge!

Hello everyone! I know, it's been a long wait but how about we have a spooky contest to get things rolling again?




First up to the plate, we have the "Side effects include..." Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Conflict Resolution" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Pure Evil" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Exhibit A" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "NOT NOW JAMES!" Award, going to:

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Two winners of this award, first we have...

Next, we have...

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Thank you everyone for your patience. It's so easy to think I just started a contest and not realize it's been much longer than that.











Enjoy!

 

Spock: It appears we are trapped in this structure, Captain.

Kirk: Good, means the episode will be all about us.



Kirk: These gems have no value to us.

McCoy: Another couple of plates of these and I could retire...

Kirk: Bones!

McCoy: Right, no value to us.



McCoy: It's a mutiny, Jim. I'll be the Captain now.



Spock: The service here is most inefficient. My gratuity will be limited.



Kirk: It's a giant cat!

Spock: Captain, set your phaser to "pointer."

 

Rule 34.

 

SPOCK: Mr. Scott, could you please ask the Captain to pass the salt?

SCOTT: Aye, they're fighting again.



SPOCK: I suggest a hasty retreat to the ship where we contact the Ghostbusters.

 

Spock: "Captain, given our situation it may have been unwise to tell our powerful captor that his clothing looks really gay."

.

 

TFTW, LeadHead!



Korob: "Something wrong, Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "I will not eat meat."
Korob: "Oh, that's not real meat! It's a protein paste substitute made to look like meat."
Kirk: "Well, I won't eat that."




McCoy: "'Eye of newt,' eh? Just how big are the newts on this planet, anyway?"

 

MCCOY: I practically majored in Beer Pong at Ole Miss, sir!

 

Korob: "Careful, gents! He's still my little Muffy and he still just wants to play...but at this size, he'll bat the bejezzus out of you!"

 

Korob: Oh crap. I think Tiddles is hacking up a hairball.

 

KOROB: Any of you read the Harry Potter book?

KIRK: No, why?

KOROB: Because I need help and I'm fresh out of ideas.

 

Spock: Mr. Scott, please tell the Captain I'm not speaking to him.

Scotty, : But... he's... right he...

Spock: THAT'S AN ORDER!

Scotty: Ooookay. Captain, Mr. Spock says he's not speaking to you.

Kirk: Well you can tell Mr. Spock I'm not speaking to him either.

Scotty: Oh for fuck sake.





Scotty: Do you guys see Uncle Fester in a muumuu standing beside me or am I just really drunk and hallucinating him?

 

Thanks for the nod!


NBC: And don't let the door hit your asses on your way out!
<SLAM>



BONES: I recognize Harry Mudd's latest contraband!
KIRK: Venus drug?
BONES: Well, it sorta rhymes with Venus.



DE: I'm afraid that George insists you attend his wedding.
BILL: George who?




KIRK: Opinion, Spock?
SPOCK: We have achieved Lost In Space-ness this week.




KOROB: Sylvia. Now I told you not to get catty with our guests!

 

T4TW Illusive Man!



Kirk: Hey, a pretty good chance there's someone in there wearing fishnet stockings under a lab coat.
Spock: There is an equal chance there is no female of reproductive age present whatso - oh why bother, of course there is.
Bones: Well if she starts doing the Time Warp we're outta here. Right Jim?

- Jim?




Kirk: I know you've been studying Breaking Bad archive record but no, Bones, we're not interested in even knowing how you made it yellow, let alone trying it.




Bones: - and Spock can just stay there until one of you admits you ate my Rice Krispies!
Sulu: I had the Coco Pops.
Kirk: Sorry Spock. Mine was Frankenberry.
Scotty: ...
Bones: Well, Scott??
Scotty: Whisky-O's.
Bones: THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WHISKY-O'S!
Scotty: Like hell there isn't.




Spock: You call that a grace? "Good Vaal, Dead Meat, Red Shirt, let's eat?!"

 

"Out with it, Bill. Where's the bike?"

 

McCoy: "Jim, this is a testicle. It's not really a testicle, but it looks like one so I'm saying it is. In my left hand I have a penis. It's not really a penis. It's a rock that looks like a penis but I'm saying it is a penis. But appeasing Goddman butt-fucking Communist Google AdSense means we are no longer allowed to use the Penisrock image. But boy howdy, look at this testicle!!!"

 

Kirk: "Bones! For God's sake, man, think about what you're doing! I'm sure it was all just his clumsy attempt at playful banter!"
Spock: "Would it help if I told you that on Vulcan 'crotchety, old witch doctor employing beads and rattles' is a term of endearment?"

 

McCoy: Get in the chains ... They don't call me bones for nothin'!