TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Damn it, Chekov. How could you get us lost in San Francisco?

CHEKOV: The fog...was unexpected!!!

KIRK: In San Francisco??????

 

[Nerys Myk]

SECRUITY: Requesting permission to return to the ship,sir

KIRK: Why?

SECURITY: Come on!!!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I told him not to wear that shirt on a landing party.

MCCOY: Dammit Jim, it was a gift from his mother!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

McCoy: Okay, Jim, he's coming around.

Kirk: Men, that was pathetic. You call that target practice? This time, I want to see a tighter pattern!

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK: Hey loser, you didn't even shoot all right in the center sp..HUH!
BONES: Right in the butt, Jim?

 

[Classic Fan]

Kirk: "My God, Bones. What have I done?"
Bones: "What you had to do, what you always do; A few Humans, an Orion or two, a future hardcore porn star, a shapeshifter, an android, a space Indian, a chick from Earths past, a Scalosian and god knows what else in the next thirty years"

 

[Armored Saint]

Caution: High risk of smoking Starfleet officer rain today

 

[Finn]

Kirk: …While you are at it, give him something that would make him laugh. I have a bet with Sulu going on….

Bones:….

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: You heartless bastard, you know damn well what happens to a Vulcan's pants when he's forced to lie!!!!

 

[Drob]

Ponn Farr't season with no tri-ox!

Kirk: Can you remember where we parked?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Ponn Farr't season with no tri-ox!

Kirk: Can you remember where we parked?

Kirk: "No one? Damnit -- I'm gonna have to remember to tell everybody to remember where we parked, one day..."

 

[Armored Saint]

GENE COON: What the hell Shatner? **Cough** Why didn't you lighten me a cigarillo? **Cough** I didn't smoke a cigarillo since two minutes! **Cough** And where are we going? **Cough**
KIRK: I'm taking you to a doctor mister Coon!
GENE COON: **Cough** What? **Cough** Did you speak with John Meredyth Lucas? **Cough** Come one, it's just that goddamned LA smog! **Cough** It's all around us!

KIRK: No, no! My lifetime partner and friend, gone, taken away in the wink of an eye. O, Fortune, why do you mock me?
DIRECTOR (os): What the--? Bu-eh. Bill Shatner is improvising lines again!
BONES: I'm going to get the man to the sickbay. Who will help me?
KIRK: This is not a world I want to live in! It is an angry world.
DIRECTOR (os): Dammit!

 

[Avro Arrow]

Kirk: Don't worry, gentlemen, it's just an Amazon drone carrying my latest order.

Kirk: WHY WOULD AN AMAZON DRONE CARRY AN EXPLOSIVE PAYLOAD?!?

 

[Armored Saint]

NIMOY: What is Bill looking at to be that upset?
KELLEY: The news...Burger King plans to buy Tim Horton.
YARNALL: Pfff, Canadian drama.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "Run faster, Jim! Or I'll give you the branding iron again!"
*Ssssssss*
Kirk: "Yeowwww!"

 

[Avro Arrow]

NIMOY: What is Bill looking at to be that upset?
KELLEY: The news...Burger King plans to buy Tim Horton.
YARNALL: Pfff, Canadian drama.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Was that LeadHead?
Spock: No, Captain. I have not seen any sign of him.
McCoy: Hey, there's a guy over there holding up a sign that says: "Sorry for the delays, hoping to start a new contest over the weekend."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: "Surrender Dorothy"? Who's "Dorothy"?

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest is up!