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TNG Caption This! #361: Inquiry

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Picard: You know, I have done exhaustive research on the etymology of the term "douchebag". It has always fascinated me: it originates from the 20th century American lexicon. Unbelievable that such a word existed, and we had never even met a single Vulcan.
 
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Kid in striped shirt: Hey! You in the beard! I want my cookies back!

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Picard: And the 10,000th time that day where she said 'Kway-sawnt', just made me want to take my cup of Earl Grey and throw it right in her...she's right in front of me, isn't she?
 
Leadhead, I love you.

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Worf: Alright, alright, stop looking at me like that. All I said was that as far as I'm concerned, in any situation of "Security chief Vs. a Tar Pit" the security chief who losses deserves to die.


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Riker: Bloody Ebay security, it's only been a few weeks since I last had to change all my passwords because Yahoo had been compromised, I'm never going to be able to keep track of what code I'm using for which site now.


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Crusher: Trust me, you're just a hypochondriac, my full examination shows you're in perfect health for a Bolian.

Blue Man: But I'm not a Bolian!


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Picard: So is there a decent explanation for why Professor X is alive again and not blown up?

Wesley: Apparently you need to have stayed around for the post credits scene on X-Men 3. And to have paid attention to things the director said in interviews afterwards.

Picard: And as to how future Wolverine got his claws back?

Wesley: You're on your own there.


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Picard: This Battle Bridge lay out is even worse than the last one, I say we just ditch the whole saucer separation idea on the grounds we don' look anywhere near as cool here as we do on the proper bridge.
 
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SATIE: Explain the "Picard Maneuver".

PICARD: Ah, the "Picard Maneuver". Well when accelerating at warp its possible to...

SATIE: Not that, the shirt tugging thing. What the hell is that about?
 
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PICARD: I'm a man of the 24th century, I couldn't steal any cookie from a cookie jar.

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In a parallel universe, Chief Executioner Picard has developed a cruel modus operandi: mass execution by lecturing. The death is slow and painful.
 
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Satie: Schedule.
Picard: Shedule.
Satie: Schedule.
Picard: Shedule.
Satie: Schedule.
Picard: Shedule.
Satie: Kway-sawnts.
Picard: Touché.
 
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Picard: "What's his beef?"
Wesley: "Oh, we used to be best pals. We swore that if one of us ever made it into space, he'd bring the other one with him. Loser!"
 
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