DS9 Caption Context 87: Station of Looooooove

[Smellincoffee]

I spoke with Ln X, who had been doing the DS9 contests, and asked if the DS9 captions were suspended. He said he had lost interest and said I could 'take over'. This isn't a coup -- if someone else wants to do it they're welcome to join in -- but I like DS9 too much to let its forum go captionless!

So, some winners!

BASHIR: Worf,we're chaperones at a high school prom. You don't have the authority to kill a kid for spiking the punch!

Odo: I excrete myself into this cup and then drink it.
Garak: I'm going to find another seat.

Weyoun: Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let's not be hasty! I'm sure Jake had no idea he insulted you just now.
Jake: You mean when I said "Your heads resemble diseased concrete"?

Seven hours, thirty-two minutes and seventeen seconds: The precise moment when Sisko realized how foolish he was to volunteer as a referee the in the Inter-Quandrant Staring Contest Finals.

Sisko: No Dax, I don't need another one of you humorous anecdotes right now!

And funniest-of --

Weyoun: Jake, remember what Han Solo told C3PO when he was beating a Wookie at 3D chess?
Jake: Mesa getten berry, berry scared?
Weyoun: You are dead to me.

A week from Valentine's Day, this contest's theme is obvious: l'amor, but featuring some overlooked pairings..

I'll let it run up to two weeks so everybody has a chance to join in the fun.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

NOG: He's mine! You'll never come between us!
WOMAN: I'll give you five strips of latinum.
NOG: Ten and he's yours.

ZIYAL: I had my first orb experience today. The prophets said you would love me for the rest of my life.

DAX: Come on. Millions of lonely teenagers are counting on us!

MILES: Wait. So you're saying your name is Molly O'Brien, and your brother married a Japanese woman and named his daughter Keiko?
BLUESHIRT: Yes. The name Keiko is really common in my sister and law's family, and the name Molly is common in mine. Why?

INTENDANT: Come on Bareil. It's time to prove to the fans you're not boring.

 

[Nerys Myk]

NOG: If you must know, we're practicing for the station dance!

ZIYAL: I can't wait to tell Father, we are to be married!

GARAK: Telling your father or married life. I can't decide which is worse.

DAX: Quit your complaining, we almost had forehead ridges!

INTENDANT: Come on Bareil. It's time to prove to the fans you're not boring.

BAREIL: You're on top, that's about as interesting as I get.

 

[LeadHead]

Welcome to the team Smellincoffee!

Eisenberg: Cut! Isn't it a little weird that I'm in my twenties and you're having my character interested in a teenage girl?

Robinson: Cut! Don't you think it's odd that I'm in my forties and you're having my character be interested in a twenty year old?

Dorn: Cut! Don't you think it's odd that you're not having Jadzia be interested in me yet?

Odo: And if you maintain proper placement on the keyboard, you can reach the Ctrl key without losing the ability to press the space bar...

Whatley: I'm looking forward to our appointment tomorrow, Doctor. Anyway, I've got to go change into a red uniform for my away mission.

Intendant: Do as I say or I WON'T go alternate universe on you.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Odo: "See I got rid of the hair, palms too."

 

[Shik]

Nog: "Well, I didn't MAKE him for YOU..!"

Ziyal: "...and then I thought we'd sit & watch all 6 seasons of Sex And The Citadel! Oh, you'll LOVE it, Garak! Sometimes I feel like I was just like Candasa! And the CLOTHES..!"

Jadzia: "..I'm telling you, he'll sit there for hours without telling anyone."

Lenara: "It can't be good for him, though, can it?"

Jadzia: "He's Klingon. Pain is like candy for them. Can't get enough of it."

Lenara: "...But hemorrhoids, though?"

Odo: "Yeah, dat booty gots t'be at LEAST dat wide fo' me t'holla atta bitch, know'um sayin'?"

Watley: "Excuse me, gentlemen, have you seem a tall odd-looking chap with large floofy hair & an absurdly long scarf about?"

Intendant: "My mind to your mind..."

 

[bbjeg]

Thanks for the pick.

Ziyal: I woves youu.
Garak: I'm a horrible person.
Ziyal: Aww, sweetie-poo.
Garak: I fed people to themselves.
Ziyal: El oh el, hugs.
Garak: Are you daft or something?
Ziyal: Best buds Foreevaarr.
Garak: Sigh, at least the sex is great.

Odo: Do you have any idea what I can turn these hands into?
Woman: Gulp.

 

[Armored Saint]

WATLEY: Hey, you're the drug dealer from Layer Cake and you the Saladin's Chancellor from Kingdom of Heaven! I love so much Daniel Craig and Orlando Bloom!

 

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: What makes you think she's your great-grandmother?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Watley: First one of you to make a "going down?" joke gets a steel toed Starfleet boot to the nards.

 

[Armored Saint]

O'BRIEN: I must admit she looks dumb enough to be an ancestor of someone who needed some genetic improvement.

 

[Armored Saint]

KAHN: I think they're watching us!
WORF: No, we're not! So, hurry up, otherwise it's gonna be Garak and Bashir!

 

[Roddenberry]

Nog: We can kiss first, if it helps.
Jake: (To himself) Finally!

Garak: (Under his breathe) Why do I always go for girls with daddy issues?

Jadzia: Between your lifetimes and mine, have you ever known men not to like a bit of the sapphic?

Odo: But how do you release yourself from the Chinese Finger Puzzle?

Bashir: But what if I'm meant to create my own grandmother paradox?
O'Brien: Down Julian.

Bareil: I know this is the alternate universe, but can the alternate at least wait outside, she's putting me off my stride.

 

[Armored Saint]

ZIYAL: I must confess to you that I'm into BDSM...would you dare interrogate me?
GARAK: I'm off of blue pills!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ODO: I have the hands of a surgeon. If you don't believe me, ask Dr. Bashir. They're exactly like his.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Nog: Whoops! You're home early! I was going to give you this lifesize Jake Sisko doll for your birthday.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Garak desperately tries to remember which of his dresses hid the pressure-based explosive.

Lenara Kahn: "So, how do you deal with Mr. Grumpy Guts over there?"

Jadzia Dax: "I perform the Rite of Emergence and have my former hosts jape around. Right now, Curzon is making rabbit ears behind his head and Tobin is mimicking his every move while making a silly face".

"I am booking your reservation, right here. On my invisible keyboard".

 

[T'Girl]

Bashir: "You see what I mean?"

O'Brien: "Yes, the pathetic baggy fitting uniforms are a hallmark of fan film productions."

Woman: "Fukk you both, okay?"

Odo: "You can see my dear, here are both of my hand."

Woman: "Strange, I can feel a hand rubbing my butt"

Odo (thinking) **It's good to be a shape shifter**

 

[2takesfrakes]

"And this one is how I make a Tiberian Bat, when I'm playing Shadow Puppets."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"You two don't belong here, do you? You must have time-travelled back from the future, too! It's pretty obvious, since you guys don't look murky and filmic, like the rest of the original series does."