DS9 Caption Contest 84: To The Bitter End

[Ln X]

Aloha! Thanks a lot to all who participated in the last contest, and now I shall run my probability distribution program to randomly determine the winners...

Sisko: "Sorry old man, but I don't think this new control panel design of your's is going to work in ops."

Dax: "Benjamin, you're so afraid of new things."

Classic romantic tangle: boy meets girl, girl meets goo, goo meets Great Link of liquid-shapeshifters out to control the galaxy...

Garak: Excuse me, why settle for a fraudulent spy like him, when you can get the real thing over here?

DR NOAH: Hey, at least my plan to destroy the world is more logically sound than most government programs.

PABST: Tell Benny we're going ahead with it, but I want to change the name to Babylon 5

Sisko: If you have come with your spiritual problems, turn the Hell around and leave while you still can. Now. Is. Not. The. Time.

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With these five pictures may you caption to the bitter end!

Enjoy!

 

[Ln X]

Worf: Bring on the painsticks?
O'Brien: Bloody hell!

Quark: (thinking) If I play my cards right I could make a bundle saving the captain from my brother's malfunctioning holosuites.

Dukat: Has the Emissary come to gloat?

Female Changeling: No changeling has ever hurt a changeling, but you are no longer a changeling... Goodbye Odo.

Sisko: Just a simple matter of assaulting the building huh Weyoun?

 

[shivkala]

Martog: Worf, I guess I owe you 100 credits. You were right, the humans would fall for whatever torturous ideas we came up with if we claimed they were Klingon traditions!

Quark: Okay, Captain, I'll get out of here, but trust me, you'll regret not going with the new lighting scheme my source, J'jabrams is selling. I'm close to selling Starfleet on it. It's an alternate reality Starfleet, but their money still spends like ours!

Sisko: You do know that is the Earth symbol used by adolescents for centuries to signify how much you love me, right?

Sisko: I still can't believe that Changeling porn exists, let alone that Quark has some.

Bashir: Rule 34, sir.

Weyoun: You've changed your hairstyle! I don't like it.

 

[bbjeg]

Bashir: Not more Klingon Dogma.
O'brien: Worf never sang for me before.
Sisko: They're not bad
Alexander: What are they saying?

Dukat: ... but what have I done wrong?

Bashir: You could have made it a little bigger.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MEANY: I get that Klingon episodes are popular, but making us wear Klingon uniforms is a bit too much.

FEMALE CHANGELING: Push Odo. Push! The baby's almost here!

BASHIR: Wait, Odo's female?

FEMALE CHANGELING: Actually,all Changelings are female.

SISKO: Can I be the one to tell Kira?

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: I am honored that you would choose to be a part of this ceremony. Now, we will begin the ritual dance party. Computer, activate playlist: "Disco 1."

Captains Log: Quark recording. After taking control of Deep Space Nine, as part of his plan to retake DS9, Sisko has taken over the bar and is serving Creole food. This will be my last entry as Captain. Dangit.

Dukat: Think of the good times, Benjamin. Like Season 2!

Sisko: When you tried to extort a Cardassian Politician by using his long lost son as leverage?

Dukat: Bad example, Season 3!

Sisko: When you were willing to let DS9 explode if Kira didn't agree to let you put Cardassian troops on the station?

Dukat: Well, I'm hosed.

Female Changeling: ...And as a final punishment, we have given you extreme acne.

Sisko: ... As you can see, the dance floor is located in the inner chamber. Transporters can not penetrate the shielding, so we'll need bribe money to get us past the bouncer.

 

[Enterprise1981]

Bashir: "Snore! This is only about the 500th time I've heard the story of Kahless and Moroth."
O'Brien: "Oh, something that bores even the genetically engineered."

Quark: (thinking) "Whatever he's suggesting, it better not send us to Earth's past again."

Dukat: "But I'm Gul Dukat. You know who I am damn it!"

Bashir: "Wait, how did she come through the time portal fully clothed?"

Sisko: "I take it our common enemy is in that building. What's the catch, Weyoun?"

 

[Finn]

Bashir: Why not a Klingon? Dax hadn't had a threesome with Klingons in a while.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

FEMALE CHANGELING: Push Odo. Push! The baby's almost here!

BASHIR: Wait, Odo's female?

FEMALE CHANGELING: Actually,all Changelings are female.

SISKO: Can I be the one to tell Kira?

Bashir: Why? Wasn't the "Uncle Kurzon is now Aunt Jadzia" talk with Jake hard enough?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

WORF: We now begin the ritual drinking of Koraba Blood, which is poisonous to all races except Klingons.
SISKO: What?! I mean...yeah, let's do it.
WORF: ...Seriously? Well, umm...okay. There is honor in abject stupidity.

ROM: You know brother, I'm starting to think that cheating everybody as much as possible is not profitable in the long term, and we'd actually make more money if we honored contracts and made people trust us a little more.
QUARK: Putting good business sense before profit? And you call yourself a Farengi.

SISKO: Why are you here Dukat?
DUKAT: What? Can't a guy just stop buy and let his friends know how much better he is than everyone?

FEMALE CHANGELING: Goodbye Odo. Being human is really the ultimate punishment, as we know nothing about human physiology offers anybody any real pleasure.
BASHIR: *snrk*
SISKO: Ssh. Don't ruin this for Odo.

WEYOUN: As you see, Commander Sisko. Objective proof the Weyoun DNA is perfect, and that Weyouns never die.

 

[Triskelion]

Worf: Prepare yourselves for the worst. Torture, malnutrition, inhumane conditions....

O'Brien: Worse than sipping international flavored cappuccinos with Keiko's book club?

Sisko: You're making Julian cry.

 

[Nebusj]

Classic romantic tangle: boy meets girl, girl meets goo, goo meets Great Link of liquid-shapeshifters out to control the galaxy...

Hooray! Thank you kindly.

``O'Brien…remind me again just how we got drafted by the Klingons this time?''
``Hey, we're getting off easy. These are the uniforms for the Tactical Actuarial Division trainees.''

``And what, now, are we bid for this … uh … fine … gold-painted Wii controller? I have got to start looking at these things before we start the auctions.''

``I wuv ooo dis much.''
``OK, I'm unsettled by that statement in no fewer than fourteen ways.''

``Just hold on a few more minutes, we'll grow your feathers in and you'll make a fantastic turkey.''
``What?''

``And, Sisko, as you see on our genetic scan --- ''
``Wait, this isn't a genetic scan, this is the emergency exits for the library tower.''
``Um … look over there, a big distracting thing!'' [ Running away. ]

 

[Nerys Myk]

DUKAT: "Round up the usual suspect", eh Captain? There's hope for you yet, Sisko.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Bashir: Y'know, Miles, it was way more interesting when we did this on Kirk's Enterprise...

Rom: Look, brother! Kayla and Charles are finally getting back together. They've been through so much!
Quark: Either turn the channel, or give me that remote!

Sisko was getting uncomfortable with Dukat's increasingly blatant attempts to get Sisko to look at his crotch.

Female Changeling: He's dead.
Bashir: One body and three suspects, on an island only 10 square metres large. What do you think, Captain?
Sisko: What the hell, Doctor? Who do I look like to you, Shaft?!

Sisko: ... and the treasure is believed to be at the bottom of this large underground tomb.
Weyoun: I'm not going to like this, am I?
Sisko: No. And for the rest of this mission, your name is 'Short Round'.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: Thanks for the idea, Weyoun, but I'm thinking more of something more in a ranch style.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Worf: And now, the Ravishing of the Women!
Bashir, snapping awake: Yes? Yes? Women?
Worf: Hah! No. No women.
(On Bashir's groan and collapse.)
...And they say I have no sense of humor.

Quark: There it is, Rom. My own moon!
Rom: Brother, that's no moon. That's a space station.
..ohh, and they're firing at us.
Quark: COUSIN GAILA! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!

Gul Dukat: Oh, come on, Benjamin! Surely a compliment wouldn't hurt. Say it!
Sisko, resigned: Fine. Fine! Diabolical, I'll give you. But I will not refer to your latest scheme as masterfully cunning.

Sisko: What is it?
Weyoun: Plans for growing...me! Just imagine, captain, your own private Weyoun! A clone of your own, to see to your every need.
Sisko: A punching bag. It has possibilities.
Weyoun: I was hoping you'd think 'butler'.

 

[Mistral]

Weyoun: "Your move, Captain."

Sisko: "I love electronic Jenga!"

 

[shivkala]

Weyoun: As you can see, Captain, this "grassy knoll" theory is bunk. The shots had to have come from the book depository.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WEYOUN: And this "Rube Goldberg" is one of your greatest engineers?

 

[T'Girl]

Sisko: "SOMEONE TURN ON THE FUKKING LIGHTS !!!"