TNG Caption This! 329: Titan Dune

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Let's get started!

First up to the plate, we have the "Going for a walk outside" Award, going to:

Picard: Is that Data on the hull?
Worf: You did tell him to "Get out of here"
Picard: Note to self, don't tell Data idioms.

Next, we have the "Guess we'll have to try SpaceCraig'slist" Award, going to:

Picard: Merde. I was hoping to unload our inventory of vinyl sofas.

Next, we have the "Cruel and Unusual Punishment" Award, going to:

Worf: Worf to Enterprise, Captain I believe I have learned my lesson. How much longer must I stare at the wall?

Next, we have the "Lack of faith" Award, going to:

WORF: I think we should re-draw our basketball teams.

Next, we have the "Case and Point" Award, going to:

Picard: "Concerning your relationship with Ensign Lefler, Wesley, I just want to caution you that shipboard romances very rarely go well."
Wesley: "What about you and my mother?"
Picard: "Example number 1!"

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

WESLEY: Stuff your peace and love talk, get a job hippy!!!!

Captain's Log: Today was one of these rare days where I wished Beverly and Vash came down and dressed like the locals.

First Officer's Log: I wonder if I'll get Deanna back if I dressed like them.

Stewart: Ah, sorry Gene, I didn't realise you were "Casting", I'll come back later.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"I swear, she said she was 18!"

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Captain, I'd be happy to be your wingman on this trip to Risa.

Picard: Dear GOD no, Number One!

Q: Sleeping alone again, Jean-Luc?

Geordi: (under the covers) Wrong room, Q.

Q: Whoops.

La Forge: Hey, Captioners! I'm tired of these Geordi can't get a date gags on me! How about something new?

Romulans: How about some "They're behind me, aren't they?" gags instead?

Riker: (thinking) Overpowered by a Ferengi. Again. I'll NEVER live this down.

Sirtis had a less than positive reaction to the suggestion of a Worf/Troi romance.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Captain, the Borg....

PICARD: Hold that thought, I'm about to level up.

GEORDI: Relax, baby. We're all alone out here.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Riker: "Jeez, Deanna, what is your problem? Before synthetic alcohol came along, you used to find me passed out on your floor all the time!"

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Leadhead!

How can breath violate the Prime Directive?
Please Number One. Don't make me set the auto-destruct.

Picard: Please get off the duvet!
Q: Who are you, Empress Joséphine de Beauharnais?? Oh, have I snapped myself into the Chateau de Malmaison again by mistake? It's called a blanket!

Computer: List all the girls who turned you down last week.
Geordi: Oh, that's easy!
Computer: In order of contempt.
Geordi: @#$%

Riker: Is that an electric razor?
Ferengi: Move and the beard gets it!

Commander Riker wears flip flops in the shower.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead

Picard: Stop. Picard time.

Q: Come on, Jean Luc, you promised me we'd go antiquing today!

Romulan Captain: Starfleet Shuttle, your pathetic attempts at seducing that woman have caused her to lodge a complaint. According to Galactic Code 35079, you are to cease all attempts to "get into her pants," and return immediately to your ship or starbase. Refusal will result in annihilation. You have 60 seconds to comply.

Riker: Okay, this is embarrassing. I guess the only thing worse would be if some kid, who resembled the Captain, had to save my sorry ass...

Counselor's Private Log: Despite his rough exterior, I have learned that by pretending to cry, Lt. Worf will fold, every time.

 

[JohnChod]

I said I would share my Kit-Kat, not let you have the whole damn thing!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Worf: I faked every orgasm.

 

[bbjeg]

Thanks for the pick!

Picard: Not before my coffee.
Riker: Who are you, Janeway?

Q: You humans and your need for sleep. Where's that explorer's spirit during bedtime?
Picard: What part of 'piss off' do you not understand?

Geordi: They can't see you if you stand perfectly still.

Worf: I don't see what I did wrong.
Troi: You broke his arm.
Worf: He said I couldn't.
Troi: You can't.
Worf: Tell that to Beverly.
Tori: *Sigh*

 

[Cmdr.Druss]

Worf: "Want to hold my bat'leth?" *wink wink*

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "You were so drunk you thought I was Riker? Do you know how much synthale you'd have had to have drunk to make that ridiculous claim even remotely plausable?"

 

[R. Star]

Riker: I think--
Picard: No you don't. If I want to hear something stupid, I'll ask Wesley. You do what I tell you and if I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Picard: What the hell happened?
Q: You're pregnant, dear.

Imperial Warbird Khazara Log, Stardate 46533.2: You'd think this Starfleet pilot was blind or something.

Riker: I let a couple dozen Ferengi capture this ship... oh my, I'm never getting a command now.

Worf: We are mated. We must now solemnize our union with the oath!
Troi: I was drunk, Worf.
Worf: You think I wasn't?

 

[T'Girl]

Riker:
"By rotating the shield frequencies Captain, we should be able to block their "pasty faced Brit" ray"

 

[Holdfast]

That photoshop winner was inspired.

RIKER: Touch it. Go on, touch it.
PICARD: I don't want to.
RIKER: Yes you do. Everyone does. Go on, touch my chest.

Q: Well, I can tell you're a bachelor from the interior decor, but the Mickey Mouse pyjamas tell me why.

GEORDI: No, I ordered a medium, half-caf, no-foam, skinny, vanilla soy latte. This is clearly a medium, half-caf, no-foam, full fat, vanilla soy latte. Please make it again.
ROMULAN CAPTAIN (muttering): Jesus! All I want is a single espresso to go.

RIKER (thinking): Shit! I forgot the safety word!

TROI: Not now darling, I have a headache.
WORF: Funny how quick they come on, isn't it?

 

[Cmdr.Druss]

Worf: "Who was the bald one? Do not deny it, I saw you leave his office"
Troi: "Worf that was Captain Picard... He's in charge of the ship"
Worf: "I forbid you to speak with him again"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for the belly laugh LH!

Picard: No! No Breaking Bad final spoilers! I only started season 1 this week!

De Lancie: Wait, why am I fully dressed but you're in a outfit that shows off your chest and legs?

Stewart: Because only one of us is a sex symbol who has to look good for the lady viewers. And it aint you.

Geordi: This may not be the right moment to mention this, but honestly, it's this big.

Frakes: OK Mr. Baird, I'll let you direct Nemesis.

Worf: Wow, guest spots on Voyager? At least I went onto the good spin-off.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

RIKER: Captain, I think it's time we changed the color scheme on the bridge. It's starting to cause depression and nausea among the crew.
PICARD: Screw off.

PICARD: And for the last time, stop eating cookies in the bed!

TREKKIE (OS): Now Levar, say the line, like I told you.
LEVAR BURTON: Okay, I'll do whatever you want, now put away the gun! Captain, Romulan vessel approaching! Readying evasive maneuvers!
TREKKIE (OS): Good. Next we film the scene where you fall in love with the charismatic Romulan commander. I'll get in costume.

RIKER: Okay! I'm sorry I insulted your tiny phaser! I'm sure it doesn't imply that anything else is small!

WORF: So I was thinking maybe we should date.

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Sir, about the Romulan warbird decloaking off our starboard bow -
Picard: Hold that thought, Number One. Dixon Hill is one booger away from solving the Mystery of the Sticky Helm.

 

[TommyR01D]

...and I had a full house!