TNG Caption This! 318: Proper Observation

[LeadHead]

Good evening everyone! Well, it may not still be the weekend where you are, but it is for me and I can proudly say that I've gotten this contest started during the weekend! Yay!

First up to the plate, we have the "Airplane!" Award going to:

Geordi: Due to a serious shipwide malfunction, the ship must be towed back to Starbase 12.
Picard: What is it?
Geordi: A big mushroom in space, but that's not important right now.

Next, we have the "Marked for Invasion" Award, going to:

TROI: Not again! Why does every energy creature go inside ME?!

Next, we have the "Fundamentals of the Relationship" Award, going to:

Picard: You and Vash? Well it seems only appropriate she's wearing the pants.
Q: Big talk from a man in a dress.

Next, we have the "Secret Deals" Award, going to:

PICARD: Interesting, according to this you had no Engineering experience when I made you Chief Engineer. You seemed to pick it up real quick. How'd you that?

O'BRIEN (os):***Cough***

LAFORGE: Oh, yeah. O'Brien would like to be Chief of Operations on DS9. Can you put in a good word?

PICARD: That should be an officer's post, but I'll see what I can do.

LAFORGE: Thanks.

Next, we have the "Wardrobe Malfunction" Award, going to:

Worf: *Thinking* If I stick behind the horseshoe the Captain might not notice I forgot my trousers.



Again.

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Geordi: "And this is my latest work that I'm planning to submit in the annual Enterprise art show."
Picard: "What's it called?"
Geordi: "Four lights."
Picard: "Excellent."

Captain's Log, as unpleasant as it was having my parents explain it, somehow, Q and Vash sitting me down for "The Talk" is even more uncomfortable.

LaForge: "There's no question, Captain. The captain's cabin in the Oberth-class definitely has more closet space than in the Galaxy-class."
Picard: "Bastards!"

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

Let us return to the realm of Blu-ray images!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: Geordi, did you mistake this guy for Picard again?!

Data: I do not understand why everyone called in sick on Superbowl Sunday, the best viewscreen on the ship is right here.

Data: Ah-Ha! She wears cheap knock off shoes!

Runner that just passed Tasha: I hear Worf's gonna get your job!

Picard: (in the ready room) Not until I've had my tea!!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Attempts to show Picard can be easily recast in order to lower the cost of Patrick Stewart's contract were unsuccessful.

DATA: Captain's log. I have successfully improved ship's efficiency. My analysis has shown that all efficiency problems stem from human error, therefore I have eliminated all humans. With all ship's operations wired into my positronic matrix, I project now that efficiency of ship's operations will increase by 37%.

DATA: It appears this Sherlock Holmes recreation is based on the 21st century movies rather than the original source material. Therefore I must now kick the enemy's ass.

TASHA: Do we really need to run? It's only Wesley.

BEVERLY: Is it true what they say about Klingons?
WORF: No. Our size is quite average, actually.
BEVERLY: Oh. Nevermind then.

 

[Triskelion]

Forge LaGeorge: Oh, an exciting development, folks! Looks like the lady in blue just disqualified herself from winning the Space Invaders home arcade console. Too bad, looks like the odds are shifting against a kiss for the winner!

Second officer's log, supplemental: inertial dampeners, then engage.

Sherlock Soong: If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth!

LaWatson: I still say ligers are damned improbable, Holmes!

Crosby: Faster! The fanboys are gaining on us!

Whorf: What I tell you? Prune juice is the shiznit.
Bevy: Do not go in there!

 

[Nebusj]

``I don't know, Beverley, just put that Worf in the kitchen or something. Do I have to unpack everything around here?''

``Ship's log, supplemental. So they all rolled over and one fell out ... ''

``I don't get it, Data --- er, Mister Holmes. If the sign is right this should be the cat store and yet ... ''
``Fascinating, Mister Watson. This shoe appears to contain a primitive communicator-like device called a `phone'.''

``Five, six, seven, eight, schlemiel, schlemozzle! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated'

What do you suppose that tall, skinny display panel is for? Does it just warn when somebody's approaching the ready room with a teensy tiny bit of cleavage showing? And if so, did they install it so Picard would know when Riker was getting all Riker-y?

 

[Third Nacelle]

BEV: I'm all done with my personnel review. Your turn now. Bring a towel.

TROI: With a matte painting of some water towers, this would look a lot like home.

Personal Log: Worst. Birthday. Ever.

 

[Vassa]

Stunt Double:So let me get this straight, I am suppose to catch the prop Levar tosses to me? Uhm, why isn't...

Director (Off-screen): To quote, "When Patrick Stewart says, 'No Stunts, he damn well means No Stunts'!"

Gates McFadden: Will you please hurry up, we can't hold these poses for much longer!

Overhead speaker: Buses now boarding! Lane 4, express service to Boise. Lane 7, express service to Cleveland. Lane9 express service to Hell.

Data: Finally...

Geordi: The hookers are a nice touch, Data.

 

[Ln X]

Captain Picard on the comm system: This is your captain, as per Starfleet's transparency policy on covert surveillance, I must inform you all that I have installed hidden cameras in all the female crew's quarters and every married officer's quarters. That is all...

Data's social awkwardness reached such a point that NO one wanted to work with him when on the bridge, which suited him quite fine.

Geordi: What do you think Data?
Data: This my dear Geordi is a clue, note that this boot is of standard-issue Starfleet uniform, the heavy wear around the heel of the boot indicates our individual is a captain or first officer, for command-level officers are prideful and stomp their authority wherever they go.
Furthermore the fallen pip on the floor indicates caressing on the part of our individual or his respective date, though I suspect the date was a woman whom engaged in foreplay first because our suspect loves to role play. The faint trace of perfume, of a type used only by doctor Crusher, indicates that this boot must be none other than that of captain Picard's, for I recall doctor Crusher leaving the captain's ready room in a disheveled state. Thus implying romantic and or sexual liaisons between the two.
The mere fact this boot was here indicates the pair were in a considerable state of haste during their date, thus we should investigate the nearest bedsits and hotels and catch the two in the act!
Geordi: Lead on Watson!

Tasha: Come on Worf, exercise shall set you free!

Worf thinking: I have always wondered what is underneath a female officer's uniform.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Everyone: [thinking] Wait, when did Picard have time to grow a beard?

Data: [singing] I'm so loney...

La Forge: Geez Data, I've got a VISOR and you've got android-vision, there really is no need for the magnifying glass.

Yar: These levitation belts are amazing!
Troi: They eliminate any need for a sports bra!

Crusher: Cruisher: Mr Worf, I'm not trying to seduce you.
Worf: I know that, but please, Doctor Crusher, this is difficult...
Crusher: Would you like me to seduce you?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Data: "Note to self for future reference: 'If you don't like it, you can leave' is not a good command reprimand."

Data: "We are in luck, Watson! Examination of the materials and techniques used to manufacture this shoe should allow us to determine which cobbler made it. Chemical analysis of the amount of oxidation in the rubber sole should tell us when it was made. Then, if the cobbler keeps sales records..."
LaForge: "Or...we could just talk to that lady with the missing shoe over there."

On Risa:
Troi: "Are 'Hercules' and 'Apollo' still following us?"
Yar: "Yes, but they seem to be tiring."
Troi: "Maybe we should slow down. After all, we don't want them wearing themselves out before they catch us."

Crusher (coming out of ready room): "Oh, Worf! The captain and I..."
Worf: "Stop! Before you say anything else, TMI!"

 

[Holdfast]

GATES MCFADDEN: So, this is my "shocked" face.
DENISE CROSBY: Those acting lessons are really paying off, huh.
MICHAEL DORN: Yeah, like you're one to talk.
LEVAR BURTON: Please, you're all terrible.
GENE DYNARSKI: Can someone check my contract? There's got to be some way I can wriggle out of this gig. Seriously, even working with a video game cast would be better than this.

DATA: My new friendship protocols do not appear to be having the desired effect.

DATA: Damn. You're right. It is dogshit.

YAR: Flight Mode Engaged!

CRUSHER (walking unsteadily): I should never have prescribed him that blue tablet.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "Wesley has been calling up here looking for you. If there's any kind of story you need me to get straight, you'd better tell me now."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Personal Log: I guess my 'Air biscuits' really can clear a room

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: It's standard operating procedure. The Captain always beams down a double first.

DATA: Look Captain, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

WORF: I don't recall ordering any Pizza.

DATA: This shoe belongs to a woman, approximately five feet two inches tall, with red hair. She wore a blue dress and a white coat. She also speaks with a cockney accent and is left handed.

LAFORGE: You can tell all that from a shoe?

DATA: She did throw it at me.

TASHA: Do you have to hum Yakety Sax?

 

[shivkala]

As always, TFTW. You keep posting the pictures, and I'll keep trying my best to entertain with them!

LeVar Burton: Has anyway ever told you that you look exactly like...

Gene Dynarski: Patrick Stewart, yes, damn it, I've heard it a hundred times. Geez, I was expecting that out of this lot, at least you would be a bit more professional about it...

LeVar Burton: I was going to say, "Ben Kingsley," but never mind then...

Data: Second Officer's log. At last, I am alone. No more carbon based lifeforms. And the best thing, the very best thing of all, is there's time now... there's all the time I need and all the time I want. Time, time, time. There's time enough at last.

*Data goes to look at a computer screen, but in doing so his android eyes fall out of his head. In his blindness, he steps on them.*

That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was, was all the time I needed...

Data: Geordi, I do not see any gum residue on this shoe.

Much to Troi's dismay, somehow Tasha found a way to photobomb every picture she ever posed for.

Worf: Human females are so repulsive.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CROSBY: We lost them, Marina. For some reason all the fans followed Patrick and Brent.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "Say, this place is pretty kewl without all the meat-bags around!"

 

[Finn]

Data: Computer, remind me to thank Commander Riker in the morning. His idea of installing hidden cameras in sonic cameras worked out well. I learned Tasha has an excellent signing voice.

 

[Mojochi]

Worf: Adjust your visor, stop calling Commander Quinteros captain, & remind me to never call you as an eyewitness in a criminal trial

Tam Elbrun was right. This really is much better

Data: Finally! There can be no argument, Watson! The game is a foot

Tasha: No, seriously, when the Edo men run, you can see their junk

The dancing doctor strikes again

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crosby: "Hey, Marina! You think they're trying for a 'jiggle' scene here?"
Sirtis: "Just be glad Roddenberry's not still calling the shots! We'd be running in high heels and thongs!"