And now there'll be no more Picards...

[RandyS]

By no means. Becoming a father is not only the most irresponsible thing I could do, but it would be a crime far worse than anything Hitler and bin Laden did.

Self-aggrandize much?

No. I honestly feel that as a disabled man who has problems taking care of himself, it would be irresponsible of me to bring a child into this world that I would then be unable to care for because of my failing health.

That's all I meant. Ego doesn't even enter into it.

 

[iguana_tonante]

General question for those people from countries where the norm is for the woman to keep her own name - what surname do the children get?

In Italy, they usually take the father's name. In Spanish- and Portuguese-speaking countries, they take both.

 

[lfvoy]

General question for those people from countries where the norm is for the woman to keep her own name - what surname do the children get?

Among my contemporaries here in the United States, the children have taken the father's last name. Most of my friends will accept being called "Mrs. [husband's surname]" in certain circumstances, such as the kids' school functions, but they are quite adamant about use of their own name in professional situations and similar.

I have one friend who hyphenated his last name with his wife's when they got married (so did she). So both parents have the same last name, and so does their child, but it still also includes the wife's surname.

 

[Starbreaker]

I want to get married and have kids one day, but I'm pretty sure that's not ever going to happen, so I'm okay with it. My little brother can have that responsibility.

 

[Tom Hendricks]

I didn't get married until I was 39 and had my first son Ian at 41 and my second Aaron at 43. I never thought I was going to get married after breaking up with my ex fiancee. I languished in dating hell for several years before meeting my wife. I even seriously considered joining a monastery. I was going to give up all my worldly possessions and become a hermit. However I'm far happier with my wife and family.

My younger brother was married, had three kids and was divorced long before I met my wife. In fact his oldest just turned 17, considering my oldest is 3. I guess the lesson here is that it can happen for anyone at anytime.

 

[Theodore Jay Miller]

I've never been married or had kids, and don't expect to, but my sister and brother are both married with children. My sister took her husband's name, and the kids have it. My sister-in-law kept her name, and their kids have her last name, because my father had several brothers who passed on the Miller family name, while her father didn't have any sons or brothers.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Though my three children were given my husband's surname at birth, two of them have legally changed to my surname since becoming adults.

One my father's side, his brother's daughter has grandchildren with a different surname, my sister has grandchildren with different surnames.

However I have a male second cousin with my surname and he has two sons and three daughters so the surname has a good chance in surviving along that branch.

Going back further along the tree, my great grandfather had ten children so I have no doubt that the family name is continuing through one of them.

It isn't a uncommon surname. Four unrelated families had the same surname in Tasmania when transportation ended in the mid-1850s.

 

[Kestra]

I feel more reading the loss of culture, than anything. When my parents came to this country they did so to give us a better life, but there are good aspects of that culture that I fear we will lose as well. I try to look at it from a positive outlook most of the time. Marrying someone from another culture allows us to blend the best of both worlds, and I think our lives are richer because of it. But if I had kids, they wouldn't know Bengali, they wouldn't grow up listening to Kishore Kumar, they won't watch Mahabharat every night. I mean yes, I could try to pass everything on but even with my parents, they realized that living in another world means assimilating into it. We weren't born in India and to recreate my parents' upbringing with us would have been artificial. And to attempt to recreate my upbringing with my children wouldn't accurately represent everything that is important to my husband.

I'd hope to strike a balance but who knows!

 

[RoJoHen]

My culture is "white American." I'm not really worried about that dying out any time soon.

 

[spooky spice]

No. I honestly feel that as a disabled man who has problems taking care of himself, it would be irresponsible of me to bring a child into this world that I would then be unable to care for because of my failing health.

That's all I meant. Ego doesn't even enter into it.

I salute you, sir. It frightens me how many people insist on having a child, despite their having a disability. They don't seem to give much thought to the child...

And I speak as the child of a disabled father. I did harbour a resentment that I had to be his caregiver (I was until he passed away BTW). I'm fairly certain that was the reason I have never married or had kids, I was 'otherwise' occupied and couldn't date, or anything that would lead to a relationship.

Do you feel a responsibility to carry on your family line?

Nope, there are cousins of mine [on both sides] who have kept the genepool stocked with DNA.

 

[Finn]

As of now, there are currently three males of the younger generation who would carry on our surname.

 

[Bisz]

This is something that has been weighing heavily on me as time passes by.

My answer is a most emphatic yes, but it would seem for a reason entirely different than any of the ones discussed in this thread.

I'm not concerned about the last name continuing, or about the "culture" or any of that.

What I am concerned about is not doing justice to the lives and efforts of my parents and grandparents.

I am my dad's only child. My mother re-married and I have one half-brother. My maternal grand-parents had my mother and a son, who has one child. So, a very small family.

These are all people I love, who spend not inconsiderable effort over not inconsiderable amounts of time raising children, with me being the result. I would like to make sure that all that effort and love they put in making me the person I am today was not a waste, that I will be able to pass it on to the next generation.

 

[Balrog]

I do not. But it was felt in the family. My grandfather and father always talked of carrying on the family name. I have an older brother. When he had a son, that torch was passed to him.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Nowadays it is quite easy for daughters to carry on the family name.

 

[Kira Nerys]

I dont feel a responsibility to get married and have children .I am content to be single.

 

[Balrog]

Nowadays it is quite easy for daughters to carry on the family name.

It's very true and they do. I would think this practice will make the study of genealogy easier in the future.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Looks like my sister is doing that just not the family name, at 50 I don't see my self doing it, (though I would like to), women just don't want me in that way, no matter how well I treat them.

 

[RoJoHen]

Sometimes I think to the future and wonder, if I don't manage to have kids the traditional way, or if I don't find a mate to spend my life with, what about adoption? I've genuinely never had much of a desire for a romantic relationship or to get married, but I think I would make an awesome dad. If I could reproduce asexually, I probably would.

 

[ares93]

Its pretty difficult to adopt if yer single. Especially in the States, where I assume you live. Its not impossible of course, but its frowned upon.

However it will end up, mate, good luck to yer.

EDIT: While on the subject. Personally, I've wanted kinds since me niece was born. Alright so she's not technically me niece since were not related, but blood isn't the only thing that counts imo. But anyways, the first time I held her I realized that I wanted kids too. Me mam already ordered a granddaughter. We'll see about that...

 

[RoJoHen]

Yeah, I'm not really worried about it right now, and I have no intentions of doing anything for a good, long while.