Sexy or Creepy?

[SmoothieX]

Don't assume you can grab boobs in public. Always check first to see if it's okay.

Better?

Can I grab your moobs in public?

 

[RoJoHen]

I don't have moobs.

 

[Gryffindorian]

It all depends what type of person you are, I suppose. The fact that you initially weren't sure whether the event was creepy or sexy indicates you fall somewhere in the middle of the two extremes (I imagine neither vote nor answer will agree with you completely). Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

This. Haw, haw, haw. Crreepy? Non! Romantic? Oui, oui, oui!

I voted Sexy because, as you stated, you welcomed his advances. You let him walk with you. He wasn't a hideous or repulsive guy. You had a little friendly chat. And ... this is the most important thing ... It happened in NEW YORK. It also says a lot about your personality: you're friendly, outgoing, and adventurous.

If I was walking in downtown Oakland and was randomly French-kissed by a hobo, I'd knock him down! If I was walking at the Embarcadero in SF and was French-kissed by a handsome gay guy, I'd consider it a compliment!

 

[Holdfast]

I vote: "Well-executed, with good improv skills".

Ten-to-one, the dude is a shrewd cookie, understands people well and is comfortable using that knowledge to his advantage. I massively doubt this was all just pure chance. Whether those listed traits are good or bad depends a great deal on individual perspective, whether one is aware of the emotional manipulation involved, and whether one is the kind of person who is easily taken advantage of or not.

There really isn't an easy way to draw the line between the day-to-day deliberate (if casual) manipulation of situations to personal advantage and it becoming harmful. That's why this thread exists, of course. Incidentally, it's also why lawyers & courts remain in gainful employment.

It's eye of the beholder, with an additional layer of legal protection when the individual cannot judge for themself and the state or other litigant feels harm has been done. Bottom line, I'm in the "different strokes" camp on this one, and unless some significant harm is done, I don't think I've any way of judging otherwise.

 

[Amaris]

Same here As well as with the physical part. I'm polite though most of the time and let people be. But mostly, human contact is great.

Exactly.

First of all, so true. Know of way too many hot girls that I have zero interest in because they have such shite personalities. And the other way around as well.

And J, I agree about our mutual friend. From what I've heard it's great, I'm very happy for him. Think it's great that they're going forth with it despite what other people think.

She's a wonderful person, and I'm just so happy for the both of them. You know, I've known him for a good number of years, and considering his past luck with relationships, this was just a blessing for him. You can see the positive change in him.

Now, to this thread. I noticed something and I just have to ask: if a Frenchman is French kissing, wouldn't that mean he's just 'kissing'?

 

[Maestro]

Sorry, tsq, but the only one who knows is you. Was it creepy or sexy?

 

[RJDiogenes]

Thank you, RJ, you beat me to what I was gonna say. Lots of people gone overboard about what is 'creepy. Skeletor is creepy, zombies are creepy, debunkers are creepy, what happened here is not creepy, it was quite cool, I think.

Very cool. I don't know whether I should be sad that almost two thirds of responders voted "Creepy" or encouraged that, in the current political climate, more than a third voted "Sexy." I suppose I should be optimistic and find it encouraging.

Pardon my ignorance or presumption here... But I would suspect the most "skilled" "molesters" know how to play the angles to let their mark think they are in charge and "allowed" something to happen when reality is very different.

I don't think it works like that. Why would they let them think they're in charge? People who sexually assault others probably do it for the power thing.

Exactly. He wasn't a molester; he was a seducer.

I vote: "Well-executed, with good improv skills".

 

[{ Emilia }]

Fact: 100% of Italians in this thread voted "sexy".

 

[doubleohfive]

That's because Italians are awesome.

 

[Balrog]

Are you sure this guy wasn't Christopher Walken in an ascot and pencil thin mustache asking if you would like some "champagnya"?

 

[trampledamage]

Since this isn't a movie (even with Emher's great scene-setting ) I don't think it's possible to properly judge sexy or creepy since we don't have his motives. Is he really French? Has he been propositioning every girl that walked by?

We have your side of events. You felt in control, you don't feel violated and you obviously weren't carted off to a nearby van. I say, enjoy it. Take it for the romantic, sexy moment that it appears to be.

(am very jealous )

 

[RJDiogenes]

Hopefully he was not a faux Frenchie.

 

[trampledamage]

I'm letting the romantic side of me enjoy the story.

 

[Trekker4747]

People have jumped into bed after less, luv'. I wouldn't say it was creepy. Personally i rather think it was romantic. A kiss on a bridge is a classic.

I don't know how "romantic" it is to french and grope someone you've only theoretically known for a few minutes.

 

[Shazam!]

I wonder how many people he tried it on with before he got to you.

 

[{ Emilia }]

I don't know how "romantic" it is to french and grope someone you've only theoretically known for a few minutes.

It.
depends.
on.
the.
situation.

We have your side of events. You felt in control, you don't feel violated and you obviously weren't carted off to a nearby van. I say, enjoy it. Take it for the romantic, sexy moment that it appears to be.

(am very jealous )

Weee, another reasonable person.

 

[Amaris]

People have jumped into bed after less, luv'. I wouldn't say it was creepy. Personally i rather think it was romantic. A kiss on a bridge is a classic.

I don't know how "romantic" it is to french and grope someone you've only theoretically known for a few minutes.

If the sentiment is reciprocal, then it's not an issue, now is it?

 

[thestrangequark]

Oh dear lord, some of the responses in this thread are so reactionary, so paranoid, and so ridiculous that it's blowing my mind. I can't be bothered to answer each individually, but have to say, while my mind was not made up when I started this thread last night, it's made up now: it was sexy. It was a sexy, romantic, whimsical thing to do. It won't lead to anything, most likely, but it's a nice memory. Emilia, has everything right.
As for why it took me a little time to make up my mind, the reason is simple, and it's certainly not because I was "manipulated," "molested," or "assaulted," it's because the experience pushed the boundaries of what I've done before, it took me slightly out of my comfort zone in a perfectly safe and harmless way. Of course it'll take a little time to make up my mind about how I feel! And I still feel it is incredibly offensive to use words like predator, molestation, or assault to describe what happened. It is both offensive to me, as an intelligent, world-travelled, street savvy individual whose had to take care of herself since she was 12 years old, by presuming that I can't handle myself. And it's offensive to anyone who has actually been a victim of a real assault by diminishing what they've gone through.
Flirting is not molestation! Kissing someone who reciprocates is not assault! What sort of paranoid world are you people living in where this behavior could call for such terms? It blows my mind that I, someone who has actually been molested and sexually assaulted in the past, seem to have a much more healthy attitude toward sex! If I seem defensive toward those who think the behavior was creepy, it's because a lot of those posts are coming of as extremely condescending and subtly sexist. I am a grown woman. I am not naive. I'm not stupid. I don't put myself in dangerous situations but I know how to handle them should they arise.

What a sad, xenophobic life I would be living if I couldn't flirt with a stranger, kiss someone in public, or give a good-looking man my phone number!

As for the boob thing, as it seems to be a point of contention... to those who said the kiss was okay but the copping a feel was too far, how is it that sticking his tongue in my mouth is fine but putting his hand on my breast (over a winter sweater and wool coat, nonetheless!) during a passionate kiss is going too far? What sort of logic is that? It's not as if he stuck his hand down my bra! My goodness!

 

[Trekker4747]

I don't know how "romantic" it is to french and grope someone you've only theoretically known for a few minutes.

It.
depends.
on.
the.
situation.

Nope. Don't buy it. In the real world people don't fall madly, passionately, in love inside of a few minutes to the point of kissing and feeling one another up. At the end of an hours long date?

Perhaps.

But after only having idle chit-chat for a few minutes? I see no real way love could have sparked inside of that time to the point of calling for a deep french kiss and a feel-up.

 

[Amaris]

Oh dear lord, some of the responses in this thread are so reactionary, so paranoid, and so ridiculous that it's blowing my mind. I can't be bothered to answer each individually, but have to say, while my mind was not made up when I started this thread last night, it's made up now: it was sexy. It was a sexy, romantic, whimsical thing to do. It won't lead to anything, most likely, but it's a nice memory. Emilia, has everything right.
As for why it took me a little time to make up my mind, the reason is simple, and it's certainly not because I was "manipulated," "molested," or "assaulted," it's because the experience pushed the boundaries of what I've done before, it took me slightly out of my comfort zone in a perfectly safe and harmless way. Of course it'll take a little time to make up my mind about how I feel! And I still feel it is incredibly offensive to use words like predator, molestation, or assault to describe what happened. It is both offensive to me, as an intelligent, world-travelled, street savvy individual whose had to take care of herself since she was 12 years old, by presuming that I can't handle myself. And it's offensive to anyone who has actually been a victim of a real assault by diminishing what they've gone through.
Flirting is not molestation! Kissing someone who reciprocates is not assault! What sort of paranoid world are you people living in where this behavior could call for such terms? It blows my mind that I, someone who has actually been molested and sexually assaulted in the past, seem to have a much more healthy attitude toward sex! If I seem defensive toward those who think the behavior was creepy, it's because a lot of those posts are coming of as extremely condescending and subtly sexist. I am a grown woman. I am not naive. I'm not stupid. I don't put myself in dangerous situations but I know how to handle them should they arise.

What a sad, xenophobic life I would be living if I couldn't flirt with a stranger, kiss someone in public, or give a good-looking man my phone number!

As for the boob thing, as it seems to be a point of contention... to those who said the kiss was okay but the copping a feel was too far, how is it that sticking his tongue in my mouth is fine but putting his hand on my breast (over a winter sweater and wool coat, nonetheless!) during a passionate kiss is going too far? What sort of logic is that? It's not as if he stuck his hand down my bra! My goodness!

My interpretation is that he was so taken by your kiss, that he needed to steady himself lest he be overwhelmed.

I don't know how "romantic" it is to french and grope someone you've only theoretically known for a few minutes.

It.
depends.
on.
the.
situation.

Nope. Don't buy it. In the real world people don't fall madly, passionately, in love inside of a few minutes to the point of kissing and feeling one another up. At the end of an hours long date?

Perhaps.

But after only having idle chit-chat for a few minutes? I see no real way love could have sparked inside of that time to the point of calling for a deep french kiss and a feel-up.

Bullshit. They most certainly do fall in love after a few moments, or haven't you heard of "love at first sight"?