Star Trek XI Caption Contest #32: Parents just don't understand

[Nerys Myk]

But first:

DESIGN STAR AWARD

Kirk (to self): "The problem isn't that the curtains don't match the drapes. The problem is that nothing matches the wallpaper."

PHILOSOPHY FIGHT!!!! AWARD

Cupcake: … and in the Fifth Meditation, Descartes demonstrates the existence of God from the idea of a supremely perfect being!

Kirk: Descartes is full of shit man! As Kant pointed out, ontological arguments are vitiated by their reliance on the implicit assumption that "existence" is a predicate!!

Uhura: Hey chill guys, lets get back to discussing something less controversial like bestiality.

 

[Nerys Myk]

And now, this contest's pics:

 

[6079SmithW]

Spock- Father, may I ask you a question?

Sarek- What is it, son?

Spock- Who shot first: Greedo or Han?

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Spock: And they called mommy a whore, so I kicked them in the balls.

Sarek: That was quite logical, son.

 

[Finn]

Spock: Beam us up, Scotty! The mall cops are getting closer!

 

[JarodRussell]

Spock: And they called mommy a whore, so I kicked them in the balls.
Sarek: That was quite logical, son.

It actually went like this:

Spock: And they called mommy an old whore, so I kicked them in the balls.
Sarek: That was an unneccessary act of violence. She is not that old.

 

[UFO]

Thanks for the win.

Sarek: I hear you had a fight at school today.
Spock: (Silence)

Sarek: (Silence)
Spock: (Silence)

Sarek: (Silence)
Spock: (Silence)

Sarek: (Silence)
Spock: (Silence)

Sarek: Well son, I'm pleased we've had this little chat. We will speak no more about it.

Spock: It's going to be OK mother. They'll beam us up in a few seconds, just stand over there ...

 

[Vassa]

No Spock, "A Dare" is not sufficient reason to invert half the city.

What the hell is a Gorn doing here?!?

 

[huskers57]

Spock: Well, Father, er, the other kids called Mom a tin plated over bearing swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood.
Sarek: Is that all?
Spock: No, they also compared her with a Denebian slime devil.
Sarek: I see.
Spock: And then they said that she was...
Sarek: I get the picture, Spock.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001150/

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "But I didn't mean to do anything bad! T'Pring just said she wanted to show me how to grok!"
Sarek: "You realize you're going to have to marry her now, don't you?"

Amanda: "This place...reminds me of Vasquez Rocks!"
Spock: "'Vasquez Rocks'? With Lee Van Cleef as Vasquez? Oh, man, my favorite movie of all time!"

 

[NathanielM]

Sarek: You know Spock, you are strong with the force.
Spock: I know father.

Spock: Two to beam up...
Communicator: Please deposit 25 cents for another 10 minutes...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Sarek: "Believe me, son, staying cooped up here in your room and staring out the window will only make you more depressed. Especially the staring out the window part."

 

[Woulfe]

Star Trek : Around & around we go....

Sarek : Son

Spock : Dad

( this exchanges goes on for about 1 min )

Sarek : Are we going to discuss your transgression at School today ?

Spock : No, we are not, they were all poopy-heads & deserved the kick to the nads I gave them all

Amanda : Son

Spock : Mom

( this exchange also last about 1 min )

Amanda : Are we going to talk about your transgression at school you had many years ago when you were a kid ?

Spock : You know if you keep bringing that up Mom, I just might leave you here to die a horrible, painful death

Amanda : So I take that as a No, Yes ?

 

[Bob Karo]

Sarek: We shall tell your mother we consumed it all.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Machine Gun Picard Tours the Caption Contests

PICARD: Die Red Matter scum!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Here's a png of Machine Gun Picard for any who want to use him:

 

[LeadHead]

Sarek: Logic offers us a serenity humans seldom experience.

Spock: Actually the humans had watched Serenity long before Vulcans did.

Spock: Spock to Enterprise, get us out now!

Uhura: (over comm) Spock, I think we should see other people...

Spock: Oh %$*&!

 

[Isis]

Thanks for last time's win, Myk. I find your captions consistently laughter-provoking, so this is a real honor.

Sarek: "The one down-side to a sehlat is you'll have to clean up its poop. You in?"