TNG Caption This #215: Riker, William T.

"Okay, now it's time to add the conditioner...."

 

Picard: (to himself) Installing the one-way mirror in Riker's bedroom was a fantastic idea.

 

Riker didn't remember sleeping on the bridge for most of the previous night, but he did wake up extremely disappointed that the young woman in his dream was no more responsive than a piece of wood.

 

Only too late did Riker realize he should have emptied his bowels before he went on his shift that day.

 

Thanks for the win



Riker: "Honestly sir her ID said she was 21"

 

"See that, Worf? Four hundred press-ups on one hand! BEEFCAAKE!"



"Don't disturb me, Will - I'm about to beat my personal best on Kinect Dance Central."

 

Riker: Fincher is changing the ending of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? Fuck this.

 

Spiner: "Whoa..."
Frakes: "Holy sh*t!"
Sirtis: "That looks like... 50,000 people. 50,000! And I brought only 2 Sharpies!"

 

Riker: "About time you found me."
Picard: "It's hide and seek. What person in their right mind would put themselves in a detention cell?"
Riker: "And that's precisely why I came here."
Picard: *sigh*

 

Worst. Strip Show. Ever.

 

The crossover between TNG and "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" was not well received. In fact, it was felt to be a pointless rehash of DS9's "Little Green Men," as well as about three-quarters of episodes of "The X-Files."

 

Riker prepares for his forthcoming role as "Human Sacrifice #1" in Dr. Crusher's adaptation of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.



Data: "Congratulations, Sir. You're pregnant."

 

Holoscreen roulette sometimes went awkwardly wrong.




RIKER: See? The stud finder works!




DATA: You are correct, Worf. Smooth as a porcupine's bottom.
RIKER: I don't care what you say. The beard stays!




RIKER: The Captain's wearing the assless chaps again.
TROI: My eyes!




Riker was determined to find the gloryhole rumored to be on the bridge.

 

We finally get to see the only toilet on the Enterprise, and it's occupied.

 

Riker: "Oh no. I'll lose my cute figure."

 

Good one, Kirby! I've supplied the appropriate furnishings.

 

Riker: "You don't think I have any heart, Deanna? Here. I'll show you!"

 

Picard: "Number One! That's not the toilet! It's the bunk!"
Riker: "The bunk? Then where the hell did I sleep last night!"

 

Picard: "You and O'Brien got hammered last night. He played your trombone and slept in your bed. You slept in an air duct."

Riker: "Next time I see O'Brien, I'm gonna be so pissed."

 

"There's about 4400 people coming out of that lake-and every one has been reported missing!"