TOS Caption Contest #210: Hole in the Wall

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Apollo... I think you'd better look behind you."
Apollo: "What, do you take me for a fool? That's the oldest trick in the book!"
McCoy: (thinking to himself) Oh great, just when I thought I couldn't feel more insignificant.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Apollo: Galactus? Feh! He cannot possibly harm me! Galactus is an arrogant fool who massacres innocent civilizations! He is a petty tyrant and thug! ... He's right behind me, isn't he?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Scotty: "What the.. ??? This isn't a Jeffries Tube!"

Kirk: "Take your medicine, son."

Red Shirt: "That wrench isn't going to do him much good where he's going."

Sulu: From the other end, "Oh myyyyy..."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Apollo: "Yeah, well, I may not be the top dog around here, but you humans are going to have it worse than me! That old saying is true: Shit does roll downhill. All the way downhill."

 

[Bob Karo]

Kirk: Okay, we've got Virgil and Morgan Earp, Kwai Chang Caine, and a barely passable Fezzik wearing a Holocaust Cloak. I'm not going to lie to you, gentleman. I don't like our odds for the costume contest this year. They've got two A-teams in there, and one of them has an actual black guy.

Apollo: Don't act like you aren't impressed!

 

[Isis]

Red Shirt 1: "Are you sure this is the correct waste receptacle for biodegradables?"

Red Shirt 2: "Positive--I checked, rechecked, and double checked my recheck. After the fine we got last time, I didn't want to take any chances."

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: Shouldn't we put some plywood over this or something?

Red Shirt: That would look terrible! We have to think about resale.

 

[Rat Boy]

Redshirt Ron: "All these years I thought the ship's engines ran on dilithium crystals."

Camisa Roja Ramirez: "Well, now you know better."

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Strutting Leo: Awesome work guys!! Let's go get a drink at Stinking Gorn's

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Fascinating. It appears we've been memed."

 

[jep]

Spock: "I'm sorry, Captain, this club was nothing like what Mr. Sulu described."

Kirk: "Wait a second.... SULU told you about this place?"

Spock: "Yes sir. He personally vouched for it."

Kirk: "Sulu.... personally vouched for Me?"



(Punchline courtesy of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country)

.

 

[LeadHead]

Redshirt: I hope no more of us die, this is our last container of redshirts.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Woodchippers.....OF THE FUTURE!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Redshirt Ron: "He was lucky he only got the poison plant. The other options were lightning bolt and exploding rock."

 

[Rat Boy]

Apollo: "Bow before my great power!"

*Kirk walks over, steps on toe*

Apollo: "Ow!"

*Apollo falls over*

Kirk: "Well, that was easy. Next planet!"

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kirk: "Sorry, I could've sworn I had the safety on. Garçon, this should cover any damages."

Scotty: "Don't worry, lass. I'll nae let 'im near ye."

Carolyn: "Yeah, about that... did I ever mention I'm a size queen?"

Scotty: "That's it, lads! It's in place. Why a camera in the women's locker room isn't standard issue, I'll never know."

 

[ItsGreen]

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Whoa... It's like what happened when I ate the brownies the Space Hippies brought aboard, except other people can see it and I have pants on.

 

[SeerSGB]

Lawgiver 1: Five minutes...you've been here five minutes...and and and
Lawgiver 2: YOU KILLED OUR GOD! How is this possible?

Spock: Cause we're just that fucking awesome, that's "how".
Kirk: Now excuse me, I'm going to bring the "awesome" to the local women.

 

[Maurice]

The 23rd century remake of FARGO ended more or less the same way.