TOS Caption Contest #200: 200-Gun Salute
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Redshirt Ron: Captain is this Fern Gully?
Kirk: Redshirt Ron, just because Lt. Uhura occasionally dances naked with those to distract the bad guys doesn't mean you can.
Redshirt Ron: Oh poo.
Balok: "Commander, do not be deceived by the size of my vessel. It has an equal potential to fill up your vessel!" (wink)
"Ten inches? I thought Vulcans couldn't lie."
"It's no myth."
Romulan: What's the matter? I thought you liked Orange Julius.
Kirk: This my coffee, but where's my chicken sandwich?
Spock: The Tribbles got it again Captain.
Mustafa: You Shot Me! You shot me right in the arm!
Kirk: Spock?
Spock: I'm sorry Captain, Tricorder Readings indicate this planet has no nude beaches.
Commander: It is god that you enjoy drinking with me, no one on this ship will since I had my last set of drinking buddies executed during a hangover.
Red Alert alarms go off
Kirk: I said it's not okay to sit in my Captains Chair!
Arex: But Captain!
Kirk: But nothing! Security, find some handcuffs that'll work on him and throw him in the brig!
Kirk: Outta the chair.
Spock (off-camera): Remember when I said that to you when I was captain and you were a whinny little cadet.
Arex: Oh, snap! Who's the bitch now?
Kirk: "Mr. Mallory, your social life is your own responsibility. If you can convince Yeoman Landon to wear that in private and on your and her own time, then more power to you. But there is no way I'm going to designate those palm fronds as 'manditory uniform of the day.'"
Crow, making lame dated jokes
Gold Key's proposed panel for the Star Trek IV comic book adaptation.
"No, I'm from Iowa, I only work in outer space."
Everyone was so happy for Corky Hanson when he won the Special Space Olympics. Unfortunately, joy turned to horror when he placed the still-lit ceremonial torch on the table.
Kirk: "Mallory, putting you in charge of the arboretum was my best decision yet."
Spock: "Indeed, this is some good shit."
Mallory: "Wait, Doctor McCoy said it's medicinal."
Landon: "Why are the hot ones so f**king stupid?"
Touching the metal plate while holding the glass gave Spock's ears better reception.
Whenever Kirk entered the bridge, Lt. "Humpy" Arex's "third leg" became apparent.
Commander: Wait a minute, does that just means that each of them is only five inches?
"Ten inches? I thought Vulcans couldn't lie."
"It's no myth."
Spock (hangs head): Yes.
Kirk didn't know who this strange new being sitting in his chair was,
but judging by his skin tone Kirk concluded it was the new Speaker of the House.