TOS Caption Contest #200: 200-Gun Salute

[Rat Boy]

Hard to believe we've gotten this far, but here we are: Caption Contest #200. First, let's settle things with...

Nothing gets in the way of science!

Kara: All we do is abduct humans and anally probe them. And what have we found out! That one out of ten don't really seem to mind.

Not too clear on the concept, is he?

Scotty: But, we're heading away from the Captain and Doctor McCoy!

Spock: Don't ask questions, play your cards right and you'll be the new First Officer.

With that kind of attitude, it's no wonder Chekov never made captain...

Actually, I realized there was a slight misspelling after I initially posted this. Here's the corrected version:

Chekov: "Thank you for the inwitation, but I vill not be attending your orgy. I do not vant to catch a wienereal disease."

Seems kind of fitting that you-know-who shows up in the Photoshop win...

"Don't mess with Carl Spock, baby!"

Congratulations to the winners (and please don't mess with Carl Spock). Obviously, this week commemorates the two hundredth go around of the TOS caption contest and I thought it'd be only fitting to honor the folks that helped to make it possible. Our first picture salutes the man who maybe started it all, but at least kept it going...Shatmandu:

Next, we honor another of my forebearers as caption contest host, Outpost4:

And we have to salute our late, great moderator Mallory:

And let's toast our other long-suffering mod, T'Bonz:

And finally, a salute to TAS and the former runner of that caption contest, DS9Sega:

Have fun with it, everybody.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy (out of frame): "Just how in the hell do you expect to blend in on planet Funketron with only an afro wig?"

Kirk: "I'll have you know that I speak jive."

Hansen: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Kirk: "What is it? Are the Romulans attacking again?"

Hansen: "No, the TV's stuck on Jersey Shores!"

Kirk: "So...you and Dr. Noel? Why don't you just go run around in the bushes for a half hour?"

Commander: "I better warn you. Two screwdrivers and I can barely stand."

Spock (thinking): Jackpot!

Kirk: *sniff* "Arex, what have I told you about that? We do that outside!"

*hits Arex over the head with a rolled-up newspaper*

 

[T'Girl]

Hansen: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Kirk: "Mess hall, come in."

Mess hall: "My God Captain ... it's Vulcan Chili night again!"

Kirk: "Mr. Alex, remember what happen lastt time I found you sitting in my chair?"

Alex: "Yes Captain, you karate chopped me on the back of my neck and then told Dr.McCoy not to fix it.

Kirk: "Mr. Alex, none of my business of course, but where is your third hand?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Romulan Commander: "So, how is your Tang? I understand it was a favorite drink among Earth's earliest astronauts."
Spock: "Very tasty, Commander. However...this is not the kind of 'tang' I was talking about."

 

[Gary7]

Spock: "Commander, I congratulate you on this fine Vulcan cuisine. But where did you get the idea that Tang is a popular Vulcan drink?"

 

[Gary7]

^^ Doh! Can't believe it, Jonas. We posted at the same time. But... you got in first, you win. Yours is funnier anyway.

 

[Gary7]

Uhura (OS): "Captain, it's the manager of the Burger King on Output 4."

Hansen: "Enterprise, can you read me? Our grills are overloaded. We've got grease fires everywhere. We were taken completely by surprise when three Romulan warbirds showed up. There are over 500 hungry Romulans here. Help us! We need supplies!"

 

[Mr. Adventure]

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I was rocking the 'fro long before Carl Spock, but do I get any props?

KIRK: You guys sure know how to party Hansen.

KIRK: No, I dont think she'll switch her uniform for fern leaves, But I like the way you think!

ROMULAN: So "roofies" are a popular drink on Earth?

SPOCK: Sure, lets go with that.

AREX: I'll show that stupid biped Kirk how to command a starship....

He's right behind me, isn't he?

 

[jep]

Sulu: "Oh yeah... this part is great. I had just stuck my ---"

(Sound of turbolift door opening.)

Kirk (OS): "MISTER.... Sulu, didn't I ask you to stop playing your home videos on the bridge?"


.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Spock: "Captain, the THC count is off the scales."
Kirk: "We'll take it from here Ensign, you may beam back to the ship now."

 

[Mr. Adventure]

 

[jep]

McCoy (OS): "Spock, what the hell is Jim doing?"

Spock (OS): "From the expression on Hansen's face, it appears the captain is "Boldly going where no man has gone before.""

Sulu: "(Sigh) Why do I miss out on all the good away missions?"


.

 

[Isis]

Sulu: "I'm so glad we have Quattron 4-color technology. Look at that great reception. It's like Hansen's right on the bridge with us."

 

[jep]

Hansen: "Wishing you were here again, Knowing we must say goodbye..."

Sulu: "(Sigh) I hate Space Operas."


.

 

[Isis]

Isis: "Thanks for last week's double win, Rat Boy!"

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "You said that story would curl my hair, but remember you're talking to Captain Kirk here...I assure you it didn't phase me a bit."

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Bones, this Alka-Seltzer... it's doing something funny to my head."
McCoy: "It's a miracle, Jim! You won't have to come see me for toupee adjustments any more."

 

[Gary7]

Spock: "Commander, I'm most curious. Can you explain the logic behind having that huge solar panel inside your room?"

Commander: "Why yes, Mr. Spock. I am so radiant that it seems a shame to waste all of that energy. Would you like some tanning lotion?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Thanks, Rat Boy, for the win and also the Kids in the Hall.

Sulu: Over a thousand subspace channels and the only thing to watch is some old white guy getting fried.

Kirk: Put those away, Mallory. Let's not give Lt. Uhura any ideas.

Spock: This one's for me. And this one's for the hommies.

McCoy (off-frame): Jim, Lieutenant Uhura from The Motion Picture called and would like her 'fro back.
Nichelle Nicholas (off-frame): That's Lieutenant Commander Uhura from The Motion Picture.