Movie Caption Contest #165: Don't Bother Me

[Rat Boy]

I have personally vouched for a new caption contest. Let's restore the faiths of...

This is what Cartwright gets for hiring Colonel West, a man who never seems to clean up after himself (see next picture)...

CinC: "C'mon Jim. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like Enterprise is going to open fire on the Chancellor's ship and then beem crew over to assassinate him or something."

Cartwright: *spit take*

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking...

SAREK( thinking): "He never has two cups of coffee at home..."

Denny Crane!

AZETBUR: And You've restored my father's faith....
KIRK: And you've restored,..eerr ...uuhhh,...MELONS!...Nice BIG bazoongas!!!! Forgive me I've got MAD COW!!

Congratulations to the winners. This week we (abruptly) transition over to the Next Gen movies. First, the only time Geordi got pussy that didn't belong to a hologram or a loopy comm relay technician, Picard asking Seam-Noggin why Ten Forward looks like the president's office, and Soran wondering if his medical insurance is paid up. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Data: "No, kitty, that's my pot pie!"

Geordi: "I think the chip is working."

Data: "Respect my authoritah!"

Seam-Noggin (thinking): Great, Picard's here. No tip for me.

Soran: "I know I said I wanted to do it in a bathroom, but I meant an empty bathroom!"

 

[Skywalker]

Data: "Oh, by the way, Geordi. Spot and I were wondering if you might be interested in joining us for...I believe you would call it a 'threesome.'"

 

[cooleddie74]

DATA: Please, Geordi.

Do not Cheese while you are in my quarters.

PICARD: Anyone seen the British-sounding guy?

BOLIAN: YOU, sir?

PICARD: No. The one with hair.

SORAN: Take a holopicture, you foul-smelling harlot.

It will last longer.

 

[cooleddie74]

DATA: Spot likes you.

He only bumps and grinds his hind quarters on those he enjoys being around.

 

[Captain Crow]

Geordi: Data, when I said I wanted pussy this wasn't what I had in mind.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Picard: Ensign, what are they doing?

Bolian (os): Captain, it would appear that they are in the midst of foreplay.

Picard (os): Oh, it makes me think back to my first...

Young Picard: You raping me isn't exactly torture, at my age. Actually, I was kind of hoping for something like this to happen...

 

[cooleddie74]

DATA: Spot is a gay cat, Geordi.

He likes it when a crew member smacks him on the bottom.

 

[cooleddie74]

BOLIAN: The usual, sir?

PICARD: Affirmative.

BOLIAN: Two cosmopolitans and a rope of cherry licorice...yes, sir! Coming right up!

SORAN: You know, the LAST time an alien female tried to seduce me I ended up casting her in TANK GIRL.

She was never heard from again.

 

[Captain Mike]

Thanks for the win...

DATA: Spot, May I remind you while you are in your "horny stage", that you are not allowed to rub your butt in my guests faces.

BOLIAN WAITER: Captain Picard, That gentleman over there would like a word with you.
PICARD: Run a check on him and see if he has had a wife vacationing on Risa...DO IT!!!!

SORAN: (TOTALLY Malcolm Mcdowell) If you are going to go down on me, DON"T use any of your teeth!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Picard's vacant stare could only mean one thing: Lwaxana Troi was within 50 parsecs and she was looking for a man.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: If Spot is bothering you,I can remove him.

GEORDI: Nah, this is probably as close to a pussy I'll get this century.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "Makes 'talk to the hand' seem pretty damned lame, doesn't it."

Picard: "I thought all Bolians were blue."
Bolian: "I fell asleep in the tanning bed last night."

B'Etor: "I could give you a night you would never forget!"
Soran: "Oh, puhleeze! I'll have the devil's own time just scrubbing your suggestion of it out of my mind!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SORAN: What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win...

Spot: "Does my butt look big in this?"

Seam-Noggin: "Captain, Data just asked if you and I could put our heads together and make a butt."
Picard: "Fuckin' emotion chip!"

Gossipy Klingon 1: "Premature ejaculation?"
Gossipy Klingon 2: "Nah, I bet he uses viagra."
Snobby Klingon: "A true warrior doesn't need enhancement!"

Spot: "Hey, do me a favour and check if I'm male or female this week. In all the confusion, I clear forgot."

 

[Alpha_Geek]

Soran: "I'm certain that it is a nice day for a white wedding, but I'm telling once again: You have me confused with someone else!"

 

[LeadHead]

La Forge: Data, what possessed you to push her into the water in the first place?

Data: Well, last time Picard threw Crusher off the ship, we got Pulaski. I miss her.

Picard: Great, I finally come down to Ten-Forward and it's dollar beer night.

Soran: Actually, I don't like you, but your sister is cute...

 

[Candlelight]

Data: "Two officers, one pussy? I do not get it"
Geordi: "Sadly neither do I..."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Data: Geordi, it strikes me that this is as close as you will get to --
Geordi: Spare me the obvious joke, Data.
Data: ...to pu -- ah. As you wish. I had hoped to practice a new subroutine Commander Riker suggested to me. He thought it might liven up my small talk.

Duras: I TOLD you to stop and ask for directions some four hours ago.

Bolian, attempting to joke: I'm glad to see you, sir. I was feeling a bit awkward, being the only bald man in the room. (Off Picard's severe look.) The fellow behind me is working....on...it, but...um, he's not quite there. Yet.
Picard: (stony silence)
Bolian: You know, I was thinking of putting in for a transfer.

 

[Isis]

Geordi: "Data, are you going a little crazy with your new feather duster, or are you just happy to see me?"